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“You haven’t had the right partner. Nobody’s good with the wrong partner. Relationships aren’t meant to work with the wrong partner.”
That made a bit too much sense. “I’ve never had a male friend. All my relationships started with romance.”
“Well, we’re trying something new, then,” he paused, “we’re already different from anything you’ve had before. Are you dating?”
“I’m not all that interested in dating anyone. Are you dating?”
“I date one woman at a time, usually one per year, that’s about how long it takes for the relationship to run its course.”
“You didn’t really answer the question. I’ll move on.” I was irritated but had no right to be. “Have you ever been serious about anyone?”
He maintained his steady perusal. “I’m not seeing anyone else or interested in seeing anyone other than you. If it changes, I’ll let you know.”
His words simultaneously warmed and chilled me. Warmed because he wanted me, chilled because there was an expiration date sometime in the near future.
He continued speaking. “I thought about getting married once. Shortly before my sister-in-law Amy passed. Seeing Rhys fall apart…”
“It scared you,” I surmised.
“No,” he denied adamantly, “I knew in an instant I would never feel for her what Rhys felt for Amy. That wasn’t fair to either of us. I’d be cheating her out of something more and cheating myself out of the real deal. Since then, I’ve never felt anything deeper for anyone else.”
“And no one right now?”
“I had a girlfriend. I broke up with her the day I met you because I met you. You and I have that something more I’ve been waiting for. You think we have it too, you’re just not ready to accept it.”
I could not deny that truth, but that was not a truth that would set me free. It was more likely to send me into hiding.
“What if I’m never ready?” I asked softly, not wanting to hear his deadline.
He nodded, acknowledging the possibility. “I’m not going to wait forever, but I am in this for the long haul. You’ve got time to figure it out.”
“Won’t you be, uh, suffering?” I stumbled over the words, getting far too intimate for my comfort level.
He met my eyes, his face serious, eyes smiling. “You want to help me out with that?”
I grinned. “You know I do, but I can’t. I nearly had a coronary coming into work after a kiss. I don’t think I’d survive getting naked with you.”
His eyes darkened and he smiled a slow smile. “No problem, I’ll check in with you regularly to update the status on that.”
I laughed out loud.
“Give me your reasons again so I’m clear on why you’re holding out on us,” he demanded.
I held up one finger. “One, I’m not good at relationships and I don’t want things to be awkward at work if things go south.”
I held up another finger. “Two, and much more importantly, I don’t want to lose you. I can find another job working with animals, but I’ll never find another Barrett.”
I held up a third finger. “Three, I don’t want to mess anything up for our group. We’re like a family and I don’t have a lot of family.”
“Got it.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes.”
“We’re good?”
“For now.”
