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She was warming up again, smiling and making jokes. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high. I reminded myself not to expect her to be anything less than an emotional roller coaster between now and Monday morning. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t at least try to help her keep her mind occupied and her spirits up.
“I was thinking,” I said, “maybe we could take a walk around the lake after dinner.”
“We might want to wait until tomorrow,” she said. “The mosquitos are really bad by the water this time of night.”
Okay, one idea down. No problem. I had a few more to go. “Maybe we could just sit on the porch? Watch the moon rise? It’s clear out, and I think I saw on my phone that tonight’s the full moon.”
She sucked in a breath, like I’d just said something taboo. “The full moon’s tomorrow,” she said, her tone suddenly stiff.
“Wow,” I said. “You just happen to know the phases of the moon off the top of your head?”
“No,” she said. “I deliberately chose May 6thas my wedding day because of the full moon. I scheduled my and Tyler’s first dance as husband and wife to coincide with the moonrise.” She poked around in her bowl of pasta with her spork, but she wasn’t eating. “It was kind of corny, I guess. At least Tyler thought so. He said I was being a bridezilla.” She put down her spork without having taken a single bite. “Anyway, I don’t know why I made such a big deal out of it. It’s just a dumb dance, right?”
She continued staring down at the dinner she wasn’t eating, clearly distracted by thoughts of what might have been.
I had an idea.
While she stared at her food, I covertly pulled my phone out of my pocket, laid it discreetly on my lap under the table, and pulled up my weather app.
Bingo.
“Let’s go out to the porch,” I said.
She looked up at me. “Yeah, alright. Just let me take care of the dishes first.”
“Let’s do it now.”
“It’ll only take five minutes,” she said. “I’ll be quick.”
I walked around to her side of the table and pulled out her chair. “I desperately want to go to the porch with you right now.”
She gave me a curious look. “Okay,” she finally said. “If it’s so important to you, let’s go to the porch.”
Once outside, she went straight to the double-seater Adirondack chair and sat down. I stood in front of her and scrolled through my phone.
“Aren’t you going to sit down?” she said.
I didn’t answer, just hit the play button on my iTunes and then inserted my phone into my shirt pocket. As the longest slow song on my playlist began to play, I extended my hand.
“What are you doing?”
“The moonrise is starting right now,” I said, thumbing to the darkening night sky. “Not quite full, but close.” I extended my hand again. “May I please have this dance?”
She smiled a little smile, not quite giggling, but decidedly coy.
“You’re not going to make me extend my hand a third time, are you?” I teased. “My arm’s starting to get tired.”
She hesitated for just a moment, then stood up and took my hand. I pulled her in close and wrapped one arm around her back. She draped one arm over my shoulder and lay her head upon my chest.
The lyrics kicked in, and we began to sway in slow, lazy circles. She was soft and warm in my arms, and I felt like I could dance with her under the moonlight until the sun came up. I lay my head atop hers, hoping that the reason her body was warming in my arms was because she was falling in love with me, not because she was imagining that the man who was holding her was Tyler. I wanted this moment to be about us, not about him.
But I reminded myself how recent her breakup was. I was ready to fall in love again. I was ready to make love again. Clara was not.
And that was okay. Time heals all wounds, and I could wait however long it took for her to recover from hers. We didn’t need to have sex tonight. Or tomorrow night, or next week, or next month. Today was just our beginning. There would only be one first time, and I wanted to do it right. No hesitations, no regrets, no ghosts of fiancés past between us. Just pure unbridled passion between two people in love.
There was no need to rush. If things between Clara and me went the way I hoped they would, we had all the time in the world.
CHAPTER 39
