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“Different things have been tried. The doctors say her mind isn’t ready to accept what happened that day. She used to live with me but would go into hysterics when she saw Jayla.”
Initially, I don’t understand. When it hits me, it hits me hard.
“Fucking hell! She thinks she’s dead.”
“Now, you’re all caught up. I need to go. Let me give you the card to the caretaker. She ... um ... can coordinate things with you.”
This time, I don’t stop her. My mind is spinning. All this information is tumbling around in my head. It’s hit too fast and I’m not processing it well.
“Man, what I wouldn’t give for a drink right now.”
I drop to the floor of my kitchen and sit in silence as I try to work through it all. No part of me knows what my next step is to take.
Chapter 20
Jaxson
Hampton, GA May 10– Wednesday
I'm slowly losing my mind. I'm sure no one would blame me for doing so. As much as I want this to be the truth, I don't want to believe Brooklyn would do this. I don't wanna believe she would keep me away from my child. I've gone back and forth on this. I've been debating the issue, trying to recall every single moment leading up to that last conversation. I've even replayed what happened from the moment I arrived at the hospital, all those years ago, to the moment she changed both of our lives. None of it makes sense.
If I insert the fact there was a possible second child, I still can't make it right out. Her words still break me. She told me to go. She said we lost the baby. I mourned for that child all by myself. That's one of the reasons my first year away was so difficult. I said goodbye to her, my child, and our future.
On the rooftop of theThompson Savannah, we’d talked about our dreams and the life we would have together. At the hospital in Hampton GA, she snatched all of that away and left me to figure out what my next steps were. Needless to say, I didn't handle things well.
I’ve wanted to confront her, but I don’t know how. She’s got a “mental block” in her brain. On top of that, her friend was hurt in the worst way. Brooklynn has been there with her, for her. I’ve heard charges are being brought against the guy. I’m told Journee is having a hard time with everything. She has a lot on her plate. Brooklynn has been the friend and roommate she needs this entire time. I don’t want to call her while they are in the thick of this.
I’ve seen Jayla, my daughter, a couple times. From a distance. I’m not sure the best approach. The picture book thing threw me. It made me wonder where it came from. Since I seem to have more questions than answers, I’ve decided to find them on my own.
Mrs. Emory is worthless. She’s called a few times. Her reason for calling is always to see if I want to spend time with Jayla. Judging from the short time I spent with my daughter, I’ve gauged she’s very intelligent. If she’s anything like Brooklynn or I were at that age, then she’s going to have some questions. I need to have answers.
I’ve been playing investigator. The last three days have been spent looking for all the information I can find on Brooklynn and Jayla. I’ve been working my way through this last year and a half. I’ve spoken to Hope and the Noelle and the doctors who have been treating Brooklynn. I argued with some of them about not telling Brooklynn the true. All have spouted the same thing.
Brooklynn will come to terms with everything in her own time.
The more I did, the more I feel guilty for not being with her when all of this was going on. I shake those thoughts off and press on. I’ve got to have it all which means I need to go back home. All my notes lead me back to Hampton.
Ryder, Graham, and I arrived in Hampton two hours ago. They went to visit some friends because they don't know why we're in town. All I told them was I needed to go to the Hampton house. Up until about twenty minutes ago, they had no clue I was at the hospital. Both come barreling in the emergency doors.
The worry on their faces is nice to see. I know it’s a messed-up thought. I probably should’ve told them they were just meeting me here. If this were any other situation, I'd probably laugh. It's good to know they care.
“What the hell?! Daire, you're a fucking asshole,” Ryder tells me the instant he sees I'm perfectly fine.
Graham chooses to take it a little further. He grabs my face and gives me a good once over before pulling me into a hug. After he slaps my back twice, he steps back then punches me.
