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It was times like this when what he’d lost stood out so starkly to him that the ache in his chest overwhelmed him. The wound that his father had inflicted on them multiplied infinitely by Phoenix turning away. It tore at his soul. Shredded him into a million pieces. Cassie had wanted Phoenix just as much as he did. He knew it was why neither one of them had pushed to open their hearts to another person again. He could usually stifle the agony, shove it back into the box he had carved out for Phoenix, but this time he couldn’t. His emotions were too raw. Too close to overflowing already.
Yet, he still couldn’t look away.
As Levi turned Connor’s face and kissed him while Connor reached for Katy, drawing her in close, Jake fisted his hands in Cassie’s white linen shirt.
Gritted his teeth.
Turned away.
The pain in his chest was a physical manifestation of his heartbreak, stealing his breath until Jake was sure the spots in his vision were a warning he was about to pass out.
“Mate, you got an issue with this?” Will, the burly cruise ship captain whose pretty boyfriend was wrapped around him, asked. Even though Jake’s eyes were locked on the trio, he knew immediately who Will was talking to.
“He doesn’t,” Cassie answered quickly, more than grateful she understood exactly what he was struggling with. Jake slowly uncurled his fingers and straightened the loose linen before him. He met Mike’s eyes, and his friend gave him an encouraging nod. Mike was right. He needed to open up about his feelings.
“I don’t have a problem. I’m one of you—I’m pan—but it’s been a while since I’ve been with a man. Last time didn’t end well. It ruined everything—”
“No, it didn’t,” Cassie interjected, spinning to sit sideways on the lounger. Waving her hand in the direction of their house, then their friends, she added, “Look at everything we have because of it.”
“But we don’t have him, do we?” Jacob’s words were quiet, but the silence following them was deafening. Cassie shook her head and cupped his face, leaning her forehead against his cheek.
“I wish we did too, but Jake, we have to accept that he made a decision. I hate seeing you hurting; I want you happy.”
Jake nodded and wrapped his arms tight around his girlfriend. “I want the same for you.”
“I am happy,” she reassured him. “And I love you. That’s more than enough. You’re more than enough.”
“I love you too.” He nuzzled her cheek, slipping his hands into her hair and dropping a kiss on the corner of her mouth. He pulled back and smiled, but he knew it would look strained. “Might just have to get back into it, though, if you guys are anything to go by. Anyone know a good swingers’ club?”
Adelaide cleared her throat. “Actually, I do.” She reached into the purse by her feet and slipped Cassie a dark business card. Jacob looked over her shoulder, but she passed it to him. The Exchange, Members Only Club was embossed in silver serif lettering. He flipped it over to see an address in Surfers Paradise. Jake slipped it into his shirt pocket and nodded his thanks. “I’ll put your names down as my guests. We can exchange numbers and I’ll give you the tour. We can have a chat about relationship pressures when you’re jumping into a poly relationship too.”
“Thank you,” Cassie murmured and squeezed his hand. A weight lifted off his shoulders, knowing he was doing this for Cassie. Phoenix would always hold a piece of his heart, but no matter what Cassie said, he wanted to give her this. Perhaps letting someone else in—even just for the night—was what they needed to move past him.
“So… how good was the State of Origin?” Jake asked, grinning at New South Wales’ win. There was a round of collective moans and a few choice words.
*****
Their rideshare pulled up in front of a three-storey building along the main street in Surfers Paradise. The large windows and high hedge intersected by an ornate black gate made it look more like a home for an A-lister than a club. But understated was probably a good thing where the clientele was going inside to get naked. At least, that’s how Jake assumed it would work. He really didn’t have much of a clue.
He stepped up to the curb and held out his hand for Cassie to hold as she slid out of the low car. Wearing a long-sleeved black dress with a plunging back that made Jake want to peel her out of it, she was gorgeous. Her hair was loose in long curls, and her make-up was artfully applied to look like she had none on at all. His girlfriend was a wet dream, one that Jake could never get enough of. Giving Cassie what she’d always wanted made him happy. Hopefully, he’d be able to go through with it.
He was determined to at least see whether it was an option. Cassie had needed a little persuasion, and he could still see she was nervous. Giving him a small smile, she smoothed her dress down and blew out a breath. He waited, making sure that she wasn’t going to call the whole thing off. But when she eyed the building with more than a cursory glance, he knew she was intrigued. “Shall we?” he asked.
“Yeah.” Cassie nodded, then laughed. “I’ve got butterflies.”
He grinned. “Me too. But no pressure. We’ll check it out and see whether it’s somewhere we want to visit again.”
The smile she shone his way was more genuine this time. “Come on, let’s find Adelaide.”
The gate was unlocked, and as they pushed through, Jake spotted her immediately, drinking a cocktail at one of the mosaic-topped tables with ornate iron chairs. She was hard to miss with pink hair laying in waves around her shoulders.
Passing through the gate was like stepping straight into an Italian piazza. Terracotta tiles lined the ground, and wide pots were placed in each of the four corners with tall palms in them. A tall fountain was nestled among the vines creeping up the fence, and a handful of people mingled there. Jake adjusted his collar and motioned for Cassie to walk ahead of him to Adelaide.
“Hi, guys. Welcome,” she said warmly. “Would you like a drink before we begin the tour? There’s another bar inside if you’d prefer.”
“Let’s take a look around,” Cassie said, squeezing Jake’s hand.
“Excellent. First stop is right here. This is the piazza. It’s strictly a place to chill out and enjoy the sun or the night air. We’re open twenty-four-seven from Thursday noon to Monday at 9:00 a.m. There are also some other nights throughout the year where special events are held.”
