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Nora
Stupid,stupid,stupid!
Staring at the body-shaped smudge on our whiteboard wish list, I want to slap myself. Way to blur the lines in a relationship that should have been totally straightforward. And nothing like having a physical reminder that your actions have the potential to ruin carefully laid plans.
“It was just a kiss,” I breathe out, as Axel cruises back in, announcing, “Holy shit, that was some kiss.”
For an instant, the self-recrimination halts, and all I can do is stare in disbelief.
Otto’s tucked against his chest, rooting around against his shirt and making angry little noises that spur me to action, fixing a bottle for him.
Sure,nowI’m thinking about Otto.
Axel slides into the counter space beside me. “But I’m sensing we’re in agreement that it was a mistake.”
“I feel like ‘mistake’ isn’t strong enough a word. God, what’s wrong with me?”
“Ehh, don’t beat yourself up, my pheromones are workhorses. We were caught up in a moment, and things got away from us. But only for a minute.” He catches my chin with the crook of his finger and tips my head so my eyes meet his. So I can see that even though he’s making light of the whole thing, he’s serious too. “We’re friends. This is no big deal.”
I swallow. “Right. Neither one of us is in a place for something like— like whatever that would have been.”
Axel nods. Then adds solemnly, “It would have been epic. I’m that good.”
I cough, shaking my head as he takes the bottle with a parting wink and walks Otto into the living room.
* * *
Turns out,Axel is not really a retreat-and-let-settle kind of guy, at least when it comes to errant kisses. I’d thought maybe after what happened, we’d take a step back from each other, but no.
And not only is Axel determined to keep our burgeoning friendship on the same track it was before, but he’s not about to let me sweep this kiss under the bed like some awkward secret between us either.
Nope. The man is relentless about “desensitizing the subject.” Which is why, when I walk into the living room the next morning to find him already up with Otto, he casts me a quick glance and deadpans, “No. I am not going to kiss you again. Stop begging me with your eyes.”
Said eyes give him a hard roll, but inside, I’m grateful.
Whatever this thing is with Axel, it means something to me. I don’t have many friends, and I’ve never had one like him. I don’t want things between us to change.
And apparently, neither does he.
Chapter 12
Axel
I’ve never been much for faking shit.
In school, I didn’t fake sick like some of the kids because being sick meant missing practice or a game. And I wasn’t one of those douchebags who faked more interest in women than they genuinely felt to try and get them into the sack— didn’t need to and was too busy trying to make sure they didn’t get the wrong idea anyway.
But as of this week, I’ve become the fakingest faker of all fucking time. Faking that I’m fine with what happened between us. Faking that I think it’s a laughing matter. Faking that I’m not thinking about it every damn night and too damn often during the day.
But there it is.
That kiss fucked me up.
It made me want more of something I can’t have.
And somehow it managed to make me even more protective of my relationship with Nora. The non-kissing part. Like I realized how precarious our whole situation is, how close I came to maybe losing her. Us. Because for a minute, I forgot I’m not in a place where kissing sexy, beautiful women is on the table.
I can’t let it happen again if I want to hold on to her after she moves out and moves on to a job that fulfills her the way she needs. And I do. So, I’m all about faking it till I make it.
