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JOÃO
Fuck.
I pulled Ana’s blankets off her small body and gathered her in my arms, holding her close to my chest.
She rested her head against my shoulder and whined softly, rubbing her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“We’re going for a ride.”
“But, João!” Ana whined, drool rolling down her lips and onto my shoulder. She clung on to me, her fingers digging into my chest and back and her breath unsteady in my ear. “I want to sleep in my bed. Mommy is here.”
“You can sleep at Landon’s house,” I said, grabbing a bag and stuffing her clothes and some toys into it.
She shifted on my hip and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, whining into my ear about Mom.
But I refused to leave her here for another moment.
Mom had fucking brought her to buy drugs. Mom had fucking put her own daughter in danger.
I didn’t want Ana to see Mom high or buying fucking drugs.
That was shit—absolutely shit.
With Ana on one hip, I desperately tried to gather a shit-ton of her stuff without Mom noticing. But, fuck, single parents must’ve had it hard as shit. I kept tripping over things in the dark, Ana was weighing me down and making me shift my weight every few moments, and I couldn’t find shit.
I hated that I needed to do this, but I didn’t trust Mom with Ana anymore. She had lied to me about leaving the house. She had lied to me about buying drugs. She had lied to me about doing drugs again. And to her, it could be pain relief, but this was how she slipped back into something worse.
Who knew if she’d end up becoming a druggie again? Fuck no.
Ana wouldn’t walk around here with needles all over the place again.
“João, I wanna go back to bed.”
“Imani is over at Landon’s house tonight,” I said.
“Really?” she said, smiling hazily at me.
“Yes, really.”
After throwing her bag over my shoulder, I hurried out of Ana’s bedroom and to the kitchen. Once I snatched the pills from the table, I fastened a winter coat onto Ana, stuffed her feet into some winter boots, and stormed out the front door. I grabbed Ana’s car seat out of Mom’s car, slid it into mine, and strapped her into the car.
The light turned on in the kitchen, and Mom hurried out. “What are you doing, João?”
I shut Ana’s door and hoped that she’d fall asleep quickly.
“You lied to me, Mama!” I shouted at her, probably waking all the neighbors. “You told me that you didn’t leave this house and didn’t go down to Main Street to get more pills, and you fucking did! Ana told me.”
Mom screamed at me, violently trying to yank on my car door handle and waking up Ana. Ana sat in the backseat, kicking and screaming back, tears streaming down her face.
Mom reached for my keys to try to take them from me. “You can’t take my child from me!”
“You can’t bring Ana to buy drugs!”
Suddenly, Mom stopped reaching for the keys, stopped trying to get Ana out of the car, and stopped screaming. She stood in front of me, completely still, and hung her head low, mumbling something incoherent underneath her breath.
“You can’t put her in danger like that again,” I said, lowering my voice enough so Ana wouldn’t hear. “You almost got her killed once, Mama. I’m not letting it happen again. If you’re going out to get pills or to get high, you can’t bring Ana with you, and you certainly can’t leave her by herself at home.”
“What do you expect me to do?” Mom asked, tears welling up in her eyes.
