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Chapter Twenty-Two
Phoenix
“You look beautiful tonight, Phe,” Jonah tells me as he leans over and tucks a stray hair behind my ear. “You ready for this?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Phe, remember this is on your terms, whatever you feel comfortable with. If you want to leave at any time, you let me know, and you and I can go somewhere else. Okay?”
My heart soared with how concerned he is with making sure I’m alright with everything. It gave me hope, something to hold on to when things got rough.
Walking through the door of Dean’s party, hand in hand, I take a look around. After everything that’s been going on, I sure as hell didn’t want to be here tonight. In fact, this is the last place I ever wanted to be.
When Jonah asked me out yesterday, his suggestion was to come here, together, with all our friends. It did take a lot of the pressure off, not having to be alone with him on our first night out, but being here is making me pretty anxious. I think maybe we should have just gone out alone together.
I still haven’t found out who stole one of my dream diaries from my room, and that has me feeling somewhat nervous. Sure, it’s one of my earlier diaries, so there are no major details or names to be embarrassed by. But it’s still a huge chunk of my past, and I don’t want it in the wrong hands. Knowing someone out there could be reading about one of the most traumatic times in my life makes me feel sick. I have a feeling I know who has it, but I have no way to prove it.
Jonah and I make our way through the crowd of people to the kitchen where the rest of our friends are. Dean’s place is beautiful. It’s a modern beach house, and the living room furniture has been moved to the sides to create a dance floor.
The kitchen opens to a huge deck and is set up as the bar. There are some guys from the football team surrounding a keg in the corner, chanting, while trying to drown their upside-down friend with beer straight from the tap. I can’t imagine that being fun.
Luca leaps from the edge of the kitchen counter when she sees us.
“Hey, chicka …” but the smile slips right off her face as she moves closer. “Phe ... you should really tell your face that it’s at a party. You look like Mr. Cooper’s handing out another pop quiz.” I laugh as she throws one arm around my shoulder and pulls me from Jonah’s side.
“Look, Phe, we’ve got your back, girl. Nothing is going to happen with us around, okay? Let’s try to have some fun tonight, yeah?” She reminds me of Angel so much, that’s probably why we became friends so quickly.
Jonah comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulls me up against his chest. Automatically, I sag into him, it’s like we were meant to be. He is so easy to be with—safe. For the first time since I arrived in the States, it feels like I can finally see a future here.
The warmth of his breath tickles my neck as he leans in and whispers, “How you feeling?”
With a reassuring smile, I say, “I’m okay. I don’t really like crowds, but I’m trying.” Somehow, I just don’t think he believes me.
“Remember what I said outside, okay?” giving me a reassuring squeeze as I nod. “Do you wanna dance?”
Leaning against him, I take in the room. Half the senior class is either on the dance floor or hanging around the kitchen drinking or playing beer pong. Through the open back door, you can see the scattered groups of people crowding the deck as well. I haven’t seen Logan yet, but maybe it’s Stryker I’m looking for. I can’t be sure.
Jonah motions toward the dance floor, and as I smile and nod, we head to the living room. Dancing is my safe place and it’s where I feel most at home. As the Evanescence song “Bring Me to Life” slowly starts pouring through the speakers, we all pair off. When it hits the fast tempo of the chorus, we all come back together and dance as a group.
We’ve been on the dance floor for ages, one song leading to the next, all the others joining in. We cheer and laugh as we dance in our own little world. All I can see is our group of friends, and at last, I can let go.
Jonah pulls away, wiping at the sweat beading along his neck. “Come on.” He mumbles, motioning me to the kitchen. I am getting pretty hot in here, and another drink sounds good. As we move through the tightly packed living room to find drinks, I notice people staring right at me. They lean in to whisper as I pass; it’s so strange. I wonder why they’re staring.
“Jonah, do I have something on my face or in my hair?” Looking me over he shakes his head. I hear the laughing and jeers before I see the familiar look of pity across some of their faces. An uneasy feeling settles over me as I turn to Jonah, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to the side.
“Why is everyone staring at me? I don’t like this feeling,” I clutch his arm tight against my chest for comfort. “Why do I feel like the joke’s on me here?”
“Stay with Cami, Luca, and Ethan. Nate and I will go in and see what’s going on.” He squeezes my hand, a look of concern clouding his handsome face as he and Nate head to the kitchen.
Luca pulls me into a hug as Cami and Ethan flank either side of me. Whatever is going on in there can’t be good, judging by the various stares from my fellow classmates. Half of them appear like they feel sorry for me and want to pull me in for a hug, while the other half seems to be enjoying every bit of my discomfort. What could possibly be behind the sudden change in attitudes?
Within minutes, Nate and Jonah are back, and judging by their demeanors, my anxiety hits new heights. I start to move toward the rest of the crowd when Jonah grabs my arm.
“Phe, trust me. You don’t want to go in there. Someone made copies of pages from your diary and has been handing them out,” he says, sympathy etched all over his face. Shaking him off, I try once more to find out what’s happening. How the hell could anyone get a hold of those diaries? And which diary are they sharing?
“We’re heading out. Take the girls to the car, Ethan. We’ll collect the pages and find the asshole who did this.” Jonah has always been an easy spirit. I’ve never seen him so enraged over anything—he just doesn’t let people get him so riled up. I turn to leave with the girls, but it hits me as I’m reaching the door.
“Jonah, what do you mean by pages? How many pages have they shared?”
