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“You need to forgive, Phoenix. Forgive yourself, your boys, and even those who have wronged you, before you can move on.”
It was a lot easier said than done.
Chapter Twenty Six - Logan
We gathered in the lounge room at the beach house. Each of us had had our reasons for keeping mum on all things Kyle. Since waking up, she hadn’t been the same. The light that was once there in her eyes was no longer. Sure, she would smile at people, but for those of us that knew her, it never reached her eyes.
It killed me inside to know that my own flesh and blood had done this to her. I watched her from the shadows. I noticed everything. When she thought no one was looking, I noticed the inner war that waged within her.
“You know this is all going to blow up in your faces, right?” Madden never missed the opportunity to let us know that he thought what we had been doing was fucked up. I couldn’t say I didn’t agree with him, either. The last week had been pure hell all round. I was ready to put a bullet in Kyle’s head.
“When we explain our reasons, I’m sure she’ll understand.” Stryker shot daggers at Madden. The tension between those two had been growing. He didn’t like the fact that Madden treated her as if nothing had ever happened, and he hated when Madden pointed out that we were treating her like a precious porcelain doll.
“You really believe that, don’t you, pretty boy?” Madden laughed, shaking his head as he kicked off the doorway that led to the bedrooms and headed out the glass doors overlooking the beach for a smoke. “It’s gonna be fucking hilarious when that girl hands you your arse on a platter.”
“What would you fucking know? You’ve only known her a month,” Stryker yelled at his back. “She’ll understand that we did this out of love and concern.”
“Madden’s right, dear cuz,” Paige looked up from her magazine long enough to throw her two cents in. For the life of me, I could not fathom why he thought it would be a good idea to bring her into the fold. The chick was bat shit crazy, if not crazier than my fucking cousin.
“Don’t fucking start, Paige,” Stryker grumbled as he checked his watch for the hundredth time. “I brought you in to help her get through this, and all you’ve fucking done is keep her out late and get her fucking drunk.”
“There are stages to her recovery, col ceathrar.” God, when those two went at each other, it was every man for himself. Stryker had no qualms about putting her in her place. But fuck, it was bad news when you pissed her off, and for the last week she had been sprouting off about how we were monumentally fucking up. “You’ve all kept her in the dark. Mr. Hottie McTottie over there is right- this is gonna blow up in all your faces.”
“And what stage is getting her drunk, Paige? What stage is that? How is drinking going to help her?” Totally ignoring what she had just said, Stryker went right in for the kill. He had been the most vocal about the way Phee and Paige had been acting. “You’re both being fucking reckless. If it wasn’t for Damon and Madz following you two around, who knows what fucking trouble you’d both get into.”
The slap reverberated through the room, making us all pause for a moment. We all knew he had gone too far, but his concerns were valid.
“Fuck You.” Paige vibrated with anger as she turned on her heels, and headed for the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she grabbed one of Damon’s beers. “Fuck you very much.”
“We all agreed it was the right thing to do at the time,” I felt the need to defuse the situation. I’d been quiet long enough. The day Phee’d woken up was soul shattering for all of us. We all knew that this had changed her. She was never gonna be the same. But instead of the scared, timid girl she was at first, she had become angry and so full of rage, with a need for vengeance.
“And I told you then, and I still believe it now— it was the wrong decision. And I should fucking know.” I cocked my head and studied the small petite brunette in front of me. Paige’s demeanour changed almost instantly when it came to Phee. The two were like kindred spirits. Both had gone through similar trauma. “You’ve kept her in the dark, have been treating her with kid gloves, and worst of all, you took away her control. You’re all fucking fools.”
“Enough,” bellowed Damon. We were all lucky not to have gotten whiplash as every head in the room turned to face him. “You’ve been bickering about this for the last hour, going around in circles, and it’s doing my fucking head in.”
“Well, sorry.” In true Paige style, she sassed Damon out. Those two had been skirting around each other for the past month. The tension between the two was almost palpable. “It’s not like you’re innocent here either, Handsome. You’ve helped keep this from her too.”
With a raised eyebrow, I mouthed ‘handsome’ in question to Jonah, who’d been furiously typing away on his phone. He looked between the two, then back to me, and shrugged his shoulders before going back to whatever was on his screen.
“They will be here any minute now,” he informed us.
“I’m gonna hang out on the deck. She’s gonna feel ambushed, and you’re all gonna end up on her shit list.” Taking her beer, Paige headed out the back door just as we heard car doors slamming.
“Here goes nothing,” I mumbled under my breath. Bracing myself for the onslaught that was about to come.
Chapter Twenty Seven - Phoenix
The day had been great. The girls and I had spent it at Cami’s. Eating junk food, and bingeing Shadowhunters. It was the break I’d needed, although it would have been better if Paige had been there too. Since coming home, Paige had been the only one to treat me like nothing had happened. It was something I craved. The boys, they still constantly hovered. Making sure I was okay, that I had what I needed. It wasn’t as though I didn’t appreciate it, I just wanted them to treat me how they used to.
I noticed that whenever I’d open up and talk about how I was feeling, or what I had been through, Jonah and Stryker would become quiet, almost simmering with anger over what I said, then just as I’d finished up they’d leave, not saying a word. I just thought they were trying to cool off, but when they’d come back, their knuckles would be swollen and bruised. They would be so evasive about where they’d gone and what they were doing that I stopped talking after that. If they wanted me to be open, then they needed to do the same. It was a two-way street, and right now, only I was moving.
Paige and I would just hang out, have a few drinks, and listen to music. Sure, there were a few choice words from the boys after staying out all night with her, but Paige was the only other person that understood how I felt and what I was going through. She didn’t judge me or look at me any differently. She just let me be me.
As I walked into the beach house, and dumped my keys in the bowl on the sideboard, I prepared myself for what I might find. I hadn’t missed the cars in the driveway. They were all there, which meant another one of their deep and meaningful’s where I had to do all the goddamn talking. Yeah, that wasn’t happening. I didn’t feel like having another one sided talk that ended with people leaving to hit things.
“Phee, is that you?” Damon yelled out from the lounge room. If he was there, then that meant that nothing good was going to come from this talk. I knew he worried about me. He’d often show up at Paige’s looking for me. Well, I was part of the reason he would show up, anyway. He and Paige had this love-hate relationship going on. He pushed her away, acting as though he hated her, but when he thought no one was looking he would side eye her, and I didn’t miss how he’d always make sure he was closest to her when we went out.
“Yeah, why?” I sighed, shrugging off my coat as I made my way into the lounge. Immediately I stopped when I realised that I had walked into an ambush. “The fuck is going on here?”
