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IMANI
Early the next morning, Mom banged on my bedroom door. “Get up, Imani! It’s time for school. You’re going in early today to talk to Mr. Barnes about your grade and to see if you can redo your exam.”
I rolled over onto my stomach and murmured into the pillow, staring at the moonlight shining through my window. The clock on my nightstand read four fifty a.m., and I cursed Mom for getting me up when she did. Honestly, I didn’t know if I’d survive until the end of the school year.
And I wasn’t being a dramatic bitch. She was too much all the time.
Landon set his hand on my hip from behind and curled his fingers into my skin. My eyes widened slightly at the feel of him behind me, of sleeping in his arms last night, of being with him intimately for the first time.
And when I said intimate, I didn’t mean sex. Landon had cried to me last night.
Turning over in the bed, I stared into his light eyes and brushed my fingers across his cheekbone that was swelling slightly. Something had happened to him between the time I left João and him and the time he showed up in my room in tears. And I wanted to find out what it was.
“Morning,” he said, voice groggy.
My breath caught in my throat, and I wanted to smile at him so bad. But I was still annoyed with him for leaving me with João, so I pushed some of his dirty-blond hair off his forehead and studied his face.
“Imani!” Mom shouted, banging on the door now.
I rolled my eyes and sat up in bed. “Sorry.”
After a couple moments, Landon wiped his tired eyes, and then he stood up beside me and tugged on his clothes. The doorknob rattled again, shaking and trembling so hard that I thought the lock would pop right off. Mom had never once been this angry before, and it scared me.
“If you can’t open the door, then I’m getting the key!” Mom shouted.
My eyes widened, betrayal running through my bones. I couldn’t have any privacy. I couldn’t get one bad grade on a test. I couldn’t step out of line one fucking time, and I hated it so much. I had no freedom here, none.
I grabbed Landon’s hand and pushed him into my walk-in closet, throwing his shoes and his backpack in after him. “Find somewhere to hide, please, Landon.”
Just before I was about to close the door, Landon stopped me. “Imani, I—”
“Landon!” I scolded, my nerves getting the best of me. “Please. If she finds you here, she won’t ever let me see you again. She’ll homeschool me, and she won’t ever let me leave the house. Please, just …” I glanced over my shoulder to see the doorknob jiggle again. “Please …”
When my bedroom door opened, I slammed the closet door closed and hoped that he’d stay inside. If he didn’t … God, I was on the verge of tears already. I didn’t want to never see him or Allie ever again. I couldn’t lose the only people who kept me sane now.
Mom flicked on the main light. Brightness lit up the room, nearly blinding me.
I shielded my eyes away from her and groaned. “I’m up. I’m up.”
“Why didn’t you answer me?” Mom asked, hands on her hips and a pointed gaze on me. Her work badge hung from the waist of her skirt, her perfect picture glimmering under the light. “And why do you keep locking your door from me? Are you hiding something? You know we don’t keep secrets in this house.”
My chest tightened, and my stomach was in knots. “I’m sorry. I just got up. I’m not hiding anything. You know I don’t keep secrets, Mama.”
“And that bottle of your father’s wine that I found in your room last night? That wasn’t a secret?”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “It won’t happen again. I’ve been stressed out lately. I …”
“Stressed out?” Mom raised her voice at me. “You don’t know stress, Imani. Your father and I provide everything for you. You have nothing to worry about. If you lived how we did, growing up, maybe you’d be more thankful.”
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I quickly pushed it away. She hated when I cried. In her household, nobody cried. Everyone smiled. Everyone was always happy. Everyone did as she said.
Mom took one look at me, shook her head, and said, “Get ready. You leave in five minutes. I need to get to work, and when I get back, everything should be back to normal. You’ll be studying every night this week from the moment you get home to the moment you go to sleep. And we’ll see about you going to the football game with Allie on Friday.”
With that, she walked out of the room and back down the hall.
“And you’d best be leaving your door unlocked from now on.”
I stared at the empty doorway with tears flowing down my cheeks. So she or Landon wouldn’t hear, I placed a hand over my mouth to suppress my sobs. I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t. I didn’t have any more energy to give. She had sucked it all out of me these past eighteen long years.
