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Axel’s already in the hall, Otto in his arms. We trade, and he brings my few possessions in for me. The futon doesn’t make it any farther than the wall in the living room next to the broken-down boxes from the bassinet and changing table we set up earlier. The rest of my stuff goes to the guest room. And it’s official. I’m moved in.
This is nuts.
Axel rakes a hand through spectacularly messy hair, giving the apartment a vacant look.
It’s only been about forty-five minutes since I left, but he looks like he’s aged forty-five years. Clearly, he’s beyond exhausted, and even though he told me to take as long as I needed to let my family know I wasn’t coming home and close things up at Diane’s, I feel a wave of guilt for not recognizing how tired he was before.
That fatigue is something I know all too well.
“Hey, how about I start opening the rest of the boxes and getting things set up around here,” I suggest, walking Otto over to the bassinet.
It takes Axel a beat longer than it should to answer, and when I look back over my shoulder, there’s something off about the way he’s turning his head. “I can… umm… start cleaning out my office.”
Nuh-uh. This guy is running on fumes. “Actually, you know what? Otto doesn’t need a nursery all to himself tonight. The office can wait. Let’s work on it together after we have a chance to see what all you’ve bought and maybe have a plan on what we still need. Besides, I’m thinking you could use a break.”
Axel closes his eyes for a breath, and when they open again—wow. The gratitude is real. “I love you.”
I roll my eyes. “Not mutual. Just trying to keep you alive until the check clears.”
I’m expecting a swift, sharp-witted comeback. Some ego-charged assertation that I’m totally into him. But that was the Axel from two days ago.
This guy grunts something incoherent and disappears down the hall.
I get started, more than a little curious about what I’m going to find. The bassinet has enough lights, displays, sounds, and accessories, I half expect it to be capable of docking with the space station. And the changing table? Really nice. But the burled walnut doesn’t exactly go with the décor. Strange.
The first box contains a deconstructed baby bath gift set and a dozen boob-shaped bottles from a brand I’ve never heard of but I’m betting cost more than all the bottles through all the kids at my house combined. I hit the jackpot with a bouncer in the second box. These things are gold. I’m just reaching for the third when I hear Otto’s soft grunt.
“Well look who’s awake,” I murmur, undoing his swaddle and picking him up to hold him against my cheek and chest. “Daddy bought you a bath set that feels softer than any towel I’ve ever used. Maybe we get some grub in you and plan for a nice—”
“Thank fuck!” Axel gasps, careening into the room, looking like he’s having a heart attack.
“What’s the matter?” I whisper gently, wanting to bring the energy down before Otto picks up on it.
His eyes flick from me to Otto. “Fuck, I’m the worst father already.” His voice cracks, and he looks like he’s about to cry. Which is not something I’m prepared to face. So, whatever has this guy spun up, I’m going to talk him down.
Not exactly part of the job description, but no matter how much Axel has rubbed me wrong over the last few months, he deserves some understanding after the blindside he’s had.
“Hey, you’re doing fine,” I say with my most reassuring voice, digging deep for the kindness that doesn’t exactly come naturally where this guy is concerned. “There’s a learning curve, but you’ve got this. And you’ve got m—”
“You could be a serial killer. A kidnapper. A cult member. One of those fuckers looking for healthy infant organs. And Otto’s arestrong.Look at me.He’s got the genes.”
I blink, torn between addressing the serial-killer thing and Axel’s seeming inability to refrain from stroking his own ego in public. “Umm—”
“You’re strapped for cash and desperate. You could be waiting for my eyes to close so you can steal him.” His voice cracks. “And I’d have let you walk right out the door with mybabyall because I wastired.”
Whoa.
And then, like he didn’t just suggest I might be a kidnapper, killer, or possibly into the infant organ trade, he leans in with pleading eyes. “No one is going to let me keep my son if they find out. Children’s Services are going to show up. They’re going to see I don’t know what the fuck I’m—”
I smush my fingers against his mouth.
Holy shiznit, this guy is going off the rails, fast. “Stop.”
He does. In fact, it almost feels like he’s swaying into my hand.
Jerking it away, I wipe my fingers on my jeans. He doesn’t even notice. But then again, he’s waiting for me to steal his child, or to fight off Children’s Services himself. So, bigger fish to fry and all that.
“Axel. Umm… how long has it been since you slept,exactly?”
