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“Yes.” I smile. “Oh, Eliza, this is Andy, my cousin.”
She nods to say hello but quickly leaves the room, looking relieved for the chance to rest. Eliza is in her early twenties with no children of her own. I feel terrible given this is her first child to take care of, and she must have been worried sick to have to call me.
My gaze falls upon my baby boy, grateful he’s finally sleeping through the pain.
As I walk around the room, I stop near the window as Andy walks toward me.
“He’s beautiful, Jessa,” Andy murmurs, his eyes fixated on Bentley with a loving smile. “Motherhood suits you.”
And then, the memories begin to play. How on occasion, I allowed my imagination to wander, and when I carried a child in my arms, the child belonged to Andy. They began as teenage dreams, but every time, I told myself it was wrong. We were family.
My lips part, the weight in my chest heavy as Andy lingers beside me. Slowly, my eyes lift until inside the dimly lit room, they’re locked into his like a magnetic force I can’t control.
“Thank you,” I barely manage, the surrealness of him standing beside me coupled with exhaustion, toying with my emotions. “For taking me home.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way between us, Jessa.”
I divert my gaze, scared of breaking down in front of the one person I don’t want to see my flaws.
“Andy, I’m not the same person anymore.”
“Neither am I,” he tells me.
“I don’t know what you want from me…” I trail off, willing the pounding inside my chest to even out to a normal pace. “I have nothing to offer you.”
And then, Andy places his finger beneath my chin and raises my head, so our eyes meet again. His penetrating stare has always been ingrained in me, but if only our circumstances were different.
If only he wasn’t raised to be my family.
If only he had been a boy next door or even a classmate in school.
If only I didn’t run away and fall head over heels for a man to escape the person standing in front of me.
But then, I remember the little boy in my arms is why I’d never change anything, no matter how my heart thinks things could’ve been different.
“You’re family, Jessa,” he breathes. “We were family before best friends. Our branches may have grown elsewhere, but our roots remain as one.”
I stare into his eyes, and just like that, a piece of the old Andy comes back to life.
“Family,” I whisper while watching my son sleep. “When we have family, we have everything.”
Nine
Andy
“Andy, we need to be across town in an hour.”
I pull my face away from the lens as Anastasia stands beside me, waiting for a response. She’s typing away busily on her phone while I try to focus on the room in front of me. I tilt my head left, then right, not understanding why I’m unable to capture what my vision so desperately seeks.
And then, Jessa’s face flashes in my thoughts.
The memory of last night is too raw. From the moment I laid eyes on her from across the room, I knew there was a reason for me being forced to attend an event I didn’t care for.
Anastasia was telling me an anecdote, something about a similar event she attended once with a drunk MC. The story was humorous enough to lighten my mood, coupled with the wine served to us.
But then, one glance across the room, and my fate had been met.
The second our eyes connected, a warm rush spread across my entire body, stilling the beat inside my chest, if only for a moment. There has only ever been one person to make me feel this way, and she was standing across the room equally as shocked to see me.
