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It was odd—the intrusion something he wasn’t familiar with—but when he lifted his hips, rocking into his fist, his arse muscles tensed, and bliss shot through him. Liam moaned as his balls drew up tight. Fingering his arse with the tip of his finger, his other hand worked his shaft. Images flashed in his mind’s eye of Addy and King kissing, the head of his cock in their mouths. The tingle at the base of his spine morphed into a rushing and Liam’s balls drew tight. He slid his finger in deeper, grazing a spongey pad inside himself. A tidal wave of ecstasy washed over him, and his arse contracted, ropes of cum being sucked from his balls and shooting from his shaft. With each pulse his balls unloaded again, and Liam shouted. His heart hammered in his chest and his mind whited out, his breathing ragged.
With cum cooling on his belly, his finger still pressed in his arse, Liam let his legs fall open, shuddering at the pressure on his prostate. He brushed it again and his cock filled, the hardness from only a moment earlier returning. Liam sucked in a breath and pulled his fingers free, shocked at his body’s reaction to the stimulation.
He didn’t have the excuse of the cloud of sleep hanging over him anymore. No, he was well and truly awake now. He’d jacked off before, imagining King and Addy while he made himself come, but he shouldn’t.
Not if he wanted to protect his heart.
There was one undeniable truth that Liam had to face up to in the dark of the night. He’d fallen for them. Together. The two of them. Addy was loving and uplifting. She brought out the best in everyone around her. She was fun-loving, but not shallow. She wasn’t shy to tackle topics most people were embarrassed to and was passionate about the things she set her mind to. Since King had come into her life, she’d blossomed like a field of wildflowers, reaching for the skies and brightening the world with her beauty. Where Addy was bright sunshine, King was quiet and unassuming. He was a teacher and a nurturer, gentle and smarter than anyone Liam knew, and Liam was hooked. It was hot as hell to watch his brain in action. King made being smart and reliable, having loyalty to his friends, and loving with his whole heart sexy. There was no doubting the attraction he had to either of them.
To both.
In his dreams, Liam had imagined them naked. He wanted it for real. He wanted to see how far down the glimpse of chest hair went. Was it as soft as it looked? What was it like to kiss him? What about Addy? Would she welcome him being soft and gentle, or would she want it harder, deeper? What about them together like he’d fantasized so many times?
Alone they were amazing, but together they were everything.
Liam didn’t know what it meant for his sexuality. King, Addy, and Lij would be the perfect people to speak to, but how when he couldn’t admit who he was falling for? Curiosity had gotten the better of him before and Google had been his friend. The classification that seemed to fit him best was pansexual. He’d fallen for the person, or in his case people, not the body parts. He supposed that the multiple-person thing meant he was polyamorous too.
Going from identifying as straight to polyamorous pansexual in the space of a few months hadn’t come as much of a surprise as he’d thought. He’d had threesomes and moresomes before, but none of them had ever involved feelings. None of them involved wanting to curl up in front of the TV and watch the footy together like he’d done with Addy countless times, or cook together like he and King had done almost every night since Addy left. If feeling something deeper for King and Addy than friendship meant his sexuality had changed—or he’d realized something that was always inside of him—so be it. Because this time, it wasn’t just the sex he wanted, no matter how hot it would be seeing them both naked. No, for the first time in his life, Liam wanted to experience love. He wanted to give himself to them. He wanted to show them he could be all the things they needed too.
Talk about fantastical dreams.
Falling for them was easy. Surviving it with his heart intact was impossible.
*****
The sun was cresting the horizon, the grey light of the predawn draining away the darkness of the night before. Liam hadn’t slept after he’d let his imagination carry him away, tossing and turning for the rest of the night. Then Coach had slammed them again—like he had every day that week—stepping up their endurance training so they would all be at peak performance for the beginning of the season. A second night of no sleep and he was jittery with exhaustion. Liam had nothing on that day, no training and no tutoring, yet he was up at the arse crack of dawn.
But he did have a dinner, one he was nervous to attend. King was taking him home to meet his parents. Well, not quite. He’d invited him for a meal. Liam was the one who’d wished he could call it more.
The blurring of the lines between them was freaking Liam out. He wanted so hard and so much he ached. But it was impossible. King’s news that he was bi had only inflamed his overactive imagination, opening up possibilities that weren’t really there. Liam knew he was travelling down a one-way road to heartbreak, and yet he couldn’t seem to stop. That was why he was loading his surfboard into the back of his SUV. It was why he needed to detach, to feel nothing but the power of the ocean under him. He needed to get out of his head and the only way he could do that—apart from playing football which hadn’t worked so far—was to get back to nature. To worship its beauty and majesty.
He pressed the button on the tailgate and stepped back as it lowered, only to meet Lij’s gaze as he did. “Glad to see you’re still kickin’.”
Liam crossed over the drive and propped his elbows against the fence, the scent of the night jasmine climbing on it still perfuming the air. “Sorry, been busy. Training, classes, and tutoring are kickin’ my arse.”
“King’s there with you until quite late,” he said, fishing for more information. Liam didn’t know whether to be offended by whatever implication Lij was drawing, or to feel bad for rarely asking him to join them. He looked up at the sky, focusing on the grey of the dawn.
Deflection was easier than admitting to his oldest friend that he’d been ignoring him in favour of spending time with King. He knew his friendship with King had a use by date. Addy would be back soon, and King would have no reason to spend anywhere near as much time with him as he did now. Addy would have a break for the holiday period, then she’d go straight into her training. Understandably, they’d want to be together. Liam was trying to get his fill while he could, living in a dreamscape while he gorged himself, readying for the scarce times ahead. Every time he got a smile or a touch, Liam stored the feeling—the high—bottling it for the times when he was alone and needed sustenance. The affirmations, the encouragement that King gave him were like batteries, energizing Liam when he was low. He’d been texting Addy too, reading her words over and over, talking to her almost every day. It was stupid how much he missed her.
“Yeah, we’ve been spending a lot of time on my work and assessments, then eating tea together. How are your manuscripts going? Do you have many more you need to get through before Christmas?”
“I’m still snowed. I’ve had another three authors contact me wanting their stories edited urgently.” He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, Liam noticing for the first time just how exhausted Lij looked. “I don’t know why I do it to myself, but the money at this time of year is hard to walk away from.”
Liam looked him over, noting the running shorts and beat-up sneakers he was wearing. “Go inside and chuck some swimmers on. Let’s go for a surf together.”
Lij’s smile reached his eyes, an excited grin splitting his lips.
“Go,” Liam encouraged. With Lij almost in the door, he added, “Sorry I’ve been a shitty mate. I should have made sure you were okay well before now.”
Lij nodded and slipped through the door, returning a few minutes later in board shorts and thongs, with a towel slung over one shoulder and a surfboard tucked under the other. It was good to see him like that, and Liam realized how much he needed some time with his mate’s grounding influence. He couldn’t talk to Lij about what was going on, but at least he could reconnect with him.
Twenty
Liam
L
iam placed his cutlery side by side on the plate, the dish wiped completely clean. Mountains of grilled baby octopus served on pasta with roasted baby tomatoes, olives, and capers, fresh crusty bread, and a side salad had sat there. His belly was full to bursting point and as he raised his eyes, embarrassed that he’d eaten so much, his gaze found King’s mum. Betty wore the proudest smile he’d ever seen, her eyes glassy with excitement. She held her napkin between her hands and laughed when he flushed.
