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She shook her head with regret. “Not pregnant.”
“Fuckin’ people should be shot,” Barrett snarled.
“Isn’t it good that she’s not pregnant?” I asked.
“Not in this case, Willa.” Barrett turned to study me in his still, measured way. “In this case, what we hoped might be a litter, is distension from heart and liver damage caused by the heartworm.”
“Can’t you fix it? Isn’t there medicine to fix them?”
It couldn’t be possible that after gathering all the volunteers and bathing sick and wounded animals for hours that there was nothing they could do.
Barrett weaved his fingers through mine and tugged me over to the enclosure where Muffin curled up in a ball where we had a modicum of privacy.
“She’s old, and the treatment is very tough on the dogs, especially when the heartworm is as advanced as it is in her case. Treatment would kill her outright.”
Tears came to my eyes. “So, we just wait for her to die?”
Barrett nodded. “Yeah, curly. We make her comfortable and we wait for her to die.”
I stuck my finger through the wide mesh and her little tail wagged. “How long will she have?”
“A matter of days to weeks.”
“And the others?”
“Each will be assessed. We’ll treat the ones we can.”
“Should we try to find fosters for them? Can we take her home with us?” I didn’t want her to spend her final days locked in a cage. A familiar sense of helplessness and dread shadowed me. The phantom smell of cigarette smoke hung in the air. My stomach lurched in anticipation of the wait.
“There’s no point sending her home with someone to die. If they get excited at this stage, they can die quite suddenly. It would be cruel to do that to someone, but we’ll take good care of her in here,” he explained, “I’m surprised she survived the transfer.”
I could hear the thickness of my tears in my voice. “Can I take her to my office for a little while each day?”
He brushed the backs of his fingers across my cheek. “You’ll be okay if she passes quickly?”
My throat clogged and I nodded as I struggled to speak through the tightness in my throat. “I will. I just want to comfort her, no one should be left alone like this.”
“Okay, curly. When the fundraiser is over, if she’s still holding on, we’ll see about taking her home with us, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up. It’s extremely likely that she won’t last more than a few days, and it’s paramount that we keep her quiet until we know the extent of her disease.”
“Okay, Viking,” I whispered as he opened the cage door so I could pet her. She wagged her tail and pushed her tiny nose into my hand. “Look how sweet she is, Barrett! Who could do such a thing?”
He reached his big hand into the cage and stroked Muffin gently from tip to tail. “Nobody who’s worth anything, angel.”
I went back to my office with the assurance that Barrett would bring her to my office to sit with me after her x-rays. I had a lot to do in preparation for the fundraiser, only eleven days away. I spent two hours confirming volunteers, caterers, and rentals, and they passed in a moment.
Barrett let himself into my office, the bit of fluff that was Muffin, cradled in his massive arms. The thought that he’d be a good daddy one day entered my mind unbidden. I wondered how badly he wanted children, and if us not having them would eventually be an issue between us.
He smiled at me as he ducked his head coming through the doorway. “I brought you a visitor.”
I smiled back at him as he deposited her in my arms where she settled with a little sigh. She coughed a few times and I looked at Barrett in question.
“Lung damage,” he murmured, and I nodded sadly. His tone switched to doctor mode as he instructed me, “she’s not allowed to exercise, not even walking from here to the clinic. If you think she needs to go to the bathroom, you put the leash on her and carry her outside, okay?”
“Got it. She’s on my lap or in my arms… can she lie down in the basket?”
“So long as she stays in it, sure,” he shrugged, leaning close to kiss me. “You sure you want this?”
“I’m sure.”
