Page 21 of Delectable

Nerves skittered through Connor as he stood at Miranda’s front door. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to be there or not. No, that wasn’t quite right. He liked Miranda. She was sweet and funny, a great girl, but he wasn’t sure how far to take things between them. They’d only been on a few dates, so it wasn’t like they were in a relationship and they certainly hadn’t talked about being exclusive. But it still didn’t sit right with Connor to start anything physical between them when he was unsure of how in to her he was. And knowing how fucked up he was about what’d gone down after Levi’s party and the strain it’d put them under was doing his head in. He couldn’t focus long enough to make a decision. Was he happy to go out, leaving Katy and Levi to indulge in their shopping expedition? Or did he want to crawl into a hole?God, what if they ask for a tutorial?What was I thinking?It didn’t matter though. There was no way his crush on his best mate was reciprocated—Levi had made it clear enough when he’d stumbled back off the bed and looked at him horrified—and as if it would have been anyway. Connor had to suck it up and move on.

He raised his hand to knock, but before he connected with the dark timber front door, it swung open. “Hi,” Miranda greeted him. “Were you planning on standing out there all night or were you gonna knock? I don’t bite you know.” Her smile turned wicked, and she wiggled her eyebrows. “Most of the time.” Connor couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hey, Miranda. Thanks for the invitation.” He held up a bottle of wine. “Wasn’t sure what we were ordering for dinner, but this is a good one.”

“I’ve cooked. We’re not ordering.” She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Come on in, and you can pour me some while I finish dinner.” He followed her through the living room into the kitchen, and she pointed out the cupboard where the glasses were to him. Connor poured two while Miranda finished cooking on the stovetop, then dished up two plates of grilled chicken, salad, and crusty bread. The crisp white he’d brought over was a pretty decent match to their meal.

Conversation flowed easily while they ate and long after they’d finished the cherry chocolate mousse, they still sat at the table talking. He was having a good time, and that surprised him more than it should have. Miranda was great; he liked being around her. He could definitely see them being good friends, especially with so much in common—music, food, movies, and she was a runner too.

“Want another glass? You don’t have to drive home tonight, do you?” Miranda went to the fridge and pulled out another bottle, and Connor stood as she left the table.

“You want me to stay the night?” he asked, uncertain of how he should answer. His feelings were still up in the air, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her.

Returning to the table with the bottle, she looked up at him. “Hey, I like you. I think you like me. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to hook up. I’m good with casual for the moment, but if it turns into more, I’m fine with that too.”

Connor smiled, relief coursing through him. He might not be ready to hand her his heart, but a night with her certainly wouldn’t be a hardship. Reaching out, he took her hand and squeezed. “I’ve had fun, Miranda.” He’d barely uttered the words before she was stepping forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her mouth to his. Connor swiped his tongue across her bottom lip, and she opened to him. Deepening the kiss, Connor surrendered and enjoyed the touch of the first woman he’d been with in far too long. He directed Miranda to the couch and guided her down onto the soft cushions. Propping himself up so his weight didn’t crush her, Connor looked at her and found himself wishing he was with Katy. He closed his eyes and forced the thought from his head. He couldn’t go there—it wasn’t fair to Miranda, and he had to face the fact that Katy would never be his, that Levi wouldn’t be either.

Connor leaned in again and nipped Miranda’s throat before kissing a line down to her collarbone and back up to her mouth. He let out an “oomph” when Miranda pushed him off her and straddled him, tugging off his Henley and tossing it aside. Chest to chest, arousal flared inside him. Kisses and teasing licks against his throat had him shifting, rocking his hips to get some friction against his painfully rigid length.

Miranda hopped off him and slid to her knees before him. After pulling open his button fly, she curled her fingers around him. Her hand on his dick, even with the thin barrier of his boxers between them, had Connor thrusting into her grip. He hissed when cool air hit his heated skin as she yanked down his underwear exposing his cock. Her startled, “oh,” had him cracking open his eyes. She was eyeing his piercing thoughtfully, biting her bottom lip. He was beyond the point of caring whether she liked them or not—if she wanted his Prince Albert gone, he’d take it out. He’d do almost anything as long as she put her hands back on him.

Connor arched into her grip as she curled her hand around the base of his cock and stroked him, leaning down to tentatively lick along his length. A strangled moan left his lips when hers closed around the head of his shaft, and her tongue flicked the ring protruding from it. Soft fingertips trailing down under his sack, brushing up against the barbell piercing, had Connor shuddering. He involuntarily punched his hips forward as Miranda massaged his balls, forcing himself deeper into her mouth. Connor balled his hands into fists and fought off the orgasm threatening to erupt from him, and the raw need to pump into the hot, wet cavern engulfing him while he chased his orgasm. He had to be gentle, logically he knew that—his piercing could easily chip a tooth—butgoddamnhe was so close. So. Fucking. Close.

Picturing the old lady fromThere’s Something About Marypulled him back from the edge—the dog licking into her mouth was enough to make him gag, to pull him back from teetering on the precipice. A memory of Katy’s reaction when he’d told her and Levi how he stopped himself from coming popped into his head. Connor gasped, an electric shock pulsing through his body with the thoughts of the beautiful woman he’d been lusting over for years and her hot-as-sin boyfriend. Images of them filled his mind’s eye, flashing before him. Katy’s smile. Levi’s laugh. Katy dancing as she cooked. Levi lifting weights. Katy sleep ruffled and in need of coffee. Levi sprawled out, naked on his bed, fast asleep. Connor moaned, the pictures of them turning erotic: Katy kneeling between his legs sucking his cock and palming his balls; his lips on her pussy, licking and spearing inside her with his tongue until she came, while Levi pressed into him from behind, sliding his cock deep inside, anchoring Connor with strong arms against his broad chest.“Fuck, Lee. Gonna come.”His balls drew up tight, the tingling heat at the base of his spine unstoppable as his cock throbbed, cum erupting from him in thick white ribbons across his abs. The waves of Connor’s orgasm crashed over him and he cried out.

“Lee, Katy.”

Where a second before there were warm bodies pressed against him, cold air filled the space. Boneless and still humming from his epic orgasm, Connor cracked his eyes open and tried to figure out where they went. But Miranda standing rigid and shaking had him scrambling to sit up. She looked fucking furious—her jaw was clenched, and anger flashed in her eyes.

“Get out of my house you piece o’shit.”

“What?” He blinked, totally surprised at her outburst. What had he done wrong?

“I won’t be some ruse for you to hide behind.” She pointed to the door and in a deathly calm voice added, “Get the fuck outta my house.”

“Huh? Ruse? What’re you goin’ on about?”

“You didn’t even feel me stop touching you, did you?” she spat. “You were so damn wrapped up in your fantasy that you didn’t feel me let go and get up. You yelled out Levi and Katy’s names for fuck’s sake.” Her voice shook with anger as she glared at him, disgusted. “You wanna fuckbothof them. You can’t even make up your mind on who you want. I won’t be the girl you’re with for show while you’re lookin’ to fuck more than one person on the side, especially not my friends. Get outta my house.”

Stunned, he sat on the couch, his mind furiously ticking over everything that had just happened.What the fuck?He’d heard their names. No, he’dsaidtheir names. Confusion and shame welled up inside him like a lead balloon. Seeing her shaking with fury, her face red, eyes sparking with anger, made Connor’s gut flip sickeningly. “Fuck,” he cursed, shaking his head in self-disgust. He hadn’t meant to hurt her.Why the fuck did I start something with her when I knew I was so fucked up inside?He scrubbed a hand over his hair.

“Miranda, I’m sorry. I... I’m so sorry,” Connor said quietly. He picked up his clothes and turned to her, ready to apologize again. He didn’t want her to change her mind—he didn’t deserve that. But he did want to try to set things right, to tell her he was an arse.

“Don’t, Connor. Just go.” She sounded tired, resigned. He nodded and, head hung low, walked out. Palming his keys, he considered driving home, but he promised Levi he wouldn’t go back there until the morning. There was no way he would risk walking in on them testing out what they’d bought. No fucking way would he be able to hold himself back.

Driving, he pulled into a car park at the beach. He hadn’t had a destination in mind while he drove; he just found himself there. Just north of Surfers Paradise it was quiet. The place drew him in, helped him think, helped him make sense of the mess his heart had become. He looked out over the glass-like surface shimmering in the light of the three-quarter moon. Connor sat down on the sand, his arms wrapped around his legs. One thing was obvious to him—he didn’t have a crush on his best friends; it was a whole lot more than that. So what were his options? Did he try to ignore it, keep living with them like the third wheel he was? It’d destroy any chance of him ever finding happiness. There was no way he could let himself become intimate with another person after treating Miranda so badly. And where would that leave him? He was resigning himself to becoming a cat lady if he pulled away from everyone. He could move out, get his own place, and put some distance between them. But even that would only work until he saw them again, until the craving reignited within him, leaving him shaking and desperate for a fix. Like a damn addict, he’d keep going back for more until he was a shell of himself. He deserved better than that—he’d done his time in hell, and he wasn’t going to live it again if he could help it. If he left, started afresh, could he be happy? Could he walk away, once again leaving the two people who meant the world to him?

Connor squinted, pulling down his shades to block the sun’s morning rays as his limited options rolled through his mind on an endless loop. The warmth of the dawn sun hit his skin and Connor stretched his aching muscles. He’d been there for hours, mesmerized by the lapping water, working through the thoughts bouncing around in his head and warring with his heart. He still didn’t know what to do, and the uncertainty was like an anvil on his shoulders.

Connor went back to his car to get his sneakers from his gym bag and change into a pair of shorts. Setting out, he jogged along the boardwalk, dodging the early morning crowd of people. Dog walkers, surfers carrying boards and personal trainers working out with their clients dotted the paths. But Connor ignored the lot, trying to get some clarity.

He was lost in his own world until, “Yo, Con, wait up,” broke through into his thoughts. He recognized that voice. Spinning around, he saw Katy’s cousin Nick, and his best mate, Mike, catching up to him.

“Hey, guys. How’s it hangin’?”

“Good, mate, you?” Nick answered.

“Fuckin’ dandy.” Connor scowled, kicking himself for being a dick.

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