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Bex reached for my hand, and squeezed, her pixie face serious and determined.
The truth was, they would always be there for me, just like they always had been.
Bex continued. “You don’t have to do this, of course. I know we talked about it the other night, and Mara and I talked about it yesterday when we were out, but if you’re not ready, we can put it off. We’d just like to help you replace that hospital bracelet.”
The truth was, they knew my heart, and were driven to care for it and protect it, just as I was driven to care for and protect their hearts.
“Push, pull, drag, hogtie…” Mara began.
Bex and I finished together. “Whatever it takes.”
Inside the store, I was at a bit of a loss. Bex had made us all appointments, and we were the only ones in there, which was better for me.
“Do you know what you’re getting?” I asked them.
“A compass rose,” Bex answered immediately. “I considered a phoenix, but a compass represents me getting my direction back, that direction leading me to Rhys and my kids.”
“Mara?” I turned to my sister. She blushed.
“I’m getting a tiny wave, on the inside of my finger, to remind me of my happy place, to remind me that there are ups and downs, to remind me that the water always returns to the shore. My brain, it misfires, and that pulls me away from Zale. The wave symbolizes, for me, that no matter what, we always come back together.”
Mara’s voice got thicker the longer she spoke and by the end of her explanation, tears welled in her eyes. Bex laughed and hugged her hard.
“I haven’t really thought about it,” I admitted. “I know I want something, but I want it to mean something just as yours mean something. I like the idea of getting a delicate tattoo bracelet, but I want something more. Something that symbolizes remembrance. Something that symbolizes wishing things could have been different.”
“Talk to the artist. Tell him what you’re looking for and see what he comes up with. I booked you with the designer, knowing you might not know what you wanted,” Bex encouraged.
“You don’t have to get it today, Willa, or at all. But we wanted to get you here and give you the option,” Mara said softly.
Two hours later we reconvened to compare our new markings before they were to be covered up with the goop and gauze that would protect them. Bex’s compass rose graced her left inner wrist. Mara’s wave took its place beside her wedding band. I showed them the inside of my wrist, where a tiny elephant held a dandelion in its upturned trunk, the delicate wishes floating up my forearm towards my heart.
They both gasped and Mara cried, “It’s beautiful! And perfect! Just like you!”
I then showed them my other wrist, where I’d had a tiny Viking helmet with the words “Whatever it Takes” written in script underneath. Bex laughed, and Mara snorted. I looked up at them in surprise. They held their right wrists out to me for my inspection, where they had scripted the same words.
The revelation that I thought I’d had in the car was nothing in comparison to the transformation that happened right there in that shop. It came over me like a tidal wave, slamming into the last of my walls, tearing them down and crumbling them into dust. I stood open and unbound. My heart, pumped full of life-giving blood, would spill and heal and hurt and break and love and fear and celebrate hundreds of times in the years I had left.
And I would feel every single beat.
Chapter 50
Peanut Gallery
Willa
I looked down at my freshly painted nails. I’d been massaged, oiled, lotioned, trimmed, waxed, dipped in mud, and painted. No part of me was untouched, save my wrists. We’d all had the same treatment, all being Mara, Bex, Junie, Minty, and myself.
The car was quiet, only the sounds of the radio broke the silence. We were talked out and super-relaxed. This time Minty drove, and I sat beside her in the passenger seat. We fit much more comfortably in her larger vehicle than we did in Mara’s little car when Mara drove us all to the ultrasound.
I took out my cell and watched the video again.
“I’m going to tell him today when I see him,” I announced.
“Good idea,” Junie agreed.
“Yup,” Mara seconded.
“You’ll have the weekend to celebrate,” Bex added.
