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How would they feel if it was their grandson unconscious in a pool of his own vomit? Or buried under a fallen building? Would that make them realize what monsters they were?
But I’d have to turn myself into a monster to show them that. I wouldn’t ever have put a kid’s life at risk, but part of me was willing to make a bluff of it, to push right up to the line between momentary fear and pain and actual trauma… and could I say for sure whatever I set up wouldn’t accidentally tip over?
I could try to blaze through whatever protections the Frankfords had in place around their own home, their car, probably anywhere they spent any time these days… There was a chance I could manage it, and fast enough to be done before the Assembly came after me. Iftheywere dead, this would all be over, wouldn’t it?
No, there’d still be the demons on the other side of that portal. What if the Frankfords were the only ones who knew how to control them?
But they couldn’t justget awaywith this.
My mind bounced back and forth in an exhausted circle. My rage had been simmering from the moment Kyler had called me to the hospital, and being angry was tiring. I just wanted to let the emotions out, to let them burn right through me and onto the people who deserved that rage.
The walls of the estate loomed by the right side of the road. I stopped at the gate and waited while it whirred open. Damon stirred as I parked by the garage.
“Hey,” I said softly. “We’re back. I thought you’d rather stay here for the night.”
He sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily. His jaw clenched as he restrained a yawn. “Sounds good.”
I undid my seatbelt, but then I stayed where I was. The shell of the car contained everything I was feeling right now. I had the sense that if I stepped out while my emotions were still churning like this, they’d somehow explode out into the open air.
“What doyouthink I should do?” I said.
Damon glanced over at me. “Probably get out and go to bed,” he said, but his eyes were serious. He knew I meant more than that.
“You thought I was right to go after Master Courtland like I did. To fight back. ‘Burn them all down,’ isn’t that what you said when we first found out what the Frankfords were doing?”
“Sounds like me,” he agreed. “Why? Do you have a plan for burning them down? Can I be there to strike the match?”
“If I did, of course you could,” I said. “I just… I want to hurt them for what they did to you. For what they did to all of you. But I know it’s not because I think it’s a good strategy or that it’ll really fix anything in the bigger picture. It’ll just make me feel like the world’s a little more fair.” Make me feel a little less helpless.
“Are you asking me for permission to go ballistic on their asses?” Damon asked. “I’m not sure I’m the person you should be checking with when it comes to moderation.”
“That’s why I’m asking you.” I dropped my hands into my lap, but they squeezed into fists there. “It was your mom this time. It’s my fault—”
“It’s not your fault,” he broke in sharply. “None of this is your fault. They’re the fucking villains.”
“Okay,” I said, although his words didn’t quite make the guilt go away. “We’ve got some fucking villains. Is that what you’d want to see me do—‘go ballistic’ on them? Would it make you feel better?”
Damon opened his mouth and hesitated. He wet his lips. “Rose… I’d gladly see those fuckers dead. You know that. Do I want you to be the one who does it? Not, like, defending yourself, but planning it out, calculated murder?” He groaned. “I don’t know. I want them to come at you and give you a reason to blast them to smithereens. I want a proper fight like when we were on the road, not this sneaking around.”
“We don’t have that,” I said. “We have this. But I can still fight.”
“You are fighting,” he said. “You have been fighting.” He was silent for a moment. “I don’t for one second think you’ve done anything wrong since this whole thing started, angel. I love the fire you get when you’re angry—I love you fierce. But I love the part of you that stopped to ask me this instead of burning them all down to begin with too.”
He stopped for a moment, his head bowing. “You’re a good person, Rose. You’re the kind of person who goes out of her way to see the good in other people. I’m damned lucky you are, or I probably wouldn’t be here with you right now.”
His words yanked at my heart. “Damon…”
“You know it’s true,” he said, meeting my eyes again. “I was a bastard to you when you first came back, but you’ve never held that against me. I don’t want you to lose that side of who you are. You do what you feel you have to do. I’d never stand in your way. I’m never going to leave, not unless you tell me to. But maybe one person aiming to burn everyone to the ground is enough? Maybe you should leave that approach to me, and you be you.”
I swallowed hard. He was right. I wouldn’t have asked him in the first place if I’d really been sure I should give in to that rage.
He leaned in to kiss me, and I melted into his embrace. There was a tenderness I wasn’t used to under his usual intensity. He kept his head close when our lips parted, his hand cupping my face.
“Thank you,” he said. “For asking me. For caring enough to be that angry. For letting me be a part of this crazy, fucked up, incredible life with you.”
A different sort of lump filled my throat. I kissed him again, hard. “I wouldn’t want to be doing this without you.”
“You’ve got me, angel. All the way to the end.”
