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Rhys, Bex, and the twins left in a flurry of hugs and kisses, and I settled on the couch beside Barrett and listened while he chatted with his father. Jeanie bustled in and out of the kitchen, refusing help for the moment but enlisting us to do dishes later. She catered to us, bringing drinks and appetizers, asked me about my job, about Olivia and how she was doing at the shelter, and she told me about the twins’ antics over the past few days.
Listening to them over the course of the afternoon, I understood that they spoke a language of love, acceptance, and healthy expectation, one that no one had taught me. The foundation for this kind of family was missing from my own experience.
I could never recreate this homelife for Barrett and me and our kids. The unexpected thought of children with Barrett jarred me into remembering the one that should have been there, but wasn’t, due to my own actions.
I was a fraud.
I presented to the world the Willa I wanted them to see. I wondered what Jeanie and Calum would think of me if they knew my shame.
Chapter 40
Kryptonite
Willa
Junie’s knock sounded at the door. She got here faster than I thought she would. I was at Barrett’s place, relaxing with him after the best Thanksgiving dinner I’d ever had. As soon as I heard her voice on the phone, I knew it was bad and agreed to meet her at my house. She didn’t want to go home in case Lenny showed up. No sooner had I cracked the door open than she was inside, dropping her purse on the floor, her hands in fists by her sides, her face flushed bright pink.
“Argh! I’m done!”
“You’re done? How? With Lenny?” I asked in shock, “You were just at his parents’ place for dinner! What happened?”
Junie unclenched her fists and rolled her neck back and forth, “Okay, I need to get you a little caught up. Do you have wine?”
Holy shit, I’d never seen Junie frazzled like this. I pointed her towards the couch. “Have a seat, I’ll pour.”
Junie collapsed into a ball, sitting sideways on the couch, one elbow cocked on the back with her head resting in her hand. I poured two healthy glasses of wine before mentally checking myself and exchanging mine for cranberry juice. I mean, I knew I wasn’t pregnant, I’d taken two tests, but until I got my period I was going to be cautious. I sat down beside her and handed her a glass.
She downed a third of it and let out a deep breath.
“Okay. So. You know how I’ve been telling you how wonderful things have been?”
“Yes,” I responded cautiously.
“It’s true, things have been great except for one tiny wrinkle and that wrinkle’s name is Vanessa.”
“Has she been calling him?”
Junie snorted. “Calling? Yes. Hanging out with him? Check. Coming to his parents’ barbecue on Labour Day weekend and walking around the kitchen and the house like it’s her own? Definitely. Calling his parents ‘mom’ and ‘dad’? Yep! And treating me like I’m a guest in her home rather than Lenny’s date at his parents’ home today for thanksgiving? Yes, again!”
“She was there? Did he invite her?”
“No... his parents did. Which I think his mom might have regretted a tiny bit. She sat with me and chatted while she could, and I saw her frown at Vanessa a few times. I don’t think Vanessa is pulling anything over on her, but she’s got his dad wrapped around her baby finger! And, more importantly, she has Lenny wrapped around her other baby finger!”
“Can you start at the beginning? I’m obviously missing something here.”
“I’m going to make a long story really short. First, he’s broken two dates with me in the past week because Vanessa called needing to talk. Secondly, after the dinner when I confronted him about him canceling our dates and about her behavior at the barbecue, he reprimanded me! Told me ‘not everyone had the benefit of a golden childhood’, and I ‘could try to exercise a little compassion’!”
“He doesn’t see what she’s up to,” I confirmed.
“No! He doesn’t! He just sees what he perceives as his own failings and the opportunity to make it up to her.”
“Don’t you think he’ll catch on soon? Especially if his mom is seeing it and you’re telling him?”
“Whether he does or he doesn’t no longer matters. I won’t be second. He’s allowed her to interfere in our relationship too many times. I mean,” she threw up her hand, “I get that he has a past. I get that he has baggage, but please! It’s normal to bring a little baggage from your ex-wife into your next relationship, it’s not normal to bring your actual ex-wife! They don’t even share children!”
I nodded and Junie went on.
“And I want children! I’ve always wanted children! I want marriage, children, soccer practices, baby spit-up, diapers, high school graduations, driving lessons, first day of kindergarten...I want a husband who loves me just as I am, I want it all. But nowhere in my plans for my future family is there a Vanessa, and I’m not going to share my husband’s loyalties.”
