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Natalie
My brainand body are still reeling from what Vaughn just did to me, so it takes a second for the words to filter through the haze of sex clouding my mind. But then…
“What?”
He means not this minute. Not tonight. And that’s good, because I don’t want him to let me go tonight. He’s still inside me and already I want him again. Only the gruff apology in his voice warns this isn’t about tonight.
“I know it’s not what we talked about.” He tucks a bit of hair behind my ear. “I know it’s fucking complicated. But I’ve tried, and I can’t stay away from you.”
My heart does one of those little flips, because it’s what I want to hear. Just not what Ineedto hear. This thing between us is a temptation I can’t afford. Neither of us can, but for completely different reasons.
Carefully, he sets me down, keeping one hand at my hip as I find my footing. He untangles my tank top and pulls it down to my waist before helping me with the sleep pants and panties pooled around one ankle. How is this man so tender and careful with me, and so shut off and forbidding with everyone else?
I lean back into the wall with a sigh, but neither of us is ready to break the contact. The quiet intimacy. His jaw is rough with stubble beneath my touch, square and stubborn and beautiful. His fingers are light, tracing the divot at my navel. “Vaughn, think about what you’re saying.”
Turning his jaw into my palm, he drops a kiss there.
“I know this isn’t something we can keep. There are too many reasons we can’t go the distance. You want a life that isn’t dictated by the NHL, and I can’t afford to fuck things up here if I want a contract with Oregon next season.”
“I wouldn’t want you to.” I know what hockey means to him. What it means to anyone who’s made it to this level in their career. But I need to be as smart as he is, and remember that a life of being prioritized second to hockey is a life I can’t let myself live. Not even with a man who affects me the way he does. “I don’t want to talk about this. Can’t we take tonight and—”
“That’s what I’m saying.” His hand covers mine and pulls it to rest against his chest. Such a nice spot. “What if we take this time we have. Tonight… and all the nights until the season ends?”
My breath catches and I slowly shake my head. The risk to his career is too much. “What do you think is going to happen when the guys find out about us? Things are just starting to turn around for you with the rest of the team.”
“Honestly, I’m starting to think our chances of keeping this quiet might be better if we give in. I’m losing my shit every time I see you and think I can’t have you. Every time one of my teammates pulls you into a hug, pretending they don’t want anything more than to be friends—which is bullshit, by the way. And the way you’re looking at me. Baby, I fucking love it, but if anyone catches that look, we’re done.”
It’s so sweet the way he thinks anyone would be looking at me closely enough to catch whatever look I’m giving him. “I’m not sure how any of that changes if we’re together. My friends—just friendsand that’s not bullshit, by the way—are still going to hug me. And the way I’m looking at you? Well, no one is going to notice some look on my face, so maybe that’s not really an issue.”
He brushes a thumb along the back of my hand. “Inotice. And then we have to worry about them seeing the look onmyface too. Allie, telling myself I can’t have you when you’re right here is killing me. And after what we just did, I’m thinking you don’t love it either. So why fight it? Why don’t we enjoy what we have while we have it?”
How can he even ask that? “Because your career is at stake.”
He gives me that hint of a smile. “And I’ll protect my career. I will. No one has to find out about us.”
My pulse picks up. There’s something anxious and excited pushing at the walls I hide behind. There’s a whisper of hope winding its way through me.
I could have this. I could have him. For a few months and then he’ll be moving across the country and I’ll move on with my life the way I’ve always planned to. For me it’s a low-risk opportunity that gives me a taste of the one thing I’ve sworn I won’t take. The one man I’ve always wanted.
But for Vaughn… the risk is greater. “I don’t know.”
“No?” he says, that deep, buried smile emerging even more as he cocks his head at me, eyes gleaming with a new light. Oh God, that look. “Guess I should probably start convincing you then.” And he sinks to his knees.
Chapter 13
Vaughn
Iam one compelling motherfucker when I put my mind to it. And yeah, I may have put my mouth and hell, the rest of my body, to it a few times too. But truth? Pretty sure Natalie was convinced before I made her come on my tongue the second time and definitely before I had her panting my name in the shower. And by the time I dragged myself out of her place this morning, it wasn’t with that brutal sense of finality from yesterday.
It was with a sleepy smile and soft kiss. I’m still thinking about how nice it was on the plane before we take off for Pittsburgh when O’Brian drops into the seat beside me and ruins it.
“What the fuck, man?” I cough, cutting him a sharp look, expecting to see shrapnel from a can of Axe body spray littering his suit. Make that his wrinkled suit. And damn, how many times did this guy cut himself shaving today? He’s a train wreck.
“Sorry,” he groans as Popov and Diesel swear from the next row back and get up to move. “Bunny incident.”
The hell?
