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‘What youwantto see?’ Cecilia crumpled at the knees and sat down heavily on the sofa. ‘Do you want this girl to be your daughter?’ Rain dripped from her jacket and left a dark stain that seeped into the fabric. ‘You’ve always told me you didn’t want children.’
‘Of course I told you that. It was kinder when we had no choice in the matter,’ said Charles, gently.
‘I thought you’d come to terms with us not having children years ago.’
‘I had, Cece.’ Charles sat on the sofa next to his wife and stroked her hand. ‘At least I thought I had, but Rosie stood right there when she was last here, just before she left, and I could see the resemblance. She’s the spitting image of her mother, but there’s something of Evelyn about her too.’
‘Why didn’t you say something to me about it?’
‘What could I say that wouldn’t break your heart? How could I suddenly become a parent when it’s all you’ve ever wanted?’
‘I’ve always felt second best compared to Sofia, Jay, and when I couldn’t have children…’
Rosie watched in horror as Cecilia’s face collapsed and she began to sob.Stop!Rosie wanted to shout,women like you aren’t supposed to cry,but Cecilia’s glacial façade had splintered. She put her head in her hands and her shoulders shook as she cried.
‘Shush,’ murmured Charles, taking his wife in his arms and rocking her gently.
As Cecilia’s sobs subsided, he looked up at Evelyn, forever immortalised in oil. ‘What you said was right, Rosie. I’m not a good man. I’ve betrayed people who love me and I make cold, calculated decisions that affect people’s lives, all while telling myself I’m doing the right thing. Meanwhile, it’s people such as you and my wife who bear the fall-out.’
He kissed the top of Cecilia’s head. ‘I didn’t know Sofia was pregnant but I did abandon her. Then, I eased my conscience by giving her Driftwood House. I thought she’d throw the offer back in my face but neither she nor David had much money, and she must have known by then that you were on the way. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me.’
Rosie blinked, close to tears herself. ‘Perhaps she was scared of being rejected for a second time.’
Still holding his wife, Charles slumped back against the sofa. ‘So what happens next? Driftwood House is safe – that was something Icoulddo for you – but I suppose now you’d like me to take a DNA test, to confirm that we are related?’
When Cecilia stirred in his arms, he spoke quietly into her ear. ‘It’ll make no difference to you and me, Cece. I love you dearly and you’re a far better person than me.’
‘But I’m not,’ said Cecilia, pulling away and wiping her nose roughly with the back of her hand. ‘I denied you a child.’
‘No,’ said Rosie, loudly. ‘I’m truly sorry, Cecilia, if I’ve raked up old distress. Of course it’s no one’s fault that you weren’t able to have children.’
She shouldn’t have said that. Poking her nose into a personal conversation was a terrible idea. But rather than telling her to mind her own business, Cecilia stared at her, biting her lip.
‘She’s right.’ Charles reached out and stroked his wife’s hair with such tenderness, Rosie’s throat tightened. But Cecilia shook off his hand and got to her feet. Without another word, she hurried from the room and the door banged behind her.
Charles leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, his face as pale as a ghost.
‘I rather fear you’ve seen us not at our best.’
‘It’s good to see you have…’ Rosie tailed off, still shaken by what she’d witnessed.
‘Good to see I have a heart?’ Charles shook his head. ‘Oh, you have no idea.’ He looked round to make sure that the door had slammed shut. ‘I was in love with your mother, properly in love. As I told you, no one except my sister knew about us. Maybe that was part of the headiness of it all – clandestine meetings, secret kisses, forbidden love. I was expected to marry well and your mother didn’t make the grade. That didn’t matter at first when I met her through Evelyn, who was far less of a snob than I was.’
He frowned. ‘Than I am. We were going to elope and tell my parents when it was a fait accompli so they’d have to accept her eventually. We were going to live simply at Driftwood House.’
‘But none of that happened.’
‘Evelyn died and my parents were devastated. They found out through letters Evelyn had kept that I was engaged to Sofia and begged me to change my mind. The truth is that my sister was the brave one of the family and her courage had rubbed off on me. But that disappeared after she died. We were all in shock and I couldn’t bear to inflict more distress, so I did what was expected of me.’
‘You did theright thing?’
‘Yes. I broke off my relationship with Sofia and married Cecilia shortly afterwards. I heard that Sofia had got back together with David and I was glad that she was with someone else. It helped my conscience.’ A spasm of pain swept across his face.
‘I told you the date of my birth. Could I be your daughter?’
‘Timings-wise? Yes, it’s very possible. The last time your mother and I met, well… I wasn’t proud of myself but, in my mind, we were saying goodbye. I told her afterwards that I was marrying Cecilia and I’ll never forget the way she looked at me. I think she hated me in that moment. But there’s one thing I can’t get past. However much I’d hurt her, I still think Sofia would have told me about you, if you were mine.’
‘She did tell you, Jay.’
