Page 18 of Hot Rabbi


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“She’s not hurting them or anything, is she? Of course, I’ll pay for anything she damages,” he said, feeling especially ridiculous, because of course that was a question he should have thought of immediately.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Shoshana said, then looked at her colleague. “How did she get locked in?”

“I’m an ass.” The man looked like he would rather be anywhere but where he was. He seemed to realize he was also standing in front of someone he didn’t work with and winced, looking at David before he followed it with a sheepish, “Sorry.”

David shrugged, he’d called himself worse and cursing had never phased him. “In fairness, my daughter is very good at getting what she wants.”

“It's a good skill to have,” Shoshana mused, “it’s certainly served me well. So, wait, are we saying she’s got the key?”

The floor manager shifted uncomfortably, and David felt sorry for him. He wasn’t sure what their working relationship was, but if he were in the man’s shoes, he would be feeling eight kinds of angry with himself.

“Bax,” Shoshana said, and this time there was definite laughter in her voice. “Really?”

“Well, she said it was cool, and those old keysarecool, you know that Sho--”

Shoshana was laughing now. She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. When she opened them again, she made a visible effort to stop chuckling before she spoke again. She turned to look at David this time.

“So, let me guess, she locked herself in because when you have a cool key and a cool lock, you use them, right?”

“Also this way I can’t make her leave the mice where they are and she gets to play as long as she wants,” David said, because while he personally thought his daughter was great, he was under no illusions about the fact that she was still a child and had all the shortcomings that entailed. One of which being an extremely short-sighted, self-centeredness.

“That’s pretty solid logic, actually,” Shoshana said, cocking her head as she thought it through, then nodded to herself, appearing to think about it from another angle, “She isn’t going to care that it actually gets pretty hot in those windows? I mean they’re easily ten to twenty degrees warmer than the rest of the shop on a mild day.”

“She’ll probably have to go to the bathroom soon,” David said, wondering if it was disloyal to point out his daughter’s perfectly normal bodily needs. “We could just wait her out.”

“I’m actually a bit concerned about that lock,” Shoshana said, pointing to the brass plated doorknob. “They’re antique, you know. So, kinda tricky. Even whenweuse them sometimes, we have to jiggle them to work. And it's always been sticky from the other side, because it’s not like we make a habit of locking ourselves in there.”

“Well, you do have another key, right?” David said, for the first time feeling an actual misgiving about this. It hadn’t occurred to him that Dani may actually be stuck in there.

“Somewhere,” Shoshana said, chewing her lip again. “I honestly don’t remember where the skeleton keys are, we’ve never needed them.”

“Fuck,” Bax said, then muttered another apology for cursing, “Should we call a locksmith?”

“Would she give the key back?” Shoshana asked. “Like, shove it under the door?”

“Do you remember I told you my daughter likes a game?” David said, calling back to their hours of conversation the night before. Shoshana blushed, and it brought attention to the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. David realized he was watching her intently and forced himself to look away, to check to see that Dani was still blissfully unaware that there was a minor panic happening on the other side of the door. She was. If he wasn’t mistaken, she was in the process of lining up the mice so that she could give her own d’var.

“You’re saying she may justnotbecause she thinks it’s fun?” Baxter said, scandalized. Shoshana gave him a look that said she thought he was being dense on purpose.

“What is she doing in there, anyway?” Shoshana said, peering around the bit of window as quickly as she could, “I don’t want her to think she’s got an audience and freak her out or anything.”

“Yeah, Dani isn’t afraid of an audience. I’m guessing she’s giving her thoughts on this week’s Torah portion,” David said, laughing a little.

“What, like school?” Baxter said, then looked at Shoshana, “That’s a thing girls do, right? Play school?”

“Not this girl.” Shoshana eyed the door critically. “More like Shabbos. Her dad’s a rabbi, man.”

“Huh,” Baxter grunted, then glared at her when she knelt in front of the door. “I thought you weren’t going to try to get her to give the key back?”

“Shush up, I’m not,” Shoshana said, “I want to see what’s going on in there.”

“Right now, she’s definitely in her stride. She has a lot to work with, this week was Matot,” David said, unable to hide the touch of pride. Dani knew how to command attention, even if it was the attention of a bunch of taxidermized mice.

“Numbers, right?” Shoshana said. She was crouching in front of the door, her face right next to the intricately wrought brass plate.

“What are we even talking about right now?” Baxter said, rubbing the bridge of his nose again. “Also, should I go tell Derek you’re going to be a while?”

“No, go grab a piece of legal paper out of the printer and a letter opener,” Shoshana said, sitting back on her heels. She jerked her chin at the door. “The Torah portion this week is Matot, it’s in the book of Numbers. And the little stinker’s left the key in the lock, so I think I can pop it out, and steal it back.”

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