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“How were things here?” Ally asked.
“Oh, you know. Quiet.” They’d be filled in soon enough.
“So ah… can you…” Craig looked to Ally with a furrowed brow. Why was he fumbling his words? “Ally?”
“I need to move the fourbie. Why don’t you guys stay here while I turn it around?” She smiled at Craig and squeezed his arm. It was as if she couldn’t get away from him quick enough, but Craig’s reaction to her had me on edge. He sucked in a deep breath and fidgeted, shifting from foot to foot. Scottie bumped his shoulder and nodded, holding his gaze for a moment. Craig settled and nodded back. What had him on edge? Was he scared? Nervous? Why would he be anxious around me? Unless…
Oh shit.
My gut sank and that hollow feeling returned. Shame sent my head spinning. No. I closed my eyes and wished for my suspicions not to be true. Were Craig and Ally together now? But then I realized that I’d just effectively wished for them not to be happy, and I hated that I went there. I rubbed a hand over my heart, trying to ease the piercing ache. The breath I sucked in was painful. A vice-like weight sat on my chest, crushing my heart. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I had to tell Craig that he had nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t stand in his way. I wouldn’t hold it against him. How could I? I loved the bloke. And Ally.
If getting two bulls wasn’t the only thing that came out of their trip, I would be happy for Craig and Ally. It’d kill me to watch them together. To see them falling in love. But I’d do it. I’d step away. I’d never come between them. All I wanted was for them to be happy. If they had that together, I couldn’t ask for more.
My two favourite people could be happy together. Craig and Ally were perfect for one another too. I should be happy for them. No, I was happy.
I was hurt.
No.
I was crushed.
But Craig deserved happiness. He’d put his life on hold, standing beside me through thick and thin while I tried to hold my shit together. I’d never begrudge him love. And Ally… it was hard to believe that someone as amazing as her could be real. But she was right there in front of us.
“It’s okay, Craig,” I said softly, my voice rough from unshed tears. “I’m happy for you.”
He shook his head, his brow furrowed as if he was confused. “What? Never mind, don’t answer.”
Ally pulled the Landcruiser up in front of us and Scottie was in the back of the float as soon as it stopped moving. When I heard clanking and Scottie’s voice, calm and soothing, from inside the float, my curiosity got the better of me.
The mare Scottie eased out was beautiful. The deepest of browns—so dark she was almost black with white socks, her tail swished as she stepped backwards. She held her head up, looking around, relaxed but interested.
Craig petted her long nose fondly. “This is Daisy. You’re a beautiful girl, aren’t you?” The horse nudged him, and I knew he was already head over heels in love with her.
I choked out a laugh, thrilled that he’d found a horse. Had I jumped to conclusions too soon? Was I completely wrong about Craig and Ally possibly being together? A tiny beam of hope pierced the darkness that had cloaked my shattered heart in shadow. God, I hoped that I’d gotten my assumption completely wrong.
Even though I shouldn’t.
“Hiya, darlin’.” I stroked her neck gently. She nickered and Ma stepped forward, reaching for her.
“You already know who has treats, don’t you, Daisy?” Ma chuckled and pulled a few slices of apple from her apron. I smiled as the horse deftly plucked them from Ma’s hand and went searching for more.
“Oh, Scottie,” Nan breathed, awe in her voice. “He’s spectacular.”
I turned to where Nan was looking to see a second horse, and déjà vu hit me with the force of a Mack truck. I was fifteen again and standing in Eadie’s stall, saying goodbye to my best friend. I gasped and tears sprung to my eyes, the shock of the vision before me making me lightheaded. I reached out, my fingertips touching the horse before me. Coarse hair met my hands, the warmth and strength of the animal before me so clear even with just a whisper-soft touch.
Words fled me, and my heart beat as fast as a racehorse galloping into the sunset. My hands shook and my breath shuddered as it left my lungs in a whoosh.
I was overwhelmed. I’d gone from mourning the loss of a relationship I could never have, to seeing Scottie’s new horse. The seesaw of emotions nearly brought me to my knees. But now I understood. No wonder Craig was nervous. He would have known my reaction. He would know just how desperate I would have been for this horse to be mine.
I may not be able to call him that, but seeing him gave me something I never thought I’d have back—a connection to Eadie.
The similarities between them were uncanny. She was an anomaly in the animal world. An Australian stock horse that looked like a patchwork quilt. And this horse was a spitting image of her. It wasn’t impossible that they shared a bloodline, but my dad had never wanted to breed her in case her unique colouring was a symptom of something not so innocent. But she wasn’t mine anymore. Who knew what the new owners had done.
Captivated with every move the horse made, I reached out again and touched his face. His long mahogany mane lay over his eyes, and I gently scratched him there. Our eyes met and he regarded me as I silently petted him. I couldn’t get any words beyond the lump in my throat. He had the same eyes as Eadie and as mine filled with tears, I sniffed and shook my head. He had almost the same markings as her too—closer than any other horse I’d ever seen. They were probably more pronounced than Eadie’s were, with larger patches of dark brown contrasting wildly against the snow white of his coat.
He stood so much taller than me but lowered his head to mine, nuzzling my hair. I huffed out a laugh, that was as much of a cry, and reached for his neck. Resting my temple against his cheek, I closed my eyes and petted wherever I could reach with shaking hands. He wasn’t Eadie, but this magnificent creature had her genes and somehow, I was privileged enough to see him. I was awestruck. Absolutely blown away by him.
“Sam.” Craig gently pressed his hand to my lower back. “This is Spook.”
