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“Want some company?”
He shook his head and took the empty bottle she was holding. “I’ll get you another.” Jake motioned to the coolers filled to the brim with drinks.
She waved off his offer. “I’ve run out. I only bought a couple over with me. The others weren’t cold,” she said by way of explanation. “I’ll duck home later and get the six-pack I put in the fridge before we left.”
“I’ll do it.”
Jake stood, and when Mike’s gaze met his, he pointed next door. “Grabbing some more drinks for Cassie. I’ll be back.”
“I’ll come with you.” He sprang up and clapped his hand on Jake’s shoulder before he had the chance to object. Flashing a small smile his way, Jake led Mike out the front gate. “So,” he started before huffing out a laugh. “I’m just gonna come straight out and ask you something, yeah?”
“Of course.” Jake nodded, turning to Mike more fully as he pushed open the gate to his yard. Had he been wallowing so much that he’d missed something the matter? “Is everything okay?”
Mike smiled, one genuinely filled with happiness. “Yeah, it’s good. We’re better than good.” He licked his lips, and his smile faded before he looked back toward his home. Jake got the distinct impression that he’d rather be anywhere except there with him. “You and Cassie seem a little off. Is everything okay with you two?”
Jake froze then sagged, his shoulders slumping as the wind was taken out of his sails. God, was he that obvious? He had been off, but he thought he’d been doing a half-decent job of hiding it. Clearly not. “Cassie and I are good. I’m just going through a rough patch, but I’ll be right.” Mike raised a brow at him as if to ask whether that was all the information Jake was giving him. Jake groaned and added, “It’s hard seeing how happy everyone is.”
“You’re not happy? Is it like depression unhappy?” Mike sat on the front step, resting his elbows on his spread knees, looking at him with furrowed brows, the concern in his eyes clear. Jake appreciated his willingness to talk, especially when he thought it could have been depression. But he would rather do almost anything than talk about why he was down. Maybe that had been his problem. He and Cassie had both dealt with what happened in their own way. While they spoke about Phoenix, the premature way their relationship crashed and burned and the way his hope had died after that were things they tended to steer clear of. Maybe getting it all out would help. Jake sighed, sinking down next to him.
“It’s not depression.” Jake blew out a breath. “I don’t even know how to describe it. Jealousy maybe? I’m envious as hell.” Mike tilted his head, inviting him to keep talking. “Cassie and I are happy. We’re solid. But our relationship looks different now than what we expected it would when we first got together.”
“Cryptic much?” Mike smiled and nudged him with his shoulder. “You can tell me. I won’t say anything, not even to Rob and Ez.”
“I’m pan and Cassie’s poly. Well, I suppose I’m poly too.” If the news surprised Mike, he didn’t show it. “When we lived in Sydney, we met a guy—Phoenix—and we both fell for him. It was quick. Intense too. We clicked so well.” Jake smiled sadly. “But then some stuff happened—none of which was any of our fault—and it didn’t work out. Cassie and I moved up here because of the other things that went down, and we lost contact. I’ve had trouble moving on. I still love him.”
Jake sucked in a breath, shocked to his core that the words had slipped out. He’d never said it—had not even acknowledged it given the futility—and now there he was laying it on Mike. He’d never even told Cassie, not that the news would come as a surprise to her.
But now the words were out in the open, hovering there in front of him, it was… wow. Oddly freeing, like he could finally own it. He didn’t know whether he would ever really be ready to move on, but he’d been stuck idling in neutral for years now. Going nowhere. It was time he fulfilled his promise to Cassie.
“And seeing all of us loved up in trios makes you wish you’d worked out,” Mike concluded. When Jake nodded, he added, “It’s not too late to find someone else or find him again.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Cassie has probably been ready for years, but I—”
“Wait.” He held up his hand. “You haven’t spoken with her about this?”
“Generically, sure. Every now and then we’ve mentioned bringing in another person, but not in any depth. We’ve never planned anything since Phoenix. Looking for someone just kind of got shelved when we crashed and burned. Cassie hasn’t ever asked to try again. She knows me well enough to understand that I wasn’t ready.”
“Do you think you’re ready now? Or might be one day?”
“One day, I think so. Maybe we just need to get out there. Something casual with no strings attached.” Jake nodded, trying to convince himself that he wouldn’t back out if they ever actually got to that point.
Mike regarded him for a moment, and his lip twitched. “Yeah. Dude, one step at a time. Maybe just have an honest conversation with your girl.”
Jake knocked his shoulder into Mike’s. “Thanks, man. It was good to talk about it.”
“Anytime.”
Jake stood and motioned to the door. “Let me get the cider and we’ll head back. Get you back to your party.”
Cassie welcomed him with a smile that grew when he kissed her grinning lips before sliding in behind her again. “You seem happier.”
“Mike and I had a chat. It helped.” Cassie leaned into him, and Jake wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close.
When the conversation diverted to how the woman with pink hair, Adelaide, knew Katy, Connor, and Levi, there was mention of a butt plug. Jake groaned and turned his face against Cassie’s shoulder to hide his laugh. But from his position, he had eyes directly on Connor. The man not only snagged but held his attention.
He couldn’t look away, no matter how much he should.
It was as if he was intruding on an intensely private moment between Connor, Levi, and Katy. With eyes locked on Katy’s, Levi sank his teeth into Connor’s shoulder—just a playful bite—and Katy watched her other man as his eyes rolled back, and he arched into Levi.
