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“They deserved to die for not protecting you.”
I can’t imagine what this man must have suffered through to make him think that way.
I don’t touch that loaded statement and aim for more stable ground instead. “When they died Polaris and I went to live with our uncle in Montana. He had this beautiful three-story home on a beautiful ranch. Like this mansion, it had everything on the inside. Outside there were horses, cows, pups and my uncle’s sweet wife was there too. I thought our luck turned around. Until a week after moving in he thought I would be payment for all his good deeds of taking in two burdensome orphans on the couch in the basement.”
Ares releases a string of Russian. From the bite of his clipped tone, I may not understand the words but I feel them as if I do.
Strong fingers tighten around my wrist where he has his hand over mine.
I’m swiftly pulled onto his lap and his hands cup my face. I need sleep. I can feel its fingers dragging me down. But the simple feel of his heated touch on me has me wired.
“Go on.”
“If he wasn’t beating me, he was trying to take what he couldn’t have. Fighting off a man three times my ten-year-old self isn’t how I saw my life going.”
Burning tears scorch my cheeks. Numbness steals over my body.
“When I would misbehave also known as fight him off from raping me, he would fist my hair, drag me through the house and lock me in the basement. She would do nothing but turn a blind eye. Twenty-three stairs lead into hell. I can’t tell you how many times I counted them. A dirty, rat-infested place that only had one lightbulb and a chain in the back corner.”
Goosebumps break out over my arms and my mind’s eye fills with bad memories. The scent of musty dirt burns my nostrils. “He installed it just for me. The chain I mean. The only silver lining was whenever he threw me down there, he’d put my sister down there too.”
“That’s why you freak out when you’re cuffed.”
“And when forced into small places with locked doors. He refused to let me wear my hair any other way but down. He liked to pull it, control me.”
“Yet you did not fear me when I did it.”
My breath shudders from my lungs. “I know. I wish I understood why.” But I leave it at that, the rest of my jumbled mess of feelings unpacked and stuffed into the dark corners of my mind.
“He’s dead so there’s that.”
“Good. At this rate, I’d be killing off your entire family.”
“Thank you.” And this time I actually agree with him.
“You’ll never have to face a horror like that again. You will never have to suffer at the hands of another man. I’m sorry,malyshka. Sorry I cannot kill a dead man for you. Sorry you ever have to be a part of this.” He releases my hair and moves as if he wants to put distance between us.
I hate how easily he affects me. How my heart races the second he tries to put space between us. I hate needing him.
“No,” I blurt. “No,” I start again in a softer tone. “You don’t scare me. I like it when you touch me.” Fear of losing his touch or losing him sears through me hotter than lightning. “Please.” I take his hand and twine our fingers together. I may not know the criminal I’m quickly falling for. But the man who plunked down money to save a sweet soul like Avery. That man I want to know. But I have a feeling the criminal life he lives is a package deal I’ll have to accept as well.
I squash the panic that colors my cheeks. Embarrassing as it is.
“I like to hear you beg.”
Surprise parts my mouth and his eyes fall to the tip of my tongue when I swipe it across my lips.
“Be careful,malyshka. Very careful. Unless fucking you right here and right now is what you want.”
“You wouldn’t.” I’m torn between wanting to see how far he’ll go right here, and right now. And hoping he’s only teasing.
He drags the rough pad of his thumb over the path my tongue took; I watch mesmerized as he pops the button to my jeans and slides his hand inside.
I didn’t think I could turn any redder, but he proves it’s possible.
Flush with heat, I can only moan and accept the truth when he finds me wet. Thick fingers spread my tender folds and I gasp when he sinks two into my sheath. Heat flares and surprise drops my hands onto his shoulders. I watch the pulse point on the side of his neck throb in time with the one along his temple. Fear of being caught, fear of what he makes me feel. Fear of life after this is all over…all the above gels together to create mental quicksand for my emotions. I can step in and lose myself in this new world. Forget the fear. Or, I can skirt the edges, get just close enough I don’t fall in yet enjoy the forbidden touches of this man. And keep my life when it comes time to leave New York behind me. And Ares only a memory.
I raise up and glide down Ares’ fingers slowly. Hot, liquid silk spills to wet my folds and him.
