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Someone was going to get hurt with all my kicking. Finally, I gave in. “Yes!”
Austin slid between my legs and placed his head in my lap. His soft brown hair weaved between my fingers as I stroked it eagerly. The energy between us changed and the tingling returned, but it had nothing to do with being in heat. It had to do with my attraction to Austin as a man I admired.
“You make things so difficult,” he murmured.
“I’m not the one with my head in your lap.”
He looked at me and propped himself up on his elbows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I have no idea what’s going on here. Are these repressed feelings you’ve had for me or am I misreading you?” My fingers drummed on the armrest of the chair.
Austin sighed through his nose. “I’ve never thought of you in a sexual way.”
Which went down in my books as one of the most insensitive things a man had ever said to me. I wanted to bolt before I burst into tears from the embarrassment, especially after the intimate night we had spent together. But Austin held my hips firmly and wouldn’t allow me to move.
“Let me finish,” he insisted.
“Let me go!” I pushed his shoulders and the recliner began rocking; Austin was too strong for me to fight off. “I’m serious, Austin. Let go of me.”
“You were achildfor Christ’s sake!”
“Not when I wastwenty,” I argued.
We were almost face-to-face, except he was a little lower because his arms were pinning me down. “To me you were, and the last thing I wanted was to have sex with you.”
“Oh God, just let me up!”
I threw myself over his shoulder to toss him off balance, which worked. But not to my advantage as he flipped me over on the rug and covered me like a blanket. “Lexi, listen to me.” I writhed beneath him, trying to break free. “Stop it!” he shouted, pinning me by my wrists.
Stupid wolf in me listened.
“Didn’t you ever notice how I looked at you, Austin? I had a crush on you forever, and you hardly gave me a second glance.”
“Whatever you felt for me was just instinct. We’re alike, and you were drawn to me for that reason.”
I shook my head. “No. You’re wrong.” I was about to remove the filter and say what I’d kept bottled up inside me for a lifetime—something I’d always wanted to admit but never had the courage. “I’ve loved you since I was five years old. Longer than I can even remember. You were always in my life, and I looked up to you. It had nothing to do with this whole alpha wolf thing. It wasyou, Austin. It was the way you laughed at my jokes and stood up for me. You winked at me whenever I was feeling down, and I loved that you pulled over on a busy road and took that injured dog to the vet when anyone else would have driven by. I’ve always seen the goodness in you. I’ve always loved you, and it made me crazy you didn’t feel the same.”
He inched his face in closer and settled his body over mine to keep me still.
“You’re right, Lexi. I haven’t loved you since I was five. I’m not going to sit here and lie to you about it.”
My stomach knotted and I felt a stabbing pain in my chest.
“You were a stubborn and odd little girl who liked to catch butterflies and release them in your house. You seem to have forgotten you used to call me Elastic Man when I hit a growth spurt at age nine.” His breath was on my face and I froze as he continued. “You also had a knack for dating every guy who didn’t pass my test, and if it were my decision, you wouldn’t have gone out with any of them. No, Lexi, I’m not going to tell you I’ve loved you since I was five, because it’s not true. I can’t lie to you.”
My heart sank, and he let go of my wrists and stroked his fingers through my hair.
“In fact, I remember the exact moment I fell in love with you. It was June seventeenth, the summer before your senior year in high school. We went camping with a bunch of friends and I sat next to you by the lake while you hummed a Fleetwood Mac song, watching the moonlight shine on the water and wearing a silly pair of pajamas. We didn’t talk, but that’s the first time I really saw you as the woman you would someday become. You probably don’t even remember it, but I do. I always will.”
Somehow, all the air in the room managed to disappear and I could scarcely breathe.
Austin bit his lip and turned his head away, his pale blue eyes glittering beneath inky lashes. It was the look of regret—one that inevitably came with something you wished you hadn’t revealed.
An avalanche of emotion took over, and tears welled in my eyes, rolling quietly across my ears and into my hair.
He slanted his eyes toward me and saw me crying. “Shit,” he breathed. “I’m sorry, Lexi.” His fingers wiped my tears and I shook my head. He just didn’t understand.
“I’ve waited my entire life for you to say that to me, Austin.”
