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Chapter 4 – Hungry
11 Years Ago
Ruby
It took me six years to complete my degree online. In some ways, I straggled behind my peers who finished university by their early twenties. In other ways, I’d lurched ahead.
My grandmother, with Amber’s blessing, signed ownership of Spuds over to me when Amber finished school and set up her practice. Because of that, I owned my own business, free and clear, and I finally started saving money.
Although he was always on my mind, I refused to look Vander up on social media, afraid of what I might find. When I missed him more than usual, I listened to Cat Stevens’ ‘Rubylove’ on repeat and relived that sweet chapter of my life. Over time the pain of losing him lessened and reliving the two years I had with him sustained me when the loneliness hit me particularly hard.
I dated, occasionally, but no one could hold a candle to the fire Vander lit inside me. I never got over him. It took seeing him again for that to happen.
My love life resembled a barren wasteland, so I decided to focus on my career. I registered for a conference for small business owners looking to franchise. The conference was located a little over an hour away, thirty minutes outside my bubble, and I drove myself.
It took me six weeks of snowy, slushy weekend drives to work my way up to it, but I did it. The morning I checked in, I didn’t even break a sweat. Being at that conference signified the successful culmination of all my work, both in school and with my mental health, over the past decade.
I booked the hotel for two nights, so I could attend both days without the added stress of driving home after a busy day. I clicked across the marble floors in my smart new heels, wearing a freshly tailored pantsuit that even impressed Yiayia when I left the house early that morning.
I felt like a woman finally coming into her own, clicking across the floor, pulling my roll-a-long behind me. I bought it expressly for the conference. I’d had no use for a suitcase up until then.
After checking in, the bellhop stored my heavy coat and luggage behind the counter. They assured me that they would later deposit it in my room, and it would be waiting for me at the end of the day.
I tucked my room key into my new briefcase and stepped through the double doors into the conference room.
I signed in at the long table near the entrance and collected my lanyard, then scanned the large room. The buzz of excited conversation added to the atmosphere of anticipation. These were people just like me. Small business owners wanting to take their ideas to the next level.
“What do you think, Pappou?” I whispered softly with a grin. I probably looked like a crazy person, but I didn’t care. How proud he would be to see this.
I could hear his voice in my head. ‘Food is life, koukla-mou. We eat together, means we celebrate together, means we mourn together, means we live, together.’
I walked the periphery of the room to peruse the displays that were set up but as of yet unmanned. Later there would be bank representatives, lawyers, business analysts and coaches, marketing specialists, and social media gurus attending each station. In short, every service and team member imaginable, ready and waiting to answer my questions.
I collected a few pamphlets. I needed to see information in print to be able to process it and collecting the pamphlets would give me time to organize which booths I wanted to visit later.
The odd sensation of someone looking at me had me twisting around to locate the source. There were dozens of people, not one paying the least attention to me. My breath accelerated and I felt a chill. My heart fluttered.
I attended to my breathing to ground myself and looked for a chair to sit on until the sensation passed. I repeated my calming mantra in my head. I breathe and live and move freely in my world. When my body settled, I looked around the room to get my bearings once again.
My eyes caught on the back of a dark head that topped wide shoulders and a long, lean frame. My heart pinged painfully. Something about him reminded me of Vander, or how he might have looked once he’d filled out. I could not pull my eyes away from the unknown man. I willed him to turn around. I wanted to see his face, so I could stop fooling myself.
Logically, I knew it could not be Vander. He lived three thousand miles away. Still watching the dark-haired man, I noticed when he straightened to his full height and stiffened. His head turned slightly to the side, and my heart pounded in my chest.
Even the way he held himself reminded me of Vander, but this man wore glasses. Vander didn’t. His hair was cut much shorter than Vander had ever worn his. It couldn’t be him.
Turn around, I willed him in my mind. If he didn’t turn soon, I planned to walk over there to assuage my curiosity.
All at once, he turned one hundred and eighty degrees and immediately met my eyes.
My mouth fell open in shock, and I jerked back in my chair. Immobilized. The conversations around me receded to a low drone, and my blood pumped loudly in my ears. Vander didn’t look at all surprised to see me, but his expression tightened as he held my gaze.
The blood rushed from my head and the room spun. I quickly bent over, tucking my head between my knees. I dragged air in through my nose. Someone lay a soft hand on my back and asked if I was okay with an equally soft voice. I nodded but couldn’t sit up.
“Happens sometimes. I’ll be okay in a minute,” I explained.
Another voice, a deep male voice, cut in. “Do you need a drink? Something to eat?”
“No, no,” I answered, mortified. “I’ll be okay in a moment.”
