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I pour myself a mug and take the first sip. But like everything else, it turns my stomach.
“Damn, that hot husband of yours keep you awake last night?”
She’s making all kinds of meaningful eyebrow motions while sucking a ridiculously long noodle into her mouth. It’s enough to get a laugh out of me for the first time since Liam broke things off two weeks ago.
I nod, though it’s not for whatever illicit reason that face is suggesting.
I haven’t really slept right since I moved out of the city apartment and back into the one I’d shared with Misty a few miles from here.
Every night I lay alone in my bed, thinking about how Liam would pull me into his warm chest as we went to bed, how I’d drift off wrapped in the strength of his hold. How his head would rest against mine like he wanted to hold me as much as I needed him to.
I spend those midnight hours asking myself how I could have been so wrong about what was happening between us. Telling myself to stop waiting for him to change his mind and show up, begging me to come back.
I keep remembering the feeling of being in this thing together.
The laughing. The talking. The loving.
Except it wasn’t loving at all. It was sex. Filling what would otherwise have been a two-year dry spell.
“Hey, you okay?” Mary’s lost the goofy facial expression, and I’m guessing mine isn’t hiding anything.
My heart hurts. It’s supposed to get better. I’m supposed to care less. But that’s not what’s happening.
I don’t remember it being like this with Ray.
I wipe my eyes. “Sorry. Yes. I’m just—” Sad and stupid and crying over something I have no right to cry over. “Tired. A little emotional. I’ll be fine.”
Mary pushes out of her chair and rushes over to throw her arms around me in a big hug that feels… really nice, actually.
I hug her back. “This is why there’s nothing better than working with family.”
She nods and gives me a soft smile. “You sure you’re okay? Maybe you want to take a half day and get some rest.”
I rarely take days off. But today?
A day off wouldn’t be the worst thing considering I’m supposed to drive into the city this evening and box up the last of my things. Liam’s got some event this afternoon, and if I leave early, I can make sure I’m in and out before he gets back.
Add to that, it’ll set the stage for the “bug” I’m expecting to keep me from attending tomorrow’s home game. I’ve already had a conference call with our vendor in Australia once. And once my excuses run out, I’m going to have to come clean to my family and friends… and accept that Liam is not going to come around.
God, I miss him.
“I think you’re right, actually. I’m going to head home.”
She nods, concern etched across her features as I walk past.
Then, “Oh wait.” She points to the pastry. “Don’t forget this. It’s your favorite.”
I shake my head. “My stomach’s a little off. You’re welcome to it.”
I half expect her to spring on it, but she just stands there watching me go.
Definitely a good decision to leave, because I must look as bad as I feel.
* * *
I textLiam that I’m coming early, knowing he won’t be there.
I moved most of my things out while he was on the road, so there isn’t much left when I arrive.
