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My entire body trembled, but I forced myself not to let out a cry. I wanted to read Mom’s suicide note. I wanted to see why she had really done this to us, why she had really left. But at the same time, I didn’t want to read that thing because how could she be so selfish to leave Ana? I could understand why she’d want to leave me, but Ana? She was so innocent and still a child.
Five minutes later, when I finally calmed down, I looked back up into her wide brown eyes and tucked some hair behind her ear. “We’re going to stay at Landon’s from now on, okay? At least for a little while. It’ll be us and Poison.”
“And Imani.” Ana took my shoulders in her hands again. “Please, João! And Imani.”
The corner of my lips curled up slightly. “And Imani.”
She giggled, and the sound was the only thing keeping me fucking sane right now. She threw her arms around my shoulders and her legs around my waist, holding on to me so tightly. “Can I go get all my toys from our house?”
“We’ve already got them all in my car,” I said, nodding to the truck.
Ana grinned ear to ear, and I felt so guilty. “Yay!” she cheered.
I should’ve told her what had really happened to Mom, but I couldn’t think about it. One day, I would have to come clean and tell her that Mom loved her but that she wasn’t ever coming back to us. She was gone from this world forever.
“Why don’t you go say good-bye to everyone?” I said, picking her up and setting her on her feet beside me. I looked through the glass windows beside the front door and spotted the guys talking with Imani and her mother in the foyer. “We’re going to go get settled in because you gotta go to school tomorrow.”
After yanking open the door, Ana ran into the house with her pigtails bouncing and her mouth pulled into a full-on grin. I frowned at her departing figure and squeezed my eyes closed, blinking back the tears. She had no fucking idea what really was going on, and I hated it.
But part of me was jealous of my little sister because she didn’t have to feel this pain.
To her, everything was fine.
To me, my entire world had already fallen apart.
