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“I will,” Ruth replied but didn’t make a move to her mother. She just turned and left the house.
Anderson followed behind, saying nothing, doing nothing. She was in such a hurry that she was in the truck before he could even get to the vehicle. Walking through the cold to get in his truck, he looked around at the small farm, trying to see a younger Ruth growing up here. A shiver ran through him at the thought that Ruth had left this tranquil farm to live with her boyfriend due to abuse.
Driving back to town, Ruth was silent. Was she thinking about the conversation she had with her mom, or was she thinking about her father being dead? Ruth’s voice, stating firmly that he would leave her, was playing over and over in his mind.
“Do you really think I will leave you, Ruth?” He had to know.
Ruth was looking out the passenger window and didn’t turn to him when she said, “Yes, you want to go back to Grand Forks. I will always stay here. This will come to an end.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“Why what?” She turned to him. He thought that she would have tears in her eyes, but they were dry.
“Why are you staying here?”
“This is my town. I have never wanted to leave. It’s the reason I was okay with Franky going to college without me. I wanted to be here. I am comfortable here.” She waved her arm at the surrounding landscape.
“But you barely spend any time in the actual town.”
“I know, but I also know that when I do, everyone will be friendly, and I can talk to any of them about anything or nothing.” He looked at her, and she was smiling a little bit.
“I like that when Coach Miller comes in with a few players, that means volleyball season is starting, and they are looking for money for uniforms. I always donate, even if the uniform is almost the same as the last ones that they bought. Or when a small group come in around now from the high school and are looking for money for prom, I give a little and know that for another night, these kids will get a memory that they will take with them when they leave here. And I like when the town starts decorating for Christmas, and everyone does their part. Oh, and I love when the summer carnival happens.”
“But you don’t really take part in any of it,” he reminded her.
“I live downtown, so I can be a part of it even if I don’t go down there. I guess I have stopped being involved over the years. That’s why I like to work for you. I can be in the action of downtown and watch the city through my window. I can talk to the people who stop by.” She turned to look out the window again as the town came into view.
“And you stay for that? Have you ever thought about leaving?” he asked, because nothing he heard seemed like a good enough reason to stay there.
“No, not really. Nothing is really holding me here, but there are strings that keep me here. I’ve never tried to break those,” she admitted when he pulled in front of the office. Before he could respond, she was out of the pickup and into her building.
Anderson took a moment to look around her world. Two blocks of buildings, most were nearly a hundred years old. Oddly, most were occupied—both business and upstairs apartments seemed to be full at all times. Only Rafferty’s building had issues with both.
Anderson watched a man rush out of the post office into the bitter cold day. Though he was tightly bundled into his jacket, hat, and mittens, he knew the man. Was it comforting to Anderson to know that he knew this man? That’s what Ruth liked about this town; that she knew everyone and what they were up to. Anderson realized he didn’t care about that at all, and he didn’t think he ever would.
Slowly, he got out of the truck and followed the path Ruth had taken into her building. After kicking off his shoes at the top of the stairs, he walked inside, but she wasn’t in the main rooms. A moment later, he found her in bed, still fully dressed. He said down next to her.
“Go to work, Anderson. I just need a few minutes.”
He knew she needed more than a few minutes. Maybe even days was too short of a time to get over losing a father that had never really a father at all.
“Okay, call me if you need me.” He got up and pulled the blanket off the end of the bed and laid it over her. He watched as she pulled it closer around her, and he leaned down and kissed her forehead.
As he left the apartment, he wondered if he should just stay, but he felt that she just needed to be alone with her thoughts. Alone to sort out what Howard’s passing meant to her.
Walking down to his office, he wondered what it meant for them. Was there even a future for them? Ruth was sure that there was not. The fact that she felt so confident about it ending meant that he was starting to think it also. Her doubts were becoming his doubts.
