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“There’s something else we should talk about now, at least briefly,” I said. “The way the Assembly officials and the enforcers were talking to me—I used illegal magic on Frankford to get him to admit the truth. They could charge me with a crime just for tricking them into coming out to his property. And I don’t know how many people who aren’t even part of his faction might have the same prejudices against taking unsparked consorts. I could still be arrested. We could all still be in danger. I just want you to be prepared. If they come for you, I’ll fight them with everything I have. You can count on that much.”
“Rose,” Seth said softly. He stood as I did and tugged me into his arms. “We’ll get through whatever comes. We’ve made it this far.”
Jin reached for me next, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I’ll paint our way out if I need to,” he said with a wink.
“You painted us out of a lot of trouble already,” Ky said, coming over. He kissed me gently and squeezed my shoulder. “We’re a good team. We’ve got this.”
Damon had already slung his arm around my waist before Ky let me go. He hugged me to him. “Anything you need, you just ask and I’m there, angel.”
Gabriel waited to stand until the other guys had stepped away. He watched me more hesitantly now. “Come out to the garage with me? I’m not sure—I might need a little help on the stairs.”
I would have protested that he didn’t need to shut himself away from the rest of us in his apartment, but the plea in his eyes suggested he wanted my company more than my physical support. It might be good for us to talk away from the judgment of the other guys.
“Of course,” I said, and glanced at my other consorts. “You can crash in my room or any of the unused bedrooms. I’ll be back in a bit.”
Jin gave us a knowing smile. “No need to rush.”
Gabriel walked beside me out to the garage with the same careful steady pace he’d used on his way to the house. I’d have thought he was just taking his time if it hadn’t been for the sealed wound beneath the charred side of his shirt. His jaw clenched as he yanked open the door. I grabbed it from him.
“Go on,” I said. “You asked me here to help. Let me help.”
“I did say that, didn’t I?” he said, sounding both regretful and wry.
He took the stairs at about half his usual pace, but it wasn’t as if he needed to hold on to me or anything. By the time we made it to the top, a sheen of sweat gleamed on his forehead.
“Sit down,” I said as we came into his apartment. “Or lie down. You could get some proper sleep.”
Gabriel shook his head. “We should talk. More. I…”
He turned and pulled me into his arms. I clutched at him, burrowing my face in his shirt, breathing in his familiar mossy scent. Wishing I could pretend the last week and a half had never happened, that we were the way we’d always been. But I couldn’t. My eyes were already welling up. My chest hitched with a sob I couldn’t quite suppress.
“Rose,” Gabriel said rawly. He hugged me tighter, bowing his head next to mine. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t true. None of the things I said were true, except that the way I was seeing you fight back was scaring me. I’ve never, not for one second, stopped loving you. Iknowyou. I know that’s not you, not really. You were backed into a corner. I couldn’t think of anything else I could do to break you out.”
“But it is me,” I said around the lump in my throat. “I did those things. I hurt Master Courtland to find out what he knew. I wanted to hurt the rest of them.”
“Only after they hurt you so badly first. Only knowing how many other lives were at stake. I don’t blame you. I just didn’t want to give them the chance to push you even farther down that road.”
“We could have figured out something together. You didn’t have to try to do it all yourself.”
He paused for a moment with a bob of his throat. “I guess I felt like if anyone was going to make a move like that, risk what we had, it should be me. I’m the one who dragged you into this to begin with, back when we were kids.”
A startled laugh jolted out of me. I eased back to touch his cheek and look him in the eyes. “You can’t really be blaming yourself for all of this.”
“Your father trusted you before he found out you’d been hanging out with us. If I hadn’t drawn you in—”
Oh, my dear consort.
“Gabriel.” I traced my thumb over his cheek. “You have to stop beating yourself up for things that weren’t your fault. From the way my dad talked, I think he planned to hand me over to those demons pretty much from the moment I was born. And even if he hadn’t—do you thinkIdidn’t know what I was getting myself into when you invited me to join you guys running around the estate? I knew much better than you did how my family felt about unsparked people. I could have said no. But I didn’t, because I wanted to be there. You can’t make that your responsibility.”
He opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again. “Leaving you the way I did was my responsibility. I’ve got to take all the blame for that. Is there any way I can make it up to you?”
I leaned my head against his chest. My emotions were tangled up inside me, taut and aching. The best I could offer was honesty. “I don’t know. It might just take time for those wounds to heal. But I love you. I’m so happy you’re here. Don’t doubt that for a second.”
“That’s the most I could really ask for.”
He gathered me in his arms again, and for a few minutes we stayed there in silence, simply holding each other and enjoying that we could. Gabriel stroked his hand up and down my back.
“You know,” he said softly, “sometimes I can’t help trying to imagine what it would have been like if we could have come together without all the schemes and conspiracies going on around us. If you hadn’t left; if we could have kept growing up alongside each other and figuring out how we felt about each other like normal people do.”
