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Connor’s phone chimed with an incoming message. He was going to ignore it until Katy motioned him to get it. When he saw who’d sent it, he grinned. His cousin, Ford, was bringing his partner to the Gold Coast for a holiday. After close to a decade, he was going to see his only living relative—Ford’s parents didn’t count. They weren’t Connor’s favourite people in the world. Stuck up and with major superiority complexes, Connor steered clear of his father’s sister and her doctor husband wherever possible. It wasn’t hard when they were in the UK, and he was on the other side of the world. How his cousin ended up being such a great guy was beyond Connor, and even though there was nearly a ten-year age gap between them, they’d always been mates.
Katy linked arms with him and added, “Come on, let’s head home. You can tell me all about why you’re suddenly as excited as a puppy dog on the way.”
EIGHT
Connor
Two weeks later
Athud sounded in the dark and Katy swore. Then, some rustling and the closing of a door.
“What’s up, Cupcake?” Connor mumbled into the pillow. He missed her naked body pressed against him already. After his gig the night before, he’d spent hours tasting and worshipping her body, taking turns with Levi to pump into her. Sandwiched between them, her leg hooked over Levi’s waist, they’d made love for hours, he and Levi staving off their own orgasms to see how many they could give to Katy. He’d counted four before he’d lost it when Levi was driving into her and Connor shifted, inadvertently coming into contact with the other man’s dick. Both slicked up with Katy’s essence, they’d ground against each other momentarily, sliding in an erotic dance. Katy’s tight, hot centre, her cries and the shudder she’d let loose when they’d both connected and prodded her opening had Connor gritting his teeth and caving into sensation. Rutting against them both for only a moment, Connor’s orgasm swept through him like a hurricane, making him spill his seed into the condom sheathing him. Hearing Levi’s moans joined with Katy’s higher pitched cries had another pulse erupting from Connor. His choked cry added to the guttural groan Levi let loose, and he watched as Levi fisted his cock and pumped, painting them with his come as he hurtled off the edge, riding out his release with heaving breaths.
Another dull thud and Connor’s sleep-hazed mind turned back to what had woken him. Katy.
“I just tripped. This room is too small for all our stuff. If I can find my sneakers, I’m goin’ for a run with a few of the girls, and then I have to duck into work for a while. I’ll be back in a few hours. You two stay right where you are so I can join you when I get back.”
“Mmmhmm,” he mumbled, leaning into Katy’s kiss as she hovered over him, before snuggling back into the soft pillow again. With one eye open, Connor watched as she walked around the bed and kissed Levi’s temple.
Running her fingertips down his cheek, she whispered, “He’s still wiped out too.”
“Mmm,” Connor half responded, unable to resist the pull of sleep.
A light breath fanned his face, and soft lips brushed against his own. Warm, wet glides of his open mouth against Katy’s, their tongues touched, stroked. But this kiss was different somehow. Then it hit him.Oh fuck.The scratch of stubble teased his cheek, and Connor moaned softly, pulling Levi closer. As every hard inch of the other man’s body pressed against his own, Connor deepened the kiss, going from zero to sixty in a heartbeat. Fire burned through him, and Connor gasped, Levi nipping his lip. Running his hands over Levi’s chest, he mapped every ripple of muscle under his palms. He flicked his fingertips over Levi’s erect nipples, causing the other man to buck his hips and moan. Knowing he could do that to him—damn, what a turn on. Warm skin, he knew from endless months of staring, bore a natural golden tan, and taut muscle had Connor diving in for more. He’d dreamed of this—of being able to touch Levi too, to kiss him and love him. Of there being no barriers between them.
Connor ran his hand down Levi’s back, and over a sensitive spot. Levi shivered and Connor hummed, insanely pleased with himself. Sliding lower to the other man’s ass, Connor grabbed a handful of the perfect globe and pulled him closer, rocking against him. Like Levi, he was steely hard. Levi’s name on his tongue was more a moan, animalistic in its sound as it was ripped from Connor’s chest when he ground against his best friend.
But Lee’s reaction—his hard shove—had Connor nearly falling off the bed. He was stunned. Utterly floored. One minute he was in his arms making out, and the next he was frantically grasping the sheet trying to stop himself landing on his arse on the floor. Levi staggered backwards off the mattress and, fell over his own feet, hitting the wall. He plastered himself against it like a spooked animal about to rear.
“Connor, what the hell? I’m asleep and you’re kissin’ me?” he yelled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. That one action—the one where Levi wiped away the only evidence that Connor had been connected with him—shattered him. A moment before, the heat that’d bloomed in Connor was bright, but now it was devastating, like a wildfire that left everything in its wake charred beyond recognition. Dead. Rejection seared him, a cruel twist of fate that killed off any hope of continuing not only his friendship with Levi, but what he had with Katy too.
It was over.
Done.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, blinking back tears. Shifting off the bed, Connor backed out towards the door. Searching for his clothes, which—fuck my life—were at the opposite end of the room, Connor motioned to them. “Go back to bed. I’ll get my stuff and leave, give you some space.”
“Wait.” Levi held his hand up. “Gimme a minute.” Connor shook his head and turned, about to walk out the room. Absolutely gutted, and angry at being so fucking stupid as to fall for his best mate, he swiped at the tear drop that fell to his cheek.
“You moaned my name like you want me. Do you?” His tone was harsh, and as much as Connor wished it wasn’t accusatory, it was. Humiliated, Connor wanted to crawl into a hole and hope the world forgot him. Instead, he leaned his shoulder against the door jamb, still facing away from Levi. “Forget it. I should have pulled away as soon as I realized it was you. I’m sorry.”
Footsteps on the hardwood flooring told Connor that his friend was pacing. With every pass, the cool breeze Levi left in his wake, tormented Connor’s naked body. Levi was close enough to touch, but as much as he yearned to comfort him, Connor knew from the pacing that he was riled up. And there was no way Levi would let him anyway. Connor knew in his gut he’d never touch his best friend again. They were forever past that point.
“I don’t think I can do it.” Levi’s words echoed through the room like the crack of a gunshot, piercing the remaining shreds of Connor’s heart. His legs nearly buckled underneath him. He knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it easier to hear. That was it, the end of everything he’d held dear. He was about to be tossed away again, like every other time someone was supposed to love him. First, his mum—not that she’d wanted to leave, but the cancer hadn’t exactly given her a choice—then his dad, who hadn’t even had the courage to fight for him, drowning himself in a bottle, and then drugs to numb the pain, all the while letting Connor mourn alone for not one, but two, parents. Levi’s parents had taken him in, but only because they were too good to let him go into a system that would have spat him out a few years later. And then, when he’d finally found a home with his brothers- and sisters-in-arms in a hellhole, Rob had upped and died. The only two people left in the world who gave a shit about him were Katy and Levi. And his stupidity had just destroyed that.I’m a fucking idiot.
The crushing pain in his chest had Connor struggling to breathe.Oh God, he’d just lost everything. A choked sob left him, but he bit it back just as quick. Nodding his response to Levi’s comment, Connor cleared his throat in a futile attempt to hide the devastation in his tone. “I get it. Tell Katy I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her later today. Explain, you know, so she understands that it was my fault.”
Levi’s hand on his arm had Connor trying to shrug away, but it was no use. Connor found himself spinning to face the other man. Exposed, vulnerable and raw, he silently begged Levi not to hurt him even more. “No, that’s not what I meant.”
Connor’s silence at Levi’s words wasn’t because he didn’t want to talk. He couldn’t. If he had any hope of not breaking down into a sobbing mess, he had to keep his mouth shut.
“I feel it too. Whatever it is between us. I always have, and I dunno how much longer I can keep denying it.” He sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. “But I’m terrified.” The raw honesty in Levi’s gaze, in his words, stripped Connor bare. He reached out, but when Levi jumped back like he’d been stung, Connor let his hand drop. The sharp stab of pain that accompanied Levi’s move had Connor lowering his gaze—Lee’s admission didn’t mean he’d ever act on it; moving out of his reach was to be expected. He had so much to lose with Connor just being in the same room as them; it wasn’t like he was just going to flip the bird to his responsibilities. Not the Levi he knew. As much as it killed him, he wouldn’t want Levi to change.
Levi sat down on the bed, his knees spread and elbows resting on them. A slightly different pose and he could have beenThe Thinker.He was certainly perfect enough to be immortalized in a sculpture.
“I’m scared I’ll lose Katy.” He looked up at Connor, fear and desperation written on his features. “I can’t live without her. She’s the most important thing in my life. But I can’t… you….” He scrubbed his hands over his face, keeping them there while he mumbled, “I want the same thing with you that I have with her, but what if she’s disgusted with me, with us?”
Hope, fierce and bright, like a ray of sunshine breaking through summer storm clouds bloomed in Connor. “She won’t be.”
