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Everyone except Scottie and Macca moved to the loungeroom, the two of them retreating to their new bedroom. It was sweet seeing how Scottie doted over Macca, constantly keeping a hand on him. I didn’t blame him. After coming so close to losing a person I loved, I would have needed the reassurance that he was still safe in my arms too. When the snick of the lock on their door sounded, Nan turned on the stereo, playing some good old Lee Kernigan to muffle any sounds. Ally had laughed, shaking her head at Nan, and it took my breath away. She was a sight for sore eyes, the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
“They’re young and in love.” Nan waved Ally off. “Better to give them their privacy.”
“Think Jono will be back tonight?” I settled in next to Ally on the comfortable old couch with a cuppa, hoping that I could spend all night there with her.
“Ma got a text from him to say he’s on his way, but he’d be back late. He had tea with Craig before coming back.” She yawned and moved to stand. “I’m wrecked. I’m gonna head upstairs.”
“Oh, okay. Sure. I’ll, ah… head off then. Night.” I extracted myself off the couch and managed a small smile, my insides crawling with dread. It’d been a bloody long time that I’d been completely alone. Sure, I would do jobs on the station, spend a few hours by myself, but it was rare that it would be any longer than an hour or two. We tended to work in pairs or, in our case, the three of us. But now I’d been cast adrift and was floating around unmoored, unsure of the direction the tide would take me.
I stepped out onto the veranda and looked over to the sorting yard and the open driveway abutting it. I’d stood and watched the basketball matches Craig had played with Blond more times than I could count. It always went the same way. The bull would be in a defensive position, while Craig bounced the ball, taking shots against the ring we’d fashioned from a discarded piece of metal. Every part of this station held memories of Craig’s time here. Every day he’d been here indelibly etched into the dirt. Now I had to go on without him, and I wasn’t sure how.
I trudged outside and along the darkened drive until the sensor lights on each of the cabins lit up as I passed. My hands in my pockets and my head hung low, I stopped at the door to the cabin. I couldn’t bring myself to open it. The darkened interior of the cottage wasn’t where I wanted to be.
The two people I wanted were now spread apart. Hours of distance separating us. Would I ever see him again? I supposed it didn’t matter anymore. He chose prejudice over love—Scottie and Macca disgusted him. If he ever found out about me, I’d disgust him too. I couldn’t bear to see that look on his face directed at me. It was better this way.
If I told myself that enough, maybe I’d start to believe it too.
