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I made my way around to where she and Paige were dancing, Bad Girlfriend blaring through the speakers. Her hands were in the air as her body swayed in time to the beat. I slid in behind her effortlessly, and wrapped my hands around her waist, pulling her into me.
“Been a long time since I’ve seen that smile, Angel,” I bowed down and whispered into her ear as she moulded into my body, like a glove.
“Mmmm, the music makes me happy.” Her answer was a soft mewl as we grinded against each other. Reaching up behind her, she pulled me down. “I miss this.”
Turning in my arms, she tugged me closer.
“Hey, pretty lady.”
“Hey,” she said, giving me a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, her voice soft and full of sadness. “I’m sorry for not being at the studio.”
“It’s okay, Angel.” I tried to reassure her that there was nothing to worry about, sweeping stray hair from her face. “Can I ask what stopped you?”
She looked around, a little unsure of herself. He did this to her, and I hated him more for it. “Can we go somewhere a little more private to talk?”
I nodded and let her lead the way back through the house, until we reached a large set of double oak doors. Pushing one open, she pulled me though. The afternoon sunlight filtered through the large bay windows. Looking around, she brought me to a small study. Gesturing to the lounge, she closed the door behind her.
“I couldn’t go back there, J’.” Her voice was almost a whisper as she made her way over to the large oak desk in front of the window and leaned against it. The Lennox’s sure liked their oak. Getting a better look at the room, I saw it was covered in it. Shelves, walls, even the side tables were all made of oak. “Everyone was staring at me, and god, the looks. I hate seeing the pity in their eyes.”
“They don’t pity you, Phee.” Getting up, I walked over to her. The bruises may have healed, but that was just the outside. On the inside, I knew something was up. Cupping her face, her icy blues sparkled as a stray tear rolled down her cheek. “Whatever you’re thinking up there, Angel, stop.”
Chapter Twenty Five- Phoenix
I’d distanced myself from everyone after I’d been released from the hospital. None of them listened to me. They were all consumed by the need to treat me like a precious piece of glass. Something so fragile, that with even the slightest movement, it would break. I wasn’t going to break. I wouldn’t allow myself to fall back into the abyss that had consumed me for years.
A knock at my bedroom door pulled me from my thoughts, just as Damon entered. He leaned against my dresser, and I gave him a slight nod, before I continued to put my clothes away.
“Heya Baby G, just wanted to see if you had everything you needed?” He wasn’t fooling me one fucking bit. Not with the way he scanned the room before he focused in on me. I loved the big oaf like a brother, but even the big brother routine had started to get old.
Ever since I’d woken up in that damn hospital, he and the boys had hovered around. Primping pillows, bringing me everything under the sun so I didn’t have to get it all myself. They’d even roped Nate and Ethan into helping them. Not to mention Damon’s mate Madden. Although if I was perfectly honest, that piece of eye candy could stay around as much as he liked. Both Cami and Luca shamelessly watched him just as much as I did— if not more. The guy looked like he’d walked right off the set of Sons of Anarchy, with his leather jacket, and tight tees showcasing his muscles, whilst his jeans left nothing to the imagination.
“I’m fine, Damon.” Exasperated, I closed the drawer a little more aggressively than I’d intended to. I didn’t want to get into another argument that day, but seriously, this whole kidglove act annoyed me to no end. How hard was it to treat me like a normal fucking human being? One that wasn’t damaged. “It’s not like anything could happen to me here anyway. You’ve practically made this place Fort Knox.”
“Phee,” he sighed as he sat on the end of my bed, his head in his hands. “I know you feel like we are all smothering you, but you need to understand, we lost you for a week. You were in the hospital, totally knocked out. Those guys of yours, and yes, that includes Logan, they were going out of their minds.”
“Logan’s not one of my guys, D’,” I retorted, but even as I said it, I knew deep down that I didn’t believe it. Logan had been the worst out of the guys, he was trying hard to make amends, and as much as I appreciated it, it stirred up a feeling that confused the hell out of me. Walking over to the wardrobe, I placed my empty bag up on top, before dropping my joggers on the floor and closing the door. I turned and stared at Damon. “So you’re asking me what, exactly, D’?”
“I’m asking you to go a little easy on them, especially Logan, Phee. They just got you back. You haven’t exactly told anyone what happened during that week, and you haven’t really acknowledged it, either.” The concern that gripped him sent my already shattered heart into overdrive. The pain his little confession made me feel would have almost been too much to bear, had I been able to feel anything but numb. “Phee, you haven’t even gone to the studio since you got clearance, either.”
“So? What does me not dancing at the studio have to do with anything?” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to dance, it was the fact that littered around the room that was my prison for a week were pictures of me at the studio. I just didn’t feel comfortable in there. Add in the stares I’d received that first day back and yeah, it wasn’t happening, but I couldn’t tell him that. Damon would want to know why and who, and I didn’t have it in me to tell him the reasons. “And why should I go easy on Logan?”
“Oh, Baby G, you have a lot to learn.” Damon looked up at me and shook his head, like he had so much more to say. “Fuck it.”
He must have decided to throw caution to the wind, as he walked to the door and closed it. Pointing in the direction of the lounge, he continued. “That man out there, he was the one that got you out of that hell hole. He pounded into the fucker that left you battered and bruised, the one that raped you again. He was the one that didn’t stop looking for you that whole week. Logan. carried. you. out, stayed by your side the entire time you were in the hospital. For god’s sake, Phee, he turned his back on his own family, all for you.”
“I… I… I...” I was shocked to hear all that Lo had done. I’d knownmost of it already, but it was still a bitter pill to swallow. “What am I supposed to do D? Just forget how much he hurt me?”
“Is it so hard to forgive the poor guy? I mean, it wasn’t hard for you to fuck him, so I don’t see the difference.” I knew it was coming from a place of anger, but it fucking hurt, throwing it in my face like that.
“Get out.” My voice was low as shame started to creep in. Silent tears started to fall. “I said get out.”
“Phee, I didn’t mean that.” He knew he’d fucked up, I could tell by the swift way his demeanor changed. Damon tried to pull me in for a hug, but I shoved him away. It was like a knife to the stomach, throwing that in my face. “Not meaning to take away from what you’ve been through, Phee, but he’s hurting too, you know. And in order for you both to heal, you’re gonna need each other.”
“I can’t just forget about the other stuff Damon, and you can’t ask that of me. It’s not fair.” Pushing past Damon, I walked into my bathroom and continued to unpack my things. “It’s not that easy.”
“And you know better than anyone how good people can snap under extreme pressure.” With his hand on the doorknob, Damon turned to look at me one last time. Regret was written all over his face but fuck him. “I’ve made an appointment for you to see your therapist tomorrow.I don’t know what’s stopping you from going to school and the studio, and you’re not talking to anyone, so maybe you could talk to her. Cause Phee, if you hope to graduate, then you need to start going to school again.”
I didn’t know what to make of the conversation I’d just had, but one thing kept playing over in my mind, the words my mother had told me.
