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“They only got a couple of punches in before the coppers came looking for homeless people in the park. We all took off, but I ran in the opposite direction to the others. I hid out on the farm until I could move here and haven’t seen any of them since. Since then… well, I’ve been circumspect about who knows.”
“I’m not out to many people either,” Jacob sympathized. “There’s no way I could be at work, or to my father.”
Phoenix sighed, the heaviness between them settling into a comfortable silence. “I haven’t told anyone else about what happened before. Not even my folks.”
Cassidy appreciated what he was saying without speaking the words. He trusted them. He understood why Jacob had been reticent to open up to him sooner. Their shared experiences of bi-and pan-phobic behaviour made Cassidy stabby, but sharing it allowed the trust between them to take root. Their blossoming friendship was beautiful to watch.
Cassidy realized that Jacob hadn’t let go of Phoenix’s knee when he squeezed it again and Phoenix’s gaze dropped. Jacob startled, snatching his hand away, gripping hers instead. She loved that he’d automatically gone to her. There was no drawn-out thought process, no analyzing whether he should. He’d acted on instinct, and that spoke loud and clear to Cassidy—Jacob trusted her too.
Leaning back, Phoenix crossed his arms and looked expectantly at Jacob. “But while we both have reasons why we’re not out, it still doesn’t explain what you were doing with your orders.”
Jacob nodded. “You’re right. It doesn’t. When I walked into the coffee shop that first time, I was like a goldfish. All I could do was open my mouth and stare.” He huffed out a laugh, and his cheeks turned a rosy pink. “You’re really handsome.” Jacob pulled his T-shirt away from his chest as if he was too hot and shook his head. “I got all tongue-tied and stupid and said that I’d have whatever the other guy was having without even hearing what his order was. When you read it back to me, I don’t know, I…” He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. Jacob’s words were quiet when he said, “I still hadn’t figured out how to speak to you.”
The silence stretched out, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Rather it was as if the two men were assessing each other, but when Phoenix’s intense gaze shifted to hers, Cassidy swallowed and supplied, “I came in the next day because Jacob told me how good-looking you were. I asked you to deliver the coffee to him to give him a chance to speak to you while there weren’t as many people waiting for you.”
“So, what, all the talk about him auditioning for the boyfriend role is just bullshit? And our conversation yesterday? You don’t owe me anything, but it’s pretty shitty to lie like you’ve been doing. Just say you have a mate who’s interested.”
“I told you the truth,” Cassidy said. “We’re still working things out between us.”
“Yeah, okay.” He motioned with his thumb over his shoulder to the door and said, “I need to get back inside. The boss is already pissed with me.”
“Are we invited back in?” Cassidy asked.
Phoenix shook his head slowly and retreated a step. “No, I think it’d be better if you didn’t.” He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob. “I’m not… It’s not…” Running his free hand through his hair and pushing back the floppy strands that had fallen in front of his face, he added, “Look, I’m flattered. I really am. But you should go.”
Six
Phoenix
“C
ome on, man. You need to unwind,” his roomie complained. Trav wanted to hook up, because, like a superstitious athlete, he went out to get laid the weekend before every one of his exams. The only time he hadn’t picked up, he’d failed an exam. Phoenix didn’t have the time, though. He had four exams to study for, and one of them—his theories of law class—was going to be a ball-breaker. It was the first exam he had scheduled, and he hadn’t even looked at the other subjects he was taking. Yet he knew he still needed more time. The nuances of each theory, how they applied to modern legal frameworks and coloured interpretations of history, together with the real-world impact on anyone who didn’t fit within the boxes created by white, middle-class, middle-aged, cis, het men. It was a subject he had a passion for, one that was a foundation for the sort of professional he wanted to become. But before that, Phoenix needed a few more hours to study. Then he needed a solid fourteen hours the next day. By the time Monday rolled around, he would be set. Maybe. Hopefully.
“Nah, I still have another few chapters to review.” Phoenix lit up the screen on his phone. It was 10:00 p.m. He’d been at it for nearly six hours after doing a full day’s shift at Grounds. He rubbed his eyes and stifled a yawn.
“Dude.”
He shouldn’t even be contemplating going out—he needed sleep more than anything else—but a beer or three would go down especially well. If he tried to get any rest, he’d just lie awake reciting principles from Dworkin, Hobbes, Rawls, and Kant and trying to anticipate the exam question. His heart rate sped up, and he had to consciously unclench his fists.
Phoenix groaned. Trav was right—Phoenix did need to unwind before he fried his brain. Or had an anxiety attack. “Yeah, okay. I’ll come out, but I’m not staying late. I can’t afford tomorrow to be a write-off.” He still had a whole module in the class to look at again.
“No worries, mate.” His roomie’s grin was infectious. But when he looked Phoenix over, his nose crinkled. “Get into something less—” He waved his hand in Phoenix’s general direction. “?that, and we’ll go.”
He barked out a laugh. His grey sweats with holes in the knees—the only thing he was wearing—were definitely not appropriate for anything other than studying.
“There’s this new club—”
“Nope, no clubs or we’ll be there all night.” When Trav opened his mouth to protest, Phoenix held up a hand, silencing him. “I can’t, mate. I’ll go to the pub with you and the guys, we’ll shoot some pool and have a beer, but that’s it. If you want to move on after I leave, go for it.”
Trav rolled his eyes. “One drink at the pub and then we go dancing. You’ll be in someone’s bed within two hours, tops.”
Phoenix laughed. “That’s your ritual, not mine, and you have far too much confidence in my abilities.”
“No, I really don’t. I’ve seen the way you pull people in. One minute you’re dancing, then the next you’re zipping up after getting a BJ. The only difference is whether your hook-up is teetering on high heels or wiping his beard.” Trav was exaggerating. Kind of. Phoenix enjoyed sex, preferred the no-strings-attached kind, and really wasn’t fussy about the gender of his partner. When he was attracted to someone, he went with it. Women were beautiful. Men were too. “So, the question is, will it be a he or she tonight?”
Trav raised an eyebrow when Phoenix didn’t answer. The question was a loaded one, and he didn’t have an easy answer to it. He’d been obsessing over the flirtatious blonde who’d graced his shop every day for the last couple of weeks, but Jacob had haunted his dreams. Both of them were equally beautiful, all suits and style. But it was more than that too. Cassidy’s confidence and the way she teased and tempted him made him weak in the knees, and Jacob’s shy, fumbling side brought out the protector in him. He couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to see him without inhibitions and her without clothes.
He chuckled. “I know that look,” Trav teased. “Who is it?”
