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“It’s not. It’s mine—” Katy stopped talking when Levi reached out and squeezed her hand.
“It’s not your fault. Never think that.” When Katy wrapped her arms around his waist, Levi kissed her temple and held her tightly. He looked over when he heard Adelaide lay down the case she was rolling in and sat down on the armchair next to Katy.
Katy pulled back and looked him in the eye. “Okay, so Adelaide owns a mobile adult store. She’s come here because I asked her to help us choose some toys that we might have some fun with. I thought you’d appreciate being discreet about it rather than going into a store somewhere. And given we’ve got no idea what we’re doing, she can instruct us on how to use them properly, rather than just buying something random online.” She was rambling adorably and the relief of knowing he hadn’t screwed up their relationship too badly filled him. That was until thoughts ofthatmovie filled his brain and made him cringe.
“Um, okay,” Levi hesitated. “What sort of toys are we talking about?”
“I have everything available that you’d find in an adult store. Obviously, I’ve only got a few samples here and some new products that I can leave with you tonight, but if you find something specialized that I don’t have on me, I’ll order it in and deliver it to you. My most popular products are vibrators, plugs, cock rings, lube, and cleaners for the toys.”
Okay, this doesn’t sound half bad. Hella good actually.Levi nodded, smiling when with a hint of excitement in her voice, Katy asked, “What would you recommend for beginners?”
Adelaide’s friendly smile had him at ease. He was comfortable with her already. When she unzipped the bag, flipping open the lid, Levi couldn’t deny he was curious. Peeking inside he saw that it was packed full of neatly stacked boxes, satin bags, and bottles of all sizes. She moved a few of them around and lifted some out. “Okay, so if you haven’t played with toys before I’d recommend a starter pack of sorts; something for each of you.” She took out a smooth purple vibrator. “This is one of my favourites.” After describing all the features, she handed it and a few others to Katy who turned them on, playing with the different speeds.
“I like that.” Katy put the purple one down then reached out for it again, before pulling back.
“It’s okay,” Adelaide encouraged. “Play around with them, get to know them and how they feel. The more you check the products out now, the more likely it is you’ll be happy with your decision.” Seeing Katy handle the vibes of all different shapes and sizes made Levi want to toss her over his shoulder caveman style and carry her into bed, not leaving until she’d come so many times she couldn’t see straight. He discreetly adjusted himself while the ladies were absorbed in the different vibrators, pulling his hand away just as Adelaide turned her attention to him.
She smiled, this one knowingly. “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you. I’d recommend one of these for you.” She pulled out what looked like a silicone ring with a bullet in it. “It’s a vibrating cock ring. Safe to wear with or without a condom, depending on whether you two use them or not. As long as you’re using lube, there’s no pain getting it on or off. It can be used during masturbation, oral sex, vaginal, or anal sex.”Anal sex. With Connor.Heat flared in him, desire roiling low in his gut. Never mind the semi, he was at full-mast now. She handed it to him and he turned it over in his hands.What would it feel like to use it with them?“It’s intended to be snug. It’ll delay orgasm but not prevent it…” Adelaide kept talking but Levi’s thoughts had drifted. The what-ifscircled around his head just out of reach, taunting him. The thought of losing Katy almost killed him. He wouldn’t hurt her, but his absolute visceral reaction to even the thought of what sex with Connor would be like, had him sucking in a breath staving off the light-headedness.
When there was silence, Levi looked up at both of them. “Levi, are you okay?” Adelaide asked, her head tilted to the side. It was as if she had him under a microscope. The room suddenly became too hot and he wanted to flap his collar just to get some damn air flowing. He could hammer nails with his boner, and he was sure she could see straight into his head and the dirty fantasy highlights reel he had spinning around in his psyche.
“Yeah, um,” he stalled. “I like this one.” He picked one of the random cock rings and thrust it at her.
She took it and looked around the room, her gaze snagging on the pictures hanging on the wall. She studied them intently before doing a casual perusal of the rest of the open area. She again paused at the back door. He knew what was there; Katy had complained more times than he could count about his and Connor’s thongs being left near the door. “You’ve got a beautiful place. Did you renovate it yourselves?” The random subject change away from sex toys had Levi reeling, but it hadn’t fazed Katy. She filled Adelaide in on what they’d done, finishing with the wall in front of them.
“You know how a place suddenly feels like home when you’ve got all your stuff unpacked and in the right spot. That’s what it was like when we put our photos up.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I can see.” Adelaide nodded and her gaze bounced between the two of them. Pausing, she picked up another box and flipped open the lid. “Okay, the final toy that you might want to consider tonight is an anal plug.” Lifting it, she showed them the array of five different sized plugs, the largest one easily the size of his fist. She selected that one and held it up, Levi’s eyes going wide. With a grin, she added “This is for experts, not you guys. In fact, the only one that would be appropriate for you is this small one.” She set it aside and picked up a plug that was a little thicker than his thumb. Neither he nor Katy spoke. Levi dared not look at her either. He couldn’t bear it if she was horrified. Adelaide launched into a description of why they might want to explore anal sex and how to prepare for it. With every word she spoke, Levi’s breath quickened and his heart pounded. Closing his eyes, he tried to get his over-eager dick under control, but instead couldn’t help but imagine Connor spread before him, Levi’s fingers—or better yet, his cock—sinking into his depths.
“If one of you wears it while having sex, it will simulate a threesome.” You could have heard a pin drop in the room. He couldn’t even breathe, but unable to stop himself, Levi swept his gaze over to Katy, staring at her wide-eyed as she flushed but turned away. Guilt hit him with the force of the five-thirty express from the city. Here he was imagining being with Connor when his beautiful girl was sitting next to him. Self-doubt and disgust in himself and his lack of consideration for Katy gnawed at Levi, deflating his tenting erection quickly.
“I’ll go get my purse,” Katy said, suddenly breaking the silence and racing out of the room. She had him scrambling to compose himself. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he could feel Adelaide’s eyes on him. He knew she was watching them, her gaze assessing him. Adelaide placed a gentle hand on his arm, stilling his movements. In a quiet but confident voice, she murmured, “You know, Levi, there’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to figure out something that’s got your head spinning.”
“Yeah, I….” He didn’t even know how to respond. She was clearly good at reading people—she’d managed to latch onto his secret desires pretty damn quickly. He knew if he tried making up some bullshit excuse for his reaction to the butt plugs, and how the idea of a threesome tempted him like nothing else, she’d see straight through him.
She continued, “Being in here with the two of you, it’s obvious. Looking around the room, I can tell. Look, Levi. Really look at who is in front of you. Reach out and grab hold or you won’t find your happiness. None of you will.”
“Katy and I are solid. We’ve had a rocky week, but we’re strong enough to survive a few bad days.” Levi wasn’t sure if he was explaining it to Adelaide or trying to reassure himself. A bit of both, perhaps.
“Yeah, I know you two are.” She gave him a small smile. “But there’s more to you than that. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourselves.” She leaned in and squeezed his arm before dropping her hand, whispering, “Bye, Levi,” before moving over to where Katy stood in the doorway. He watched in stunned silence as they spoke in hushed tones and she hugged his girlfriend and made her way to the door, letting herself out.
When the door clicked shut, Katy asked quietly, “Was that okay? That was fun, wasn’t it?” The uncertainty in her tone wrecked Levi, utterly gutted him. She was usually so confident, but not then. He’d been so self-absorbed, so selfish that he’d been blinded to Katy second guessing herself, and he hated himself for it. Levi couldn’t keep the distance between them anymore. Taking her into his arms, he nuzzled her hair, breathing her in. His uncertainty, his inability to get his head in the right place melted away, and he held her tighter, wanting—no needing—the connection with her.
Levi whispered, his voice rough, “You did good, sugar. I love you.”
“So, you wanna head out and grab a late movie?”
“You don’t want to try what we bought?” he asked, confused.
The grin she threw his way was wicked. “My toy needs charging. Few hours and we’ll be sweet.” She nodded towards the door. “Come on, let’s go.”
The stars in the night sky were bright. They always were in that quiet stretch of white sandy beach on the Broadwater. Levi shifted the take-home packs of ice cream, the remnants long since melted, and stretched out his leg. They’d ended up skipping the movie in favour of dessert on the beach. They’d walked the length of the kilometres’ long path, finishing the decadent mango and double chocolate tubs.
Now, wrapped in a blanket, holding Katy in front of him, Levi looked across the smooth waters. On the other side of the inlet lay The Spit, a long peninsular protecting the Broadwater from the pounding waves of the Pacific. Beyond that to the south, the towers of Surfers Paradise lit the night sky. To the north was South Straddie, a giant sand island covered in lush forest that lay dark in the pre-dawn. Katy shifted, having long since fallen asleep in his arms and Levi leaned down to kiss her, breathing in the sweetness of her skin. As he sat there, watching the tide change and the water lap against the sand, Adelaide’s words replayed over and over in his head. “Look, Levi. Really look at who is in front of you.” She wasn’t fooled when he’d tried to play off her comment. It scared him knowing she could read him so easily. Was he really that transparent?“Reach out and grab hold or you won’t find your happiness. None of you will.”That’s what scared him. Wanting the impossible didn’t make for a happy life—that much he was certain of. All he had to do was look back on the last week, and it was obvious. But what was he supposed to do?
SIX
Connor
