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“I know he isn’t dating me to get to you, because he could have done it a hundred times already. He could have thrown me in your face at every turn. Taunted you with the dirty details from that night in Vancouver—”
Greg’s out of his chair so fast it falls over, his fingers in his ears as he sings, “La la la la…” at top volume.
Oops.
Slapping a hand over his mouth, I meet his panicked eyes. “Sorry. But my point is this, he didn’t do any of that. And if you really want to knowwhy him? It’s becauseI like him, Greg. A lot. I always have.”
The donut holes are gone and Greg’s coffee is empty. Clearing them from the table, he dumps them in the trash and props a hip against the counter. “So, what? Are you guys serious?”
There are so many ways I could answer him. Because the way I feel about Vaughn… yeah, it’s serious. More serious than it should be. But— “He’s leaving at the end of this season.”
“Oregon.” Everyone knows the plan.
I smile, because that’s what I need to do.
“But even if he wasn’t, I’m not interested in making the NHL WAG list. I’m not trying to guilt you or make you feel bad, but I’m through giving up my life because it’s not as important as someone else’s hockey career. Vaughn knows how I feel. He gets it. So with this thing between us…seriousisn’t an option.”
Greg looks like he just smelled rotten milk. “Let me get this straight… you’re saying you’ve got rules about guys like him.” He gulps. “You don’t dateplayers?”
“Normally, no.” Whatever that half-panicked, half-stricken look is, I don’t get it. “Um, you okay?”
He’s big and strong, sure, but the guy is a softy at heart, and I feel kind of crummy about what he’s been through in the last twelve hours. Whether my relationships are any of his business or not, this is my brother.
“Yeah, I’m fine. It just sounds familiar is all. Nat, I get why you wouldn’t be interested in the kind of life that comes with dating a pro. I know what it was like for you growing up. You didn’t have a choice in how things went down then, and it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to put yourself in that position again. You deserve to come first.”
He joins me at the table, nothing but sincerity and concern in his eyes. “But here’s the thing—and believe it or not, what I’m about to say has nothing to do with the guy you’re dating being Vaughn Vassar—you are playing with fire.”
I sit back. “What do you mean?”
“I mean if you want a life that isn’t dictated by hockey, then don’t date a hockey player. Not for one week and definitely not for the better part of a year. Don’t tell yourself it isn’t serious when it’s serious enough that you’ve been lying to everyone you know to keep it secret. When it’s serious enough that even with the kind of consequences Vassar has on the line, you still couldn’t stay away from each other.”
“Consequences that aren’t going to be an issue becauseyou’re not going to say anything.” I’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this. “Don’t test me on this. You know you don’t want that Easy-Bake Oven story getting out.”
He jerks back like I’ve slapped him. “Jesus, Nat, I’m trying to help you here! And case in point, serious enough that you’re ready to blackmail me with twenty-year-old dirt to protect your boyfriend!”
“It’s his career!” I shout back, guilt making me defensive. But I know he’s right. Mumbling, I add, “It’s that important.”
We stare each other down for a minute before Greg lets out a growl and gives me a crabby look. “I already told you I wouldn’t say anything. And I won’t. But listen, okay? Guys like Vaughn, hell, guys likeme—we like to win. The girl, the game, the fight. All of it. We thrive on challenges and get off on overcoming odds. And when we find something that matters to us, really matters, we are relentless. And if you don’t believe me, ask Julia howseriousshe meant to get about me. Ask her about the rules I broke and the plans she changed—because guess what, she didn’t date players either. But ask her how willing I was to let her go and then look at the ring on her finger and ask yourself if you want to risk letting fucking Vassar put one on yours.”
“We aren’t anywhere close to that,” I whisper, a new sort of tension building in the pit of my stomach.
“You sure about that?” Greg looks down at his hand, rubbing his thumb over his wedding band. “Because the way I see it, if Vassar is actually into you for you, every minute you spend with the guy is a threat to the kind of life you’ve been promising yourself since you were old enough to recognize how bad you needed to break free of mine. Nat, what if you fall in love with this guy? What then?”
I open my mouth to protest, to tell him it’ll never happen. That I’m smarter than that. But I can’t.
Chapter 18
Vaughn
Idon’t know what to expect when I get to practice that afternoon. Pulling into the cold gray lot, I sit in the car with the heat blasting for ten minutes, one fucked-up scenario after another running through my mind. Will I even make it into the locker room or will Coach have someone waiting for me on the other side of the doors, ready to pull me into a meeting to tell me I’m done?
The text from Natalie this morning said I didn’t need to worry. But it’s easier for her to trust Baxter than it is for me. Either way, I need to get my ass into that building and face the future.
Hefting my bag over my shoulder, I walk through the player doors and nearly shit myself seeing Coaches Adkins, Mateo and Channing huddled together at the foot of the stairs. Each wearing an expression darker than the next.
My gut turns to lead, but if this is how it’s going down, then so be it. It fucking sucks,but I can’t find it in my heart to regret what happened. Maybe that’ll come after they walk me out of here. Or when I’m hearing the score from the next game, but I’m not playing.
My eyes are glued to the unhappy trio, so I don’t notice Popov until he’s beside me, mumbling something about this being very, very bad around some heavy sighs laced with an Eastern European accent.
