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LANDON
Imani would barely look at me.
Not in the hallway this morning. Not in the cafeteria during lunch. Not in the one class I had with her. João would’ve told me to forget about her, that it was nothing, that she was now our property, and that she didn’t need to like us. But I felt differently about her. I had for a while now.
She wouldn’t even look at me now while we stood outside Redwood Academy, leaning against João’s car and waiting for the other guys to finish business inside the school with Akio. Tonight, we had plans with Imani. João had told me to make sure she didn’t leave school grounds, but—I glanced down at my phone and grimaced—I had a meeting in a couple minutes.
“Why can’t I leave?” Imani asked, the wind blowing a thick strand of curls into her face. She angrily pushed it away and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring toward the football field, where the varsity team practiced. “I have homework to do.”
I frowned at her, my chest tightening. I hadn’t wanted to make her angry. Friday night, I’d really wanted to answer her and tell her everything, convince her that it wasn’t her I didn’t trust, but that I had learned this behavior from my shitty father, that I couldn’t stop myself from thinking the worst.
But the closer I had gotten to telling her, the tighter my throat closed, the faster my heart raced, the more it’d felt like I was drowning in thoughts I knew weren’t true.
We weren’t even a fucking thing yet, and I was already ruining it.
Part of me believed what Dad had said the other night.
Nobody would want a no-good son of a bitchlike me.
It was my worst fear, and I’d ruined the one fucking chance I had.
“We have business tonight,” I said, wanting to come out with it.
“You, João, and Kai have business. Not me.”
“You are our business.”
After she rolled those big brown eyes of hers, she looked toward the school, where João and Kai exited through a side door—Kai hanging his head down, computer tight in his hands, and João walking toward us like he owned this entire school.
“Thank God,” she said when she saw them, kicking herself off his car and taking a couple steps away from me, making me feel even shittier.
I couldn’t man up and tell her how I really felt. I couldn’t get anything past my lips, except a measly, “I’m sorry,” which seemed to mean nothing to her. It hurt so bad—so fucking bad—that I couldn’t even put it into words.
I tightened my hands into fists and slammed one into João’s hood, denting it in and bloodying my knuckles.
Imani jumped back, placing her hand over her heart and staring at me with wide, frightened eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Finally here, João shoved me back. “Dude, what’s your problem?”
Clenching my teeth, I pulled myself back and headed toward the street without them. “Take the money out of my cut this month to fix your shitty car.”
“Where the fuck are you going?” João called after me.
I glanced over my shoulder to see Kai furrowing his brows, João gritting his teeth at me, and Imani looking—what seemed like—worried, but I knew better than that. She didn’t give a fuck about me, and she never would. I was someone that she could get off with and nothing more.
My throat tightened.
Nothing … fucking … more.
“I have shit to do.” I turned away. “I’ll catch up.”
“You can’t just leave her alone with us,” João said while Imani said, “Landon, you’re not going to leave me alone with them.”
But I didn’t have time to turn around. I was already late to my first damn appointment because I’d had to wait for them, and I didn’t want to miss the last half hour. It was the only fucking thing that might help me.
“Fucking asshole,” João muttered. “Get in the car, Imani.”
Instead of turning back like I wanted to, I forced myself to continue walking down the road, a fifteen-fucking-minute walk, until I came to her house. I didn’t come here often, rarely ever anymore, but I didn’t have any other choice.
