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“You’re probably right.”
He rumbled, “I usually am, but in this case, I wish I weren’t.”
I blushed. I didn’t know what to do, how to say goodbye. I decided to be direct. It worked for us so far.
“So, now what? I don’t know what to do here.”
He stood towering over me. His big chest tempting my hands to explore, his incredible hazel eyes luminescent in the low light, his severe face serious and cast in shadow.
He unhooked his thumbs from his pockets and opened his arms. “Give me a friendly hug and I’ll be on my way.”
This I could do. This I wanted to do. I stepped unhesitatingly into his arms and wrapped my arms loosely around his back. He enclosed his arms around my back, one lower, one higher, and pulled me gently closer. My hands flexed involuntarily into the muscles of his back.
“You feel…good, safe.”
I turned my face to the side and rested my cheek against his chest for just a moment and breathed in deeply. I wondered what it would be like to be allowed to depend on this, but those were foolish dreams reserved for foolish little girls, and it had been a long, long time since I’d been one of those.
Still, I stole that moment. His arms did not tighten further, he took no advantage. After another moment I heard him sigh, deeply, and felt his lips press a kiss to the top of my head as he released me.
He tugged an errant curl that had escaped my ponytail. “Goodnight, curly.”
I smiled at the endearment.
“Thank you for the ride, Viking,” I replied, my smile sliding into a grin.
He shook his head at his new moniker and turned away, saying, “Lock up.”
I closed my door on his retreating form, leaned my back against it from the
inside, and wished there could be more between us.
Just one week after that, Rebecca and Rhys broke up. I lay on the brakes of my friendship with Barrett so hard it was a wonder I hadn’t given him whiplash. He popped into my office to see me occasionally, but I kept my defenses firmly in place.
He was upfront with me as always, saying once, “If you change your mind, call me. I’m not planning on getting involved with anyone else right now.”
In the end, I decided not to call him. Even though Rececca and Rhys got back together, moved in together, and got engaged at Christmas, I’d decided Barrett was too much of a threat to the peace of mind I’d worked so hard to piece together.
Life went on as usual on the outside. On the inside, thoughts and dreams of what could be, invaded my mind constantly, like a marauding Viking.
Chapter 4
Friends
Willa
Over the next several months, Barrett made it a habit to pop into my office occasionally to chat, often bringing me a coffee. I saw him a few times at either Mara’s or Rebecca’s as well, but that was the extent of our contact with one another.
I told myself it was better this way.
I repeated it to myself a lot in between lamentations about the cold and the dark.I hated February with a passion. It wasn’t the worst of the months. November was cold and dark, and May was a killer, but February was cold, dark, and dirty. I parked my little car in the parking lot and tramped through the slush and dirt-packed snow to the shelter, swinging the door open and stepping into the sounds and smells of unconditional love.
After grabbing a few friends from their enclosures for company, I settled into my routine. I was eating lunch at my desk, fending off one persistent little fellow who wanted a piece of my sandwich, when Barrett knocked on my door and stuck his head in.
“Hey, curly,” he rumbled.
As often as I’d encountered him, I was never completely prepared to see Barrett. He looked fierce, felt like a fireplace in winter, and I was sure he tasted delicious although I’d never had that privilege.
“Hello, Viking.” My voice was husky due to my dangerously rambling thoughts. I coughed to cover it up and avoided his suddenly alert gaze. “How are you?”
