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With shaky hands, Rob slipped something out from the pocket of his sweats. The metal gleamed under the dim lights of the bedroom.
“You think you can pull that trigger, faggot?”
Neil winced at the word. Don had done it now, but Neil gave nothing away, no reaction or smart comeback emerged from his lips.
Without another word, Rob clicked the safety off. His hands no longer shook. Clarissa let out a startled cry. Neil’s heart thudded so hard in his chest, he was certain everyone could hear it. He knew Rob inside out.
Who was this stranger, gripping a weapon of murder with sure and practiced hands?
“Neil and I love one another, Don. Thanks to you, we’ve really bonded, but this craziness needs to come to an end.”
“Don’t, Rob. Stop,” Clarissa whispered.
On her knees now, she crawled to Rob, tugging at his shirt, but he didn’t look at her. Neil understood. Rob wouldn’t dare tear his gaze away from a monster, because one moment of weakness could mean the end for all of them. Now that Rob had pointed a gun at Don, Don would never forgive them.
“Listen to your mother, you sorry piece of shit.”
Neil didn’t see Rob pull the trigger, but the roar of the gun made him jump. Later, Neil wondered how easy it had all been, ending the life of the monster who had scarred all of them, inside and out.
“We can’t leave him like that. We have to get rid of the evidence,” Neil told Rob, keeping his voice firm. The cops might never buy the self-defense story, and he couldn’t afford to lose Rob, not now, not ever.
Pale, hands shaking, dropping the gun, Rob’s mouth fell open to a perfect ‘o’ of shock. If Neil didn’t take charge now, he’d lose Rob forever. Picking up the gun, Neil clicked the safety off and tucked it inside the waistband of his sweats.
He’d dispose of the gun and erase every trace of evidence until everything looked normal. Deep down, Neil knew nothing would be the same. This secret would tie the three of them to their graves. Guilt might eat them alive in the end, but it didn’t matter. For the first time in his life, Neil felt safe, unafraid, and in control, although Rob had pulled the trigger.
“Neil.” Rob faltered, eyes wide, large as saucers. The fear there transported Neil back to the past, to all those nights they’d huddled in the closet, listening intently for Don’s heavy footsteps.
Neil crept up to him, wrapped his arms around him, and pulled him close into a hug. Rob stilled against him, ragged breathing ceasing, but Neil could hear Rob’s heart, hammering hard against his chest.
“Rob, we need to clean this up. Can you help me?”
Silent understanding passed between them, punctured by Clarissa’s sudden wail of agony. She was completely inconsolable. Unable to tear her gaze from the mess, she whispered four little words under her breath repeatedly, words that would forever damage Rob.
“I won’t forgive you.”
****
The moment the seemingly never-ending graduation ceremony ended, Rob tugged off his stuffy toga and pulled off his ridiculous hat. Unlike most of the young men and women there, the paper certificate in his hand meant nothing. What use was a bachelor’s degree in marketing when Rob had no interest in meeting other people or launching someone else’s product?
Marketing was Neil’s thing, but the years hadn’t been wasted. Despite a year apart, Neil and he had tailored their schedules so they took the same classes and participated in the same activities. Hell, Rob supposed these really were the best years of his life. Nothing could replace the soothing calm when he sat next to the only man he wanted in the lecture hall, or when they collaborated on a project. They worked so well, became so co-dependent on each other that the world no longer mattered.
“Could you keep that until after the pictures?” Neil asked, looking at his toga and hat with dismay.
Throngs of people exited the hall where the graduation ceremony was held. They flocked to friends, parents, and relatives. A pang of longing hit him then, unwarranted sentimentality. After burying their father in the backyard, no one in the house had spoken about the accident. At times though, Rob couldn’t help but wonder how things would have been like if their dad hadn’t been a monster. Like the rest of their cohorts, would they be having a nice dinner at some pricey restaurant with their parents, recounting wild tales?
He’d left the invitation to the ceremony on the fruit bowl right in the middle of the dining room, hoping in some way, his mother would see it. After Don’s death, Clarissa had never been the same. Rob hoped she’d get better, but she never did. Neil kept persuading him to move away from that house of nightmares, but Rob lacked the courage to leave his ghost of a mother there.
Without him to anchor her back to reality, she’d join her dead husband soon enough in the ground. Not that she’d been the most pleasant woman to deal with. If she wasn’t ignoring them, she made it her life’s mission to make their lives harder.
Well screw it. Only one person mattered to Rob, and Neil stood right in front of him. Feeling Neil’s strong hands cupping his jaw, he blinked. Looked around to check no one watched them. Their relationship was something they’d decided to keep a secret, because they still shared the same last name.
“Don’t look at anything or anyone else but me,” Neil said softly.
Rob met his gaze and smiled, liking what he found there—fierce hunger and celebration. Trying to hide that he knew about the surprise Neil had planned turned out to be extremely hard. Tonight, they wouldn’t be taking the forty minute drive back to Lily Valley. Neil had reserved a room for them at a charming inn a couple of hours from the college. There, no eyes could watch or pass judgment on them.
God knew they needed some private time alone. The past few months hadn’t been easy, full of cramming and Rob’s mother alarmingly watchful like a hawk over them for once. She’d never taken interest in their studies, so why start now?
Neil released his hold on Rob as Cindy, who was part of their circle of friends, ran up to them.
