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“What do you mean?” she coughs out, her hands coming together in front of her. “My friend. I told you that.”
I wave her off. “I know, your friend. What I want to know is which one. Look, I get that you don’t want to betray her trust. But you’ve got to give me more to go on. You’ve got to at least give me a chance to understand.” She’s already shaking her head, but I keep pushing. “I won’t contact her. Not unless you give me permission. But at least tell me her name and when this happened.”
“Her name doesn’t matter—”
“What do you mean her name doesn’t matter? George, this is the reason you don’t trust me. Itmatters.”
I try to be careful. To be as brutally honest and upfront as possible so there isn’t room for expectations to misalign… but from time to time, it happens. Still, I’ve wracked my brain trying to come up with a time I’ve been good and ashamed of myself—and I can’t. “You’ve got to give me the chance to explain, to figure out where the wires got crossed.Something!”
“Wires?” She huffs out a laugh, but there’s no humor in it. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so angry. So betrayed? “Isthatwhat you call it when you spend hours convincing someone what’s happening between you is real… When you take her back to your bed and swear you’ve never felt this way… When youghosther the next day? Just… crossed wires?”
Jesus.
“No.” The word is out before I can think about it. I don’t even have to. “I’m sorry, George, but your friend made a mistake.” It’s better than telling her that her friend is a liar, but I’m willing to give this nameless, faceless girl the benefit of the doubt. Which I’m feeling pretty big about until I see the thunderous look on George’s face.
“There was no mistake,” she says, her voice layered with a deadly certainty that has something cold and hard forming in the pit of my stomach. “She told you she was okay with it just being one night, and you told her no. That you wanted more. Youmade her believe it. And then the very next day she saw you pulling the same slick moves on someone else.”
Holy shit. This is bad.
“George, you need to listen to me. What you’re describing sounds awful. But it wasn’t me. I take relationships seriously and I don’t mislead women about them because it’s bullshit to treat people like that. So I don’t take girls out to dinner and I don’t take them to movies. The only events I bring dates to are when a teammate needs a favor.”
The look in her eyes is more than disbelief. It’s more than outrage on a friend’s behalf. It’s almost—Christ, it’s almost like I’m hurting her worse with every word.
“And I’m supposed to take your word over the word of a girl I know as well as I know myself?”
I wish she would. Because it’s the truth. But I’m guessing that’s not happening.
“Don’t take mine then. You can ask anyone. Ask the guys on the team. They’ll tell you what you’re describing isn’t me. Hell, ask the women I’ve been with.”
She blanches, and yeah, the idea of George around any of the bunnies I’ve spent the night with isn’t something that sits well with me either. “Or, Jesus,just let me talk to her. We can straighten this out with one phone call. One cup of coffee.” Because a part of me is expecting this girl to take one look at my face and say, “Wait,you’reQuinn O’Brian? My bad.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you, Quinn.”
My arms shoot out. “Why not?”
“Because she’s already seen you since. It was a few years later. And you didn’t remember her. At first she was pissed, but then she was relieved. I think at this point, she’d rather just put it behind her.”
I reach for George’s hand, needing her to think about this. To give me a chance. “Then where does that leave us?”
“Nowhere.” One word. Soft. Sad.
I’ve been trying to give her space, but now I’m right in front of her. Taking her hands in mine and begging her with my eyes to listen. “George.”
“I told you from the start what this was and what it wasn’t,” she says, her stubborn chin starting to tremble.
“Fuck that, George. You feel this too. I can see it in your eyes. Taste it in your kiss. Feel it in those little touches I don’t even think you realize are happening, but I live for. Those moments when we’ve taken all we need from each other, when we’re breathless and weak. Those are the moments when I know this isn’t just one-sided.”
She studies the floor in front of her feet, not saying a word.
Damn it. I can’t let this go.
“Can’t you please look at me and judge me for who I am today instead of on something that may or may not have happened years ago?”
Then something she said comes back to me, and the hairs at the back of my neck stand up.
“You said this was back in college… but that she saw me a few years later and I didn’t remember her.” Honestly, most of the hookups I’ve had over the years weren’t memorable enough that I’d remember the girl I was with… But what if— There’s no way. I don’t want to ask, except suddenly it’s the only thing that makes sense. “Was she in school with me, or did this happensomewhere else?”
Christ, I don’t like the look on George’s face, because it tells me I’m right.
