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Maybe this is all for the best. Maybe I needed to be separated from them to gain some clarity and allow them the opportunity to move on if that’s what they want. They deserve to be happy and find real, true love. Not some bullshit fantasy life that might never even really work. It seems damn near impossible to live that life without something falling apart, but I know now what I want and I have to hope for the best. I just hope that someday their hearts can learn to understand that this is how things are going to be now.
Although unexpected, I do have feelings for Ren and with that, I’ll be losing some more of my independence, but gaining so much more. What the boys do with the news is up to them. I won’t hold them back from moving on if they can’t handle it. Now I just need to navigate this as best as I can.
With that, I make up my mind and open up my heart necklace and I push the button, nervous but sure. I trust my guys to have faith in my decision.
* * *
Knock,knock.
I hearJames from the other side of my door. I don’t want to talk to him so I burrow into my blankets, listening to him open up the door.
“Pardon, miss. The master would like to speak with you. Please make yourself presentable for dinner in an hour. You’ll be served in the dining hall tonight.” He says.
I grunt my acknowledgement, unsure if I can even form words at the moment. My heart is racing, whether in hope or fear of what I need to tell Ren, I have yet to determine.
Once I hear the door shut, I shoot up off the bed and run to the bathroom. Wallowing in self-pity from the confines of a room made for a queen, has allowed me to stay clean but I haven’t exactly gone out of my way to take care of myself. Now that I’ve finally woken up and know exactly what I want. I need to make things right with Ren before the cavalry comes.
My mom and nonno are mostly aware of who I’m with and what I want, but when the guys inevitably come to them, they know the parts to play. At first they were furious when I told them everything, but they trust me enough to know that I’ll call in our army if need be. And despite his love for me, I know nonno is thinking about how beneficial these ties can be for la famiglia. As a mob boss, it would be stupid of him not to.
For now, I’m just trying to figure out how to get what I want. I’ve never been able to have the freedom to just do what I want to do. It’s always been what I needed to do to survive, but now things are different. Now I’m going to be someone’s wife - multiple someone’s at that if I get my way - and we won’t take over the families yet, as the head of our families are all still alive, but we will make names for ourselves and we will own the entire damn underworld.
The path we’ve taken to get here may have gotten skewed along the way, but this was always inevitable. We have always been inevitable. Now that I’m starting to understand that on a deeper level, I’m so excited to see how things will change. The things we’ll accomplish together will go down in history.
* * *
Walking down the stairs,I smell dinner before I make my way into the dining room, my stomach growls in hunger while simultaneously feeling like a swarm of butterflies has made a home there. I’m about to go in and make some heavy demands that may or may not backfire completely, but at least I’ll know what to expect going forward.
As I enter the room I notice two things immediately. Someone is joining us for dinner and it’s not a good thing. Ren isn’t sitting at the head of the table as is expected, instead he’s off to the right side of an older gentleman with silver hair and an ugly scowl. I can’t see Ren’s face but if the tautness of his shoulders and nefarious energy floating through the air are anything to go by, I’d say he’s downright pissed off that this old guy is here.
“Ren... My love.” I speak calmly and directly to Ren, as if to state that he’s the only man who gathers my attention. If nothing else I know when to steel my spine and accept what the situation at hand is. Keeping my cards close to my chest won’t hurt, but I will not cower to the man who has clearly taken charge of things here. This must be Raffaele Gavino. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.
Ren looks to me and the relief and adoration that crosses his face is an immediate balm to my soul. He masks his face quickly, however, it’s enough to calm me, even knowing this is likely going to end badly.
“Ren, won’t you introduce me to your… associate?” I ask looking at him, purposefully demeaning Raffaele’s position of authority by not giving the patriarch of the Gavino family my attention. He needs to understand that he’s not the only person of power here. He may be the head of the mafia on the East coast, but my boss is Alessandro Salvatore and I don’t show respect because it’s expected. I show respect when it’s earned.
I hold my hands out for him, showing a level of affection I have yet to in public. It clearly catches him off guard, as his eyes widen in surprise, but he quickly catches on that I’m willing to play the part for his sake. I know firsthand what’s expected of us and how we are meant to be seen in front ofhisboss. Grandfather or not, la famiglia before family is more often than not the case in the life of the mob and I’m not willing to see him get hurt because I’ve decided to take things too far. I may not be willing to cower to this old man, but I will respect Ren for the kindness he’s shown me since being here. Despite having been the wrong way to have gone about things, I’m here now and I’m considering marrying Ren, so let’s see what the old man has to say.
“Mia bella, thank you for joining us for dinner. You look lovely. Please meet my grandfather, Raffaele Gavino.” He says, while standing and moving to collect me from the doorway. His Italian accent coming through a bit stronger, giving away his nerves. He’s calm on the outside, but his eyes show a simmering rage lies just beneath the surface of his easy going demeanor. He doesn’t smile, and if not for his initial reaction to seeing me, I’d be confused as to who his anger is directed towards.
“I’m so sorry for this mi amore. He arrived unannounced. You’re quite possibly about to see a side of me I’d wished to keep from you.” He whispers, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my lips before trying to step back away from me. Instead of letting him, I pull him in closer and deepen the kiss, opening my mouth and accepting his tongue against mine. If nothing else, I want this to be believable. His grandfather needs to believe that I’m falling in line. Plus, it’s no hardship to kiss the fuck out of this super hot guy that I may or may not be genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with.
Breaking away from the kiss, I’m breathless. I keep my forehead against his for a few more moments to catch my breath. The kiss itself was borderline inappropriate, but I needed Ren to understand that I’m here for him no matter what happens next.
“It’s okay, let’s get through this together and talk inourroom tonight.” I whisper back, looking him dead in the eye so that he fully understands how badly I need to speak with him privately before looking past him and finally greeting his grandpa.
“Hello sir, it’s nice to finally meet you and put a face to the name.” I smile just enough to be considered polite and offer a curt nod, but give nothing more, letting my face drop into a more passive look.
“Hm, let me get a good look at you, come, come.” He snarls, watching each of my movements intently, not bothering to conceal his judgements.
I look to Ren and then back to the old man. Forcing my legs to move toward him, refusing to show even an ounce of fear or hesitation.
This man is used to people fearing him. I’m not one willing to be afraid of many things outside of my own heart. Ren tightens his grip on my hands as though he doesn’t want me to go. He knows something is wrong too. I pull him along with me, keeping him close and doing my best to ease his mind as we get closer to the menacing old man before us. When we come to a stop Raffaele leers at me, slowly taking me in from head to toe, and apparently finds me lacking.
“Mi aspettavo di più da un Salvatore. Non è abbastanza brava.” He says, his scowl taking over his entire face.
I’m not fluent, but I’m not stupid either and I’ve picked up quite a bit of Italian from what my own nonno has taught me. I’m fairly certain he said he expected more from a Salvatore and that I’m not good enough for his grandson. Fucking dickhead.
“Abbastanza nonno! Deve essere mia moglie. Nemmeno tu mancherai di rispetto ai contatti tra famiglie. Lei è in debito con me. Ho intenzione di tenerla!” Ren shouts.
