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“That for a start,” he replied, laughing. “This weekend I plan on looking at apartments, probably not far from you. Do you want to come along? We can spend tomorrow together for starters.”
“I’d like that,” she said, trying to keep things real. Apartment hunting she could do.
He leaned in and gave her their first real kiss on the lips. His mouth was cold from the soda he’d just had, and the taste of him went right through her body and settled in a private place. She bit her lip to keep from grinning. So! She was still alive.
“But we don’t have to wait until tomorrow. Do you have to work this afternoon?”
“I’ll check in later,” she answered, eager to keep up the momentum they were making. “What did you have in mind?”
“I’d like to start over with you. Do you want to take a walk on the beach?”
“Sure. You know I’m always ready to walk the beach. We’re getting to know each other, is that the plan?”
“All you know about me is the bad stuff,” he said. “I’m ready to show you the good.”
“I know a lot of good stuff about you, Ryan. When we first met, I was afraid I was coming across as a cheerleader because all I did was sing your praises.”
“Sing away! Everyone needs a cheerleader. I’m lucky that you’re mine.”
They got up from the table and headed out to the parking lot so she could change her shoes and lock her bag up in the trunk.
“I need to clarify that staying clean and healthy is going to take work. You just need to know that.”
“Ryan, I’m a big proponent of taking one day at a time. Hopefully, that will help.”
“It will really help. Then at least we’re on the same page, so to speak.”
They walked a while, looking at the water. It was beautiful there at the beach, the sea spray teasing her, reminding her.
“What kinds of things did you and Jake do together?”
“He surfed. I observed. If it was ridiculously cold, too cold for even a wet suit, he started to lose it a little bit. He’d mess around with his surfboard collection. I was just sort of there. We hung out with friends when we weren’t working. Jake taught me to live in the moment. He had to do it in order to surf when he could.”
“What did he do for a living?”
“He was an environmentalist. His big project was cleaning up the ocean. He was obsessed with it. Anything to do with the water or surfing, and he was addicted.”
Ryan asked more questions about Jake, but after a while, she found talking about him depressing and tried changing the subject. Was it important for them to know about their former partners? She didn’t think so. If they ended up getting serious about each other, they’d learn about them over a period of time.
Ryan seemed to need to talk about Caroline, obviously working through the pain and other issues that were still unresolved. He had a lot of guilt. If listening to it was going to be part of their relationship, it was something she needed to figure out. Getting to know Ryan would involve weighing whether she wanted to be part of his journey, just like he’d said.
“I feel like I’m doing all the talking again,” he said, flustered. “Tell me about you.”
“You’re fine, Ryan. I’ve led a pretty uncomplicated life. Except for my boyfriend getting killed right before our wedding, there’s not much for me to share except for the latest book I’m reading.”
“I’ll read what you’re reading,” he said, eager to find commonalities.
“I’ll send you my reading list,” she replied. “My TBR list is about one hundred titles long.”
“That’s a great idea. I’m in the mood for something other thanAtlas of Airway Management.”
“Oh god, that’s too funny.”
Ryan kissed her goodbye when they reached their cars, parting company with plans to meet up later for dinner and a movie. Neither activity really appealed to Sofia, but she agreed because she wanted to follow through to see if she could recapture the interest she’d originally had in Ryan. The chemistry that she’d felt when they first met had diminished somewhat, and she wondered if she was in protection mode because he’d exited her life. Now that he was back with the news and more heartbreaking revelations, she couldn’t help comparing Ryan’s complicated life with Jake’s simplicity.
A big red flag, however, was the impending battle he might have to regain full custody of his daughter. She was still grieving for Jake. Was Ryan’s custody battle something that she was able to take on?
The truth loomed ahead; it depended on what evolved between her and Ryan. From its inception, her relationship with him was based on what shethoughtshe could help him accomplish. She’d started it by inviting him to sit at the table with her at Poki Poki. Easy enough, a hot panhandler, but he’d ended up getting from point A to point B, managing his problems with very little help from her. He gave her credit, but she felt it was unwarranted. That was the fact she needed to remember. He’d moved out of her house and had stopped relying on her, not that he’d ever done so in the first place.
