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“I don’t know. Is it weird?” Abi opened the chip back and shook it while Rachel used a plastic knife to cut through the turkey roll and then the chicken salad croissant. Abi looked at her more closely. “Is everything okay?”
“Technically?” Rachel said, making a face to show what she thought of ‘technically’. She shrugged. “Josh is being a jerk, Micah is biting kids in his kindergarten class—which I guess could be related, Sammy’s teacher is concerned because he’s started some kind of eight-year-old protection racket—and Simcha is threatening to quit the board over this bullshit Haggadah business.”
“Protection racket,” Abi said, drawing the words out so she could turn them over in her mind. “What, did Josh let him watch Goodfellas?”
“Abi,” Rachel said, but she was laughing. She rolled her eyes and took a large bite of the chicken salad croissant.
“Also, what would an eight-year-old need protection from? Is Sammy threatening to sic his brother on kids behind the jungle gym?”
“Mmph,” Rachel said, waving a hand so she could finish chewing and then swallow. She cleared her throat. “I would be less worried about that. At least they’d be working together on a project.”
“Rachel,” Abi said, wondering if she had thrown Simcha in at the end there as the thing she actually wanted to discuss, or if it really was something she was concerned about. As far as Abi was aware, Simcha was Rachel’s best friend.
“Ehhh,” Rachel lifted both her hands in a gesture of helplessness. “Anyway, that’s why I was stopping by to see David. Did you know he was going to be a shrink before he decided to be a rabbi? He’s going to meet with Sammy tomorrow before Hebrew School,not like actual therapy or anything, but just to talk. If my kid is going to shake down pre-tweens, I’d rather nip it in the bud.”
“There’s got to be more to it than that, though. It just doesn’t sound like the Sammy I remember,” Abi said because it was true. Rachel’s oldest was the reason she started volunteering with the preschool in the first place. The kid used to give his macaroni art away to the teachers, but he made sure to be fair and never gave to the same one twice in a row.
“Thank you,” Rachel said, “but it’s definitely the same stinker. Honestly, it's probably to do with Josh. I won’t bore you with the details, but you really don’t want to know what an ass he is.”
“You know you can talk to me about it if you want,” Abi said, taking a bite of her half of the chicken salad croissant. She and Rachel weren’t very close, but they were friendly. And Abididcare about her, especially if whatever was happening was rotten enough to have both of her kids acting out.
“Abi, shut up, you don’t have room in your planner for my problems,” Rachel said, this time she was laughing. “If you want to help me, do something about Simcha.”
“I explained to her a few days ago—the Haggadah she showed me is cute, but our curriculum is already set. It’s not just about the preschool, but we work with the Hebrew School too, and if we change what we’re doing, it causes problems for everybody,” Abi said, taking a bite of the turkey roll this time. Switching between the entrees was probably going to give her indigestion something terrible, but she liked the different flavors. The pomegranate seeds were a great touch, and she made a sound of pleasure.
“She told me. And I get what you’re saying. To be honest, I think what you’ve got planned is perfect, so I don’t understand why she thinks working pop culture into every single holiday is such a great thing,” she said, flopping her shoulders up and then back down again in an approximation of a shrug. “But it’s Simcha. She’s used to getting her way, and she thinks because I’m the PTO President I can do something.”
“I definitely recall something about phenomenal, cosmic powers being part of the deal, otherwise why would anybody sign up for that?” Abi said. The regular committee positions were a lot of work, but the officers had most of the work and had to deal with all the other stuff on top of it. Rachel’s kids weren’t even going to the Preschool any longer, but the terms were two years, and she was sticking it out like a champ. Abi was pretty sure Simcha on the other hand,hadjoined the board specifically for the phenomenal cosmic powers and was annoyed they weren’t as phenomenal and cosmic as she thought.
“I know she’s not your favorite,” Rachel said, looking at Abi sidelong as she picked a grape out of her chicken salad.
“I never actually said that,” Abi said as she used a chip to shovel some bits of chicken salad that had fallen from her half of the croissant onto the plate.
“Of course, you didn’t. But it’s Simcha. She’s my best friend, so I know who she is. Also, she’s been extra pissy lately because the Howards really screwed her over with this land thing—”
“The Howardfamily?” Abi asked, surprised, though she couldn’t say exactly why. The Howard family was one of the wealthiest families in the county. They’d owned the bank since the town had been incorporated. The son was a biker or something, she thought, trying to remember. Abi was pretty sure the mother was in an assisted living facility.
“Yeah, well, the foundation anyway. See, she was working on a contract to clear the land around the lake—for the spa you know? And anyway, the town did the rezoning thing, and Efrat and Son won the bid for that, which means they won’t be able to do her thing until the town thing is done, which puts her whole prospectus into limbo. She’s having kittens.”
“Wow,” Abi said because that explained quite a bit of the animosity Simcha had shown in the Co-op the other night.
“Yeah, so I’m just saying don’t be too put out with her, she’s got a lot going on and she’s taking it out on people she thinks she can control. It’s dicky, but you know.”
“That’s…”
“Totally immature, right?” Rachel said miserably, taking a large bite of the avocado/turkey thing.
“I mean,” Abi said, wondering how Simcha would feel if she knew Rachel was telling Abi her business like this. Then Abi decided it likely didn’t matter. Even if Simcha Hallerman thought the preschool was one of the things in her life she could control, that didn’t mean Abi was caving to her demands. “What’s the best way to handle it? With the understanding that I’m not doing what she wants.”
“Extended vacation in the Maldives?” she shrugged, sipping her iced tea. “I don’t know why anyone would ask my advice; I’ve got one kid that’s working on being a mobster, another one who’s gone feral, and clearly, I’m not great with interpersonal relationships. My way of dealing with Simcha is usually to give her what she doesn’t know she wants.”
“I feel like this is where I tell you you’re being too hard on yourself,” Abi said because it seemed like the thing to say. She knew David would tell Rachel the truth if he felt like there was a reason to be concerned about Sammy. She also suspected it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if Rachel took the whole family for therapy, but her father was a therapist, so she usually suggested that first thing anyway.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Rachel said, sighing in a way that reminded Abi of when they were teenagers.
Abi had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at her. A thought occurred to her. “So, with regards to Sammy, you think he’d handle Simcha if I offered him a couple of pudding pops and some gift cards to GameStop?” She was joking, of course, but the look on Rebecca’s face was worth it.
“Abi,” Rachel was laughing now, “this is so not like you.”
