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It was before I really knew what I was, and in the process of discovering my dominance, almost every part of me had been broken. Like a shattered vase, obliterated into a million tiny pieces.
It’s not that I have trust issues, I don’t whatsoever. What I have a problem with… or difficulty with… is allowing myself to become vulnerable. Especially after there has been so much pain in my past.
For a split second I felt it, the moment where the weight of the world falls off your shoulders and onto someone else. That someone was Drake, the absolute last person I should have ever let in. Even if it was only just for a moment.
Instead of drowning myself in the bottle I went to the one person who I knew that I could find comfort in, or rather the one place that I could.
Only a few miles out of town is the one person on earth who I can always speak to and find peace. She may not respond, but in my heart, I know that she’s listening, and encouraging me with anything I choose to do.
I pull my Lexus up to the gravesite and put it in park, exiting my car and slowly approach her. I have to admit, as a kid I made a good choice when it came to her gravestone. I may have only been sixteen at the time, but my Dad made choices that led up to my mother being put in the ground in the first place. Even back then I wasn’t going to allow him to fuck anything else up. I knew what she would’ve wanted. After all, I always did.
I kneel on the ground, tracing my fingertips over the stone, trying to remember how it felt to be touching her skin instead of this rugged chunk of rock. I’d give up so much just to hug her one more time, to ask her the things that I should have at that age. Instead I ended up living with regrets, and so many at that. Regret because the last conversation we had was where I told her that I hated her and wished she was dead. Regret because I wasn’t one of those kids that told their Mom that they loved them every day. There were so many regrets… so many things that I will never be able to change and wish that I could.
“You’d know exactly what to say to me right now… and you have no idea how much I need it. How much I need you.”
Chapter 9
Drake
IleaveCaesar’safterthree more rounds of scotch, climbing into my Porsche Boxster and drive by Candace’s penthouse. I want to make sure she got to her penthouse safely. I sensed all the distress and sadness she carried like a dead weight on her shoulders, as I held her before she hiked up those solid walls around her again and left. I don’t see her car, and immediately make a U-turn, driving far above the city speed limit to the one place I know she will be.
Dawn breaks now as I park behind Candace’s car at the cemetery where her mother is buried. I find her sitting on the grass looking at her mother’s gravestone. She tips a near empty bottle of Gin and guzzles what’s left, then wipes the top of her hand across her pouty red lips.
“I knew I would find you here.”
She jumps, and spins to the sound of my voice, and sees me standing only a few feet away. “Drake! You scared the shit out me!” She slurs her words, but I can still make out exactly what she’s saying. Candace has always been able to hold her liquor, so to see her in this state is shocking.
I step closer to her, pulling her up against me, “You shouldn’t be out here alone, especially after you’ve finished a full bottle of Gin! Where are your fucking keys?” I can’t help but snap at her. She’s many things, but one thing Candace is never, is reckless. She’s being careless of her own safety. I fight the urge to throw her across my lap, hike up her skirt, and spank that delectable ass of hers so hard she wouldn’t be able to sit for a fucking week. Actually, screw a week. She doesn’t deserve to sit comfortably for well over a month for compromising not only her safety, but others. Imagine what would have happened if I didn’t show up and find her like this. She could have gotten back behind the wheel and... I don’t even want to think of the things that could’ve happened.
She doesn’t pull away. She just stares up at me and becomes still, her eyes a bit glossy. I know a little bit about her past – that her mother was killed when she was only sixteen years old, by a business associate of her father’s.
Candace starts to giggle then, swaying a bit. She’s blackout drunk, her voice a bit slurred. “I liked what you did at the bar, even though I shouldn’t. I see more between us than just kink. Sometimes I feel that my dominant side will eat away at my life until there’s nothing left of me. I don’t want to be the one holding the reigns all the time. I need more... I need someone to protect me like I protect others...”
I grip her slender arms to steady her. “What do you need Candace? It’s okay. You can tell me.”
She looks up at me, eyes unwavering before she whispers, but loud enough for me to hear. “I want the white picket fence... I want that boring life... and I want to have children. I’m so exhausted of keeping up my walls all the time. I don’t want a submissive to come home to at the end of every day. I need... I need someone to take care of me for a change. I need a dominant... I want the vanilla life, with the kinky sprinkles. I need you Drake... or maybe I don’t need you... maybe I want you. I want you and I shouldn’t.” Her bottom lip quivers, and suddenly she breaks down. Wetness spills from her eyes, and down her flushed cheeks. I wipe a tear with the pad of my thumb, dip down and brush my lips across hers, tasting her salty tears.
She flings her arms over my shoulders, as my tongue slides in between her lips, tasting her. My cock hardens instantly when she moans in my mouth. I press her to me, feeling how soft and vulnerable she is at this moment.
Her guarded walls come down again, but that is only because she’s drunk. I pull away, to see her eyes close, her head leaning back.
“Come on Candace. I’ll drive you home.” She whines a bit but clings on to me as I half carry her to my car, sliding her into the front seat of my Porsche.
I get her to her penthouse apartment, following her closely as she staggers into her bedroom, kicking off her stilettos. I switch the light on as she sits on the edge of her bed. I move closer, standing over her.
Her head falls back to look up at me, “Please stay with me tonight Drake?” She’s pleading with me.
My hard cock strains against the front of my pants, as I look into her eyes full of vulnerability. Candace places her soft cheek against my hardness. “I will beg for you, Drake. I will do as I’m told.”
I place my hand on the back of her head, caressing her beautiful long dark hair. I know that we as humans, act on our instincts when we’re drunk. But oh, how I want to see her on her knees, with her palms open on her lap for me.
My voice is low as I try to stay in control of my own feelings for her. “No Candace. Not tonight. You need to be sober and in the right frame of mind to decide if this is what you want.”
I lean down, pull her from me, and lay her down on the bed. “Close your eyes and sleep Candace.” I kiss her on her forehead as her eyes flutter and close.
I walk to the door and turn around to look at her before I switch the light off and leave her apartment. Every primal instinct is telling me to stay, but I know that I can’t. The only thing that gets me through leaving her tonight is knowing that she’s finally admitted that she wants to be mine.
Candace wants me, and I’ll have her.
