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One
Alessandra
The wedding night...
As I follow the priest and Raffaele out of the dining room with Ren at my back, I can’t help but feel as though I’m being led to my own slaughter. It’s probably for the best that I haven’t eaten, because what was earlier a hungry stomach has now turned sour with all the conflict churning in my gut.
This whole predicament I’ve found myself in isn’t ideal and it definitely isn’t where I thought I’d end up, especially not within the last year or so. Ever since Lauren died, my whole world has flipped on end and very little has made sense since. I never thought that having a fake mother and a fake life would all make more sense to my brain than this twisted tale I’m living. This impromptu marriage is just the icing on the crazy cake.
All I can do now is hope that I’m making the right decision. I’ve always trusted my gut and I’m doing that now even though it’s the biggest risk I could ever take when it comes to my guys. Only time will tell if they’ll be understanding or not. This may be the very reason my heart breaks. The same heart I’ve kept under lock and key for seventeen years. Will I even recognize myself when I look in the mirror next?
I reach my hand out behind myself to grab and squeeze Ren’s hand, whether to offer or gain comfort, I’m not exactly sure, but when he squeezes back a sense of calm washes over me and I allow myself to find some pleasure in what’s to come. This whole situationseemslike something that’s out of my control, but ultimately it’s my choice. Ren knows if I didn’t want this, I’d fight to the death to avoid what’s coming. I’m just playing the game and I intend to play it better than anyone else. I knew this was coming sooner or later based on my entire stay here atIl Maniero Dello Stalkerand I’ve come to the conclusion that this is what will be best for all of us—let’s just hope the guys see things my way too. I was always going to marry someone anyway. It’s what we all decided. This is just a little turbulence on our journey. It’s for the best. I’m convinced of it.
Being able to tame the ‘little woman’ will keep Ren safe from his despicable grandfather—the fucking disgusting, chauvisistic pig he is—in the short term. Plus, it’ll keep the head of the Gavino family—one of the most powerful men in the mafia—right where I want him until I’m ready to make bigger moves against him because that daywillcome. I don’t care who Raffaele Gavino is to the underworld, to me he’s nothing more than a target. To be honest, I don’t even care who he is to Ren. I’ll be the one looking him in the eye when his soul leaves his body.
That vicious mafia crime boss will die staring me in the face if it’s the last thing I do. It may kill me, but Iwillmake sure to take that motherfucker all the way down to the gates of hell myself if I have to. The evil he spreads throughout the world ends with me.
For now, I’ll go along to get along and work out a bigger plan for the long run. The next time I see or speak to mynonno, I’ll be able to work through the contracts so that, if the boys still want me, I can still have a ceremonial commitment to them and bind our families contractually by accepting my fate to provide heirs to each of the families. I never thought that day would come, but if it means I get to keep my guys together and ensure I keep my family safe, I’ll do anything. It won’t change anything really, except I won’t be able to legally marry Matteo like originally planned. I can’t imagine he’ll take that well at all, but it’ll be a good test of my persuasion skill if I can make him understand that this is the way things need to be, that they have to happen this way.
I’m going to have to keep this marriage a secret for a while until I can convince him that it was the right way to go about things. At least at first. He’s going to struggle enough with the idea of me evendatinghis brother. Fuck, he’s going to struggle with the entire concept ofhavinga brother. Plus all of the stuff with his mom and a whole ass family he doesn’t even know about. He isn’t under any false delusions that his dad is a good guy, or an honest one for that matter, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be angry and hurt over the whole situation his dad has put all of us in.
Then there’s also the fact that I’ve hit the location alert button in my necklace, so the guys will be coming. If they don’t hate me for bailing on them, that is. Not only do I have to break that news to Ren, but if they do show up, I’ll have to keep my guys a secret from anyone with prying eyes that may tell Raffaele as well. I’m hoping I can convince the boys to stay here with me and Ren, because if they choose to stay with me, we’ll have to hide away for the summer until I come up with a foolproof plan to rid the world of the old scumbag walking five feet ahead of me. He cannot know about them until I’m ready. I’m not comfortable walking this fine line of secrets and falsehoods, but I just want to protect everyone.
“You may be a disrespectful little bitch, but you’ll learn your place soon enough. My grandson is nothing if not exceptional at following my orders like a good second in command should. He’ll see soon enough that keeping you quiet and obedient is best and Ren here is good at getting what he wants. I’ve taught him to be ruthless when need be, so best not defy him too much or he’ll have to whip the disobedience out of you,” Raffaele threatens me, catching me slightly off guard after getting lost in my own thoughts there for a short time.
His smile is venomous as his thin lips stretch broadly and his teeth glint when the light catches them. Raffaele is the ultimate cliche. If I said to picture an old school mob boss, I guarantee anyone would get an exact replica of him in their mind. An ugly old man who drapes himself in his wealth and the blood of his victims, wearing his evil openly for all to see.
Biting my tongue, I do my best to remain passive so I can bide my time. Honestly, he’d only be doing the world a favor if he could just shut the fuck up I’d love to help him out with that, but I have to be smart about everything right now. A girl can dream though, right?
You know it’s a crooked life you live when even a catholic priest doesn’t flinch at the grotesque verbal garbage spewing from the mouth of the man next to him. It’s clear as night and day the differences in how things are run from coast to coast. Mynonnowould never say or do anything to abuse a woman unless absolutely necessary, verbally, or otherwise. He keeps things from getting too shady and keeps a tight leash on la famiglia. Honor, respect, and family are put above all else. This man is the farthest thing from honorable you can get. He’s an old misogynistic piece of shit and I’m practically salivating at the idea of watching the life drain from his eyes.
Ren almost silently growls beside me, allowing himself a quiet moment to gather himself before addressing his grandfather. It’s obvious to me the disdain and hostility he feels toward the old man. I wonder how his grandfather can think he’s got Ren so under his thumb when it’s so obvious to me how much hatred hides behind Ren’s gaze. Sure he has the practiced face of one who holds no emotion, but one look into the depths of those forest green eyes and you can see it all. The disgust at his own nonnos’ words burns bright and vicious.
“You have nothing to worry about with her, grandfather. She’s willingly complying with this spontaneous marriage that you’ve cooked up, isn’t she?Avresti dovuto parlarmene prima. Non era giusto lanciarlo su nessuno di noi due. If nothing else, I deserve better fromyou.” Ren’s rapid-fire Italian falls free from his mouth, his chest beginning to rise and fall faster and faster with each word passing over his lips. His chest collides with my back as he moves to face off with his grandfather on my behalf. Only because I stop and turn to place my hand on his heart does he retreat slightly as they argue outside the door to a large open room, not unlike the grand salon at my home in California. The priest has already gone in, leaving just the three of us to stand around and argue, though I’d bet big money there are guards watching from a distance.
“Ah, ah, ah… watch your tongue,nipote. You deserve whatever I’m willing to give you, which isnothing. You’ve been slacking lately. You’ve been off chasingquesta puttanaall over the goddamn country. You haven’t earned the right to know anything as it stands right now. And for ehh, what, thiscagna stupida? Sure, she’s got a pretty face, but that’s all she is—a cunt to stick your dick in at the end of the day. It’s time you remember who you are and stop letting pussy win you over. If it’s that good, I may need to have a taste myself,” he sneers at me, lust and hatred coloring his beady gaze.
It’s the worst kind of feeling that washes over me. Ren is vibrating with rage at this point and although I’m angry, I know he’s only doing it to prove a point. He’s a man, so of course he’d fuck me just because I have big tits, a nice ass, and some pouty lips. But to a man like him, I’m just an empty vessel for him to fill with cum. He’s the epitome of everything that’s wrong in this world.
“Nothing good comes from a woman. Just look at your mamma. She cooks, she cleans, she’s nice to look at, eh? But she’s never married so she’s left to be a good time to my men. She’s a toy, nothing more, nothing less. It’s time you get your priorities straight. You will marry this woman. You will break this woman. You will impregnate this woman. Once your heir is born, do with her as you wish. Hell, sell her to the highest bidder for all I care. But you will not put her on a pedestal. You will not allow her to think she has power. You will man up and one day take my place when I die. And then you will reign over everyone as the powerful manImade you to be.” With that, he pats Ren fondly in the face as though he knows that after a lifetime of obedience, his grandson will fall in line.
What he doesn’t understand is how deeply Ren feels for me. He was raised to think I belong to him. He’s had his entire lifetime to develop an obsession with me so strong that he plotted, stalked, and kidnapped me. His love for me is stronger than any forced compliance or sense of duty he feels for his grandfather.
Raffaele doesn’t know and will never understand how love really works and his ignorance will be his downfall in the end. I can feel it in my bones. Ren must be a better actor than I realized, or Raffaele is just too busy focusing on his own ego to see the love shining brightly through Ren’s gaze when he looks at me. If he ever paid attention, he’d know that as fast as I’m falling for his grandson as well, I’d go to the ends of the earth to protect him. I’d fucking marry him just to ensure his safety and his happiness. I’d risk everything for this long lost stranger because of the unexplainable bond we share. He’s such an intrinsic part of me just as Noah, Cohen, and Matteo are, that our connection was immediate and powerful beyond measure.
Loving someone sometimes means that you’re willing to risk it all to make things work. It means lowering your walls and allowing vulnerability to show so you can learn to be your best version of yourself with your chosen partner. As long as you can be proud of the choices you’ve made, you’re doing it right. The difference is, I have multiple partners and I need to do my best to not let anyone down as I do what I think is best. At the end of the day I’m doing what I have to do and hoping like hell that it all works out in the end.
* * *
“I, Ren Gavino, prendo te, Alessandra Evelyn Quinn Salvatore, come mia sposa e prometto di esserti fedele sempre, nella gioia e nel dolore, nella salute e nella malattia, e di amarti e onorarti tutti i giorni della mia vita.” Ren states his vows, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he promises to love me forever.
He doesn’t falter or look unsure. He’s steadfast in making his promise to take care of me for as long as I’m willing to keep him. Only further proving that I’m making the right choice. I know in my heart that he’s worth the risk so when I’m asked to repeat those vows, I do just that.
“I,Alessandra Evelyn Quinn Salvatore, take you,Ren Gavino, as my husband and promise to be faithful to you always, in joy and in pain, in health and in sickness, and to love you and every day honor you, for the rest of my life.”
I let my tears run free down my face as my emotions finally get the better of me. My smile comes freely as I look at my new husband because I know without a shadow of a doubt that betting on him is a good choice. It doesn’t stop the slightly sick feeling in my stomach from churning over and over again, but most of that is because I’m so young still, not even eighteen yet, and also because a small part of me worries how my guys will react, even once I make them understand that things have to be this way. More than that though, I wish they were here. I want them to be a part of this. I wanted this moment to be one of celebration and love between myself and each of them men I chose to live out my forever with.
Even if I'd wanted to get out of this, I'm not exactly in the best situation to take down a mob boss and his goons. I will be one day, just not at this very moment. I can't make myself regret playing brain over brawn right now. Raffaele clearly had the paperwork fixed beforehand, so I'm just biding my time. I’m proud of myself for doing this and I trust in my gut that this man is one I’ll never regret binding myself to until my dying breath.
