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CHAPTER1
TABITHA
Five Months Earlier - Age 31
The nauseaand cramping were like nothing she’d experienced before. Her eyes watered as she attempted to breathe through the pain. She wanted to walk over to the toilet and hurl, but that would defeat the purpose of the pill she’d taken earlier in the day. The second one following the one she’d received at her doctor’s office the day before.
She wouldn’t wish this pain on her worst enemy.
The cool rag she pressed to the back of her neck helped a little. Cooling her down as she tried to get her mind off of what had happened over the last several weeks. This wasn’t something she felt she could move past though.
Tabitha always knew she wanted to be a mother when she grew up. The idea of a big family had always filled her with joy. She thought her dream was going to come true when she got married. He made big promises. She truly believed she was getting her own happily ever after.
Ryan had been the perfect gentleman. He encouraged her dreams and loved the idea of her being a stay at home mom one day. The idea of her getting used to being a homemaker was an easy and simple one. She became a housewife within the first year of their marriage. He told her keeping the home was important.
Sure, she got a little bored at first, but quickly found a love for all things Pinterest and dedicated her time to making her home picture perfect. It was a dream. She kept the home and helped organize parties for the neighborhood, as well as his work.
Too perfect.
It was during their second year of marriage he started to raise his voice more. Apologies were quick to come, as well as lavish gifts. Tabitha didn’t realize he was paying her off at the time.
Shortly after, she started learning about the cosplay community online. The idea of dressing up as some of her favorite characters from her childhood sounded like a dream. It was also the perfect way to spend her extra time and take her mind off of being at home all the time. It gave her an escape.
Over the next few years, they had trouble getting pregnant. He blamed her. Called her a lazy housewife. Then told her it was because she would rather dress up in lame costumes than focus on being a wife and mother. She knew it was a lie. She worked overtime in the home gym to keep a good figure; she was far from lazy. How could the man she loved so deeply hurt her like that?
She let him use her body when she didn’t want it, when she wasn’t even in the mood. She thought if she just got through it, everything would be okay. If she just had a baby, everything would be okay.
As if a baby would fix things.
That was before he raised his hand to her. That was something she couldn’t handle. The verbal abuse she could ignore. She’d never backed away so fast as he twisted and punched a hole through the wall.
Still, she didn’t want to give up. He had been under a lot of stress at work. She made every excuse in the book for him. She questioned if it was her fault. Maybe she could do things differently. Maybe she could act a certain way, for him.
He started staying later at work and coming home drunk. Half the time, he reeked of someone’s perfume. She pretended she was asleep half the time, but it never stopped him. He’d shout and curse at her before telling her how much he loved her. Then he’d spread her legs and worry about himself finishing, regardless if she was in the mood.
He’d stumble through their bedroom door as he pulled his clothes off. Dropping them on the floor next to their bed for her to pick up in the morning. If she was on her side, he’d wake her up just enough for her to get on her back. All he cared about was himself.
The last time was the worst. He didn’t even bother attempting to wake her as she pretended to be asleep. He just pushed her to her stomach and moved her pajamas to the side. He didn’t waste time thrusting into her. She wanted to protest, to get him off of her. But he kept her hands pinned underneath her as he grunted next to her ear.
She kept her eyes closed and prayed for it to be over.
She couldn’t do it anymore.
Weeks passed, and she missed her period. She thought it was due to stress, but then, as she missed another… she knew it had happened.
The thing she dreamt of so much. She couldn’t handle the thought of bringing up a child in that home. Tabitha made an appointment with a doctor out of town, one that she knew would be discreet. She couldn’t let this get back to Ryan.
He’d been out of town for the last week on a business trip. He rarely left for work lately. She enjoyed the peace when he was away.
She draped the washcloth over the side of the sink and made her way into the spare bedroom, where she kept her costumes. The only thing saving her sanity was the online community she’d grown to be part of. She sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed her phone to finish editing her pictures for the latest brand deal.
Once everything had been saved and submitted, she cleaned up her things and packed them into the last box. She used to hide them away in the closet. Ryan hated that she had something that was just hers. He’d thrown away plenty of her costumes and ring lights, as if it would stop her.
“Is that everything?” Max crossed his arms in the doorway.
She nodded. “Everything else packed up?”
He smiled. “The movers are ready to go when you are.”
