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“I’m just surprised you thought about it that much. Also, you should do something about that, it’s distracting as hell,” she said, indicating Shoshana’s phone. It buzzed again to prove her point. Shoshana rolled her eyes and flipped the phone over on the table.
“Shit,” she said when she saw the string of messages. The sisters were suddenly very interested.
“Hot Rabbi doesn’t waste any time,” Abi said, sipping her wine.
Four
“You have like six texts there, Sho.” Leah peered across the table at the phone screen.
“Eight..teen,” Shoshana corrected. She turned the phone back around and made a face. “And for the record, none of them are from Hot Rabbi.”
The sisters wailed in unison and Shoshana threw back her head and laughed.
“I am so disappointed in him,” Abigail said, taking a deliberate bite of a breadstick, “I’m going to tell him on Monday, this is such a wasted opportunity.”
“Oh come on, Abs, the man is clearly playing the long game,” Leah said. She broke another breadstick in half and considered it. “He’s making her sweat it out a bit. Also it's Shabbos, maybe he’s like, actually observant or whatever.”
“Pretty sure that makes sense for a rabbi. How did Rebecca Sandburg even get my number? I know I haven’t talked to her on purpose since sophomore year,” Shoshana said wryly. She was scrolling through the text messages on her phone.
“Sisterhood pipeline,” Abi said, leaning over the table to read the phone screen. She snorted and rolled her eyes, sitting back in her seat. Seemingly, Abi was not surprised by whatever it was Rebecca had sent.
“She was at services, she was the one with the, uh...” Leah’s voice trailed off and she made a complicated motion with her finger around her face to mimic the overly detailed style Rebecca’s eyebrows had been forced into. “I think she’s still seeing that guy who did Mom’s back deck. Whatsisname, Abs, he’s the one who looks like a lumberjack.”
“I have no idea. Do they still have lumberjacks?” Abi plucked Shoshana’s phone from her hand and waved away Shoshana’s noise of protest. She considered the screen for a moment before saying, “Yeah, they think you’re moving in, Sho. This is a fishing expedition. Even Evelyn’s messaging her, Lay.”
“Her phone has text messaging?” Leah said, clearly shocked, “I thought those jitterbug things only did dial out.”
Abi snorted a laugh, “You know damn well that phone was a joke. Evelyn always has the best tech.”
“I mean, Evelyn texting me isn’tsoweird,” Shoshana said, reaching to take her phone back, but Abi held it just out of reach.
“I can see that.” Abi looked at her over the rims of her very fashionable cat-eye glasses. “I had no idea you two were so close.”
“The store is the only place she trusts to do her furniture. And we just redid her formal living room a few months ago so, you know, we’re friendly.” Shoshana wasn’t sure why she felt as though this was something she had to explain. Or why she would rather not talk about it. She quite liked Evelyn Haas. The older woman was funny and smart, and she didn’t push Shoshana to do anything other than what she agreed to.
“Oh right, right, right,” Leah said, nodding as though this made perfect sense, “You’ve only been avoiding the bubbe brigade for what is it, like fifteen years now?”
“I think it’s closer to sixteen, actually,” Abi said sagely. She’d placed Shoshana’s phone back on the table, seemingly content with whatever she’d seen there.
“Thank you,sixteenyears, and now you’re rubbing elbows with Queen Bubbe. That’s messed up, Sho.”
“Evelyn Haas is not Queen Bubbe,” Shoshana said, laughing because the image was funny. But also because she hadn’t been aware therewasa queen. “Are we just going to ignore that I'm getting text messages from a bunch of women I never talk to just because I went to services tonight?”
“Oh. It’s not just because you went to services,” Leah said. She leaned back in her seat so that the waiter could place her salad in front of her. “Thank you, Steve.”
Their waiter made the appropriate noises and placed salads in front of Abigail and Shoshana. He refilled water glasses and offered to refresh wine, but they waved him away.
“Yeah, they’re definitely fishing,” Abi said again, “Maybe not Evelyn, since you’re so close apparently, but the rest of them totally want to know what’s going on with you and Hot Rabbi.”
“Evelyn and I aren’t that close, we just, you know, have a good working relationship,” Shoshana said, wondering why she felt as though she had to make it clear suddenly that the woman was not her surrogate grandmother. “I don’t even think we said anything to each other at the oneg. That’s why she messaged.”
“Mm, you said,” Abi said, taking a bite of her salad. Her face said she didn’t believe it for a minute.
“You are awfully cynical for a person who sees these people regularly, Abigail,” Shoshana said.
“You know how they can be, Sho,” Leah said, “she’s only stating the obvious.”
“Well how about be a little less obvious,” Shoshana said sourly. She made a face, wanting to say something about how all of this was pointless conjecture anyway because the man hadn’t even messaged her yet, but that seemed too desperate, so she attacked her salad instead.
