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Chapter 39 – Tell Me About Her
Ruby
I walked down the hall towards the bedrooms. I realized I didn’t know which room Jace picked, and both doors were closed.
I knocked gently on the first door but heard no answer. I pressed my finger into the divot of my top lip. If Jace was in there, he would’ve answered. I moved to the second door and knocked gently.
“Come in,” Jace called.
I opened the door with a smile on my face. “Oh!” I stopped in surprise. Jace was in one bed, George was across from him tucked into the other. “You guys are sharing?”
“Yeah,” Jace answered. “We promise we won’t stay up too late.”
I moved into the room and sat on the edge of Jace’s bed. “That’s fine.” I swept his hair off his forehead. He was losing his baby look. In fact, I’d only to look across the room to see what was coming.
I turned and smiled at George who pretended not to watch. “You guys look alike; do you know that?”
George nodded hesitantly.
Where was the boy from the FaceTime chats? This child was unsure of himself, or more accurately, unsure of me.
I turned back to Jace. “You’re getting up early tomorrow to go mountain biking. Don’t stay up too late, agapimeno mou.”
He nodded and I bent over to kiss him on his forehead. “I love you, s’agapo, with all of my heart.”
“I love you, too, Momma.”
I stood. I felt awkward walking out without visiting George. I took a few steps towards his bed, and he followed me with big eyes. At the bottom, I leaned over and placed a hand on his foot over the covers.
“Goodnight, Georgie,” I said softly. “Sweet dreams, honey.”
“Goodnight, Ruby.”
Vander waited for me in the master with more than a hint of anxiety on his face.
It was not unfounded. My feelings were all over the place.
While I mentally berated myself for holding the sins of the mother against the child, I still struggled to not think of her, when I looked at George. I especially tried not to think of her standing with Vander in front of the altar joined by God, and worse, not to think of her keeping Vander away from me for a decade while she carried on with her life.
I was furious with myself for allowing Vander’s past decisions, decisions that I not only understood but even contributed to, to bother me.
Sending a vague smile in his direction, I escaped to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
As soon as I closed the door, I sagged back against it. The effort required to smile, and laugh, to make George comfortable, to tamp down my jealousy, to hide my pain from Vander, was exhausting.
Now that I was alone, the thoughts and feelings I’d run from all day caught up to me and pounded on the closed doors of my mind. With every door I slammed shut, another swung open.
She kept Vander away from me, she used George to do it, and Vander allowed it.
Slam.
Vander would always be involved with her because she was the mother of his son.
Slam.
I’d have to meet her eventually.
Slam.
