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CHAPTER14
Gideon’s body shook, and he forced himself not to punch through another wall. He had more control than that—though it didn’t look like it lately. He quickly threw some cold water on his face, hoping it would calm down his wolf. Brie slept in the next room, exhausted after their lovemaking and the maternal house explosion.
Though he tried, he hadn’t been able to fall asleep, his wolf too on edge for even a moment’s peace. In fact, the only peace he’d felt in a long while was when he had Brie in his arms. He never thought he’d feel that way about another person. It hadn’t crossed his mind he’d care for another being like he did.
He’d spent so long fighting for the good of the Pack, tarnishing his soul so others could breathe again, that the idea of a mate perfect for him seemed far-fetched. Then there were those long years without a single mating within the Pack. Some thought it was the moon goddess cursing the den because of what Joseph had done, but Gideon had another idea. What if the moon goddess was cursing him instead? He’d done the unthinkable and had the blood of so many others on his hands. He didn’t deserve a mate, and he damn sure didn’t deserve the woman in his bed.
She’d taken one hit and kept on coming, surprising him at every turn. Their mating wasn’t a burden, wasn’t something they were forced into anymore. It was something he wanted to cherish. In order to do that, though, he knew it was time to tell her the entire history of the Pack and how he’d become Alpha. In the times of war and strife, what he’d done might not look as bad as he felt it did, but it was dark enough that it hurt his wolf, his being.
It was time to face the truth and hope Brie and her wolf wanted him enough to stay. Oh, she’d always be his mate, but she didn’t have to live with him, didn’t have to keep him in her life. There were ways around that. He prayed she’d choose him once it was all over.
If she didn’t…well, he didn’t want to think about that outcome. He wasn’t sure he could bear it.
He could still see the blood on her face, the soot and plaster covering her body when he’d first seen her in the rubble. His heart had leapt out of his chest, his mind going into panic mode. He’d been so close to losing her. If she’d been just a few seconds early or a few feet closer, he could have lost her. It didn’t matter that she was a wolf and could heal faster and take more damage than humans; she could have been killed.
He didn’t know what he would do if he lost her.
And that was the crux of it.
He’d found a mate who burrowed her way into his heart, and he had no idea how she’d gotten there. Now that she was there, though, he wasn’t about to let her go. That meant he’d fight for her, even if she was the one who wanted to leave once he told her everything he’d done.
“Gideon?”
He turned toward the door between the bathroom and bedroom, and took a deep breath. Her sweet scent drifted toward him, and he found himself moving in her direction without a second thought. Her chestnut hair tumbled around her shoulders, and she’d put on one of his shirts, mixing his scent with her own. She was in his skin, just as he was in hers. While he wanted to rub along her body once more to make sure that scent lingered, he didn’t. They needed to talk first.
“I thought you were sleeping,” he murmured then cupped her face, unable tonottouch.
She leaned into his palm and put her hand on his chest. “I couldn’t. Not with you pacing in here. What’s going on, Gideon? Are you worried about someone hurting the den again?”
He swallowed hard then shifted his hand so it was at the back of her neck, claiming her in a possessive manner. “We need to talk, Brie.”
Her eyes widened for a moment, and then she bit her lip. “Whenever someone says that, it usually means something bad.”
She met his gaze, her wolf in her eyes. She might not be aggressive, but her wolfknewhis wolf would never hurt her. That trust was something he would do his best never to break.
“I need to tell you about my parents and how I became Alpha.” The strength of his voice surprised him.
“Okay, we can do that.” Her hand remained on his chest, and she petted him softly. “I know some of it, Gideon. Whatever you think you did that was so dark, so painful, it can’t be as bad as you think. You wouldn’t be the man you are today if that were the case.”
He took her hand from his chest and kissed her fingertips, his wolf pacing. “I hope you feel that way once I’m done.”
“Let’s go sit on the couch then. I’ll make coffee.” She turned away, and he tugged at her, bringing her back to his chest. He nuzzled along her neck, inhaling her scent once more, ensuring he’d never forget it.
“You don’t need to take care of me, little wolf.”
She sighed but didn’t pull away. “I thought we went over this already. Idoneed to take care of you. It makes my wolf happy.”
He kissed her shoulder then pulled away. “Then, thank you.”
She gave him a small smile over her shoulder and went to the kitchen. He took a deep breath and followed her. She wouldn’t let him help, but he could carry the mugs back so she wouldn’t have to. While her wolf wanted to care for him, his needed to care for her. It might have been a different kind of caring, but that’s what made their relationship unique.
They settled on the couch near each enough to touch but not on top of one another like he usually preferred.
“My father was not a kind man,” he began, then paused. “No, that’s making it sound like he had bad moods. My father was a brute. A killer. He should never have been Alpha, but it was in his blood. He might have started out a better man than he became, but I never met that man. That wolf.”
Brie put her hand on his knee, and he let her keep it there. Her touch settled him.
His submissive wolf, his mate.
