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“Ruby! Thank, God!” Every cell in my body stood at attention and the blood drained from my face at Angus’s panicked tone. “I’m stuck in traffic downtown, Rubes. Amber’s water just broke. You’ve gotta go pick her up and take her to Milltown General. The doctor will meet you there.”
I breathed in deeply. It’s okay, Ruby. Everyone is okay.
“Ruby? Rubes? I’m sorry, honey. I know this is hard for you, but it’s you or a cab, and I don’t want my wife giving birth in a taxicab.”
“I..” I croaked, then cleared my throat. “I’ve got this. I’m fine, Gus. I’m on my way. I’ll pick her up and meet you at Milltown General.”
I ended the call, locked the front door, and exited through the back.
Amber sat on the couch reading a magazine when I charged into her place.
“Ruby?” she asked, startled. “What are you doing here?”
“Gus is stuck in traffic.” I gasped for breath, leaning against the breakfast bar. “I’m here to take you to the hospital.”
Amber eased off the couch and waddled toward me, smiling. “Deep breath, koukla, or I’ll be driving you to the hospital. I’m just having a baby. Nothing could be more natural!” She rubbed my back then moved behind the counter to get me a glass of water. She passed it to me, and I tipped back my head and drained it. When I finished, Amber had disappeared.
“Amber?” I called confused.
“Down here,” she gasped.
I looked over the counter to see her bent double, hands to her knees.
I awkwardly ran around the breakfast bar to get to her and hauled her up by her arm. She glared at me. “What’s wrong?” I cried, panicked.
“Nothing is wrong,” she gritted out through her teeth, her eyes burning twin holes through my soul. “I’m having a …baaabyyyy…” She grimaced and squeezed her eyes shut. She tilted her chin up to look at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “Nothing could be more natural.” She paused and rubbed her lower belly. “My bag is at the door, but we still have to pick up Yiayia. Do you think we could swing through the Dairy Queen drive-thru?”
I peered at her with narrowed eyes. She stared steadily back at me. “You, are a crazy woman,” I said evenly.
She barked out a laugh. “I am. We’ll see how crazy youuuuuu arrreee…” She reached for my hand and gripped it so hard my knees buckled. She was bending deep and dragging me with her.
“Amber, nooo! My hand!” Amber let out a deep, guttural groan that sounded like it came from a three-hundred-pound trucker with a bad case of food poisoning.
I laughed, hard, then gasped at the warm ribbon of fluid trickling down my leg.
“Shitfuckdamn! I think I peed!” I exclaimed, standing straight.
Amber, still bent in half, looked at my crotch. “Yep. You did. Go get changed and make it quick. We really gotta go.”
“I’m going!” I ran awkwardly to her bedroom and pulled out a clean pair of underwear and leggings, tossing my pee-pee pants into her laundry hamper. I shrugged. I’d be back to do her laundry later while Yiayia cooked for them. Anyways, it wasn’t the most disgusting of the body fluids we’d be dealing with today.
We swung by and picked up Yiayia, who waited on the front step with her purse at her side and her latest crochet project in a bag at her feet. By the time we got to the hospital, Yiayia shook her head at both of us. Amber and I were laughing too hard to care.
“If you say, one more time, that nothing is more natural than this, I swear I’m going to drop you off at the side of the road, and you can pull that baby out yourself!”
“It is natural,” Amber argued. “It just hurts like a SONOFABITCH!” She bent in two again and a nurse came around the desk, pushing a wheelchair in front of her.
“Let’s get you registered, shall we?” She took over, all business, and wheeled Amber over to the desk.
Amber twisted to look over her shoulder, her eyes wild and wide. “Ruby! Ruby, come with me!”
I barely got the paperwork filled out before they whisked Amber into a room to check her cervix.
I helped her undress and slip into a gown. I stood beside her, holding her hand as they propped her legs up into the stirrups and the nurse snapped a glove on. She placed one steadying hand on Amber’s knee and held up two gloved fingers.
“Going to measure your cervix, okay, hun?” The nurse bent her elbow, and I felt my sister jolt slightly at the intrusion. The nurse pulled out and tossed the glove into the trash then announced excitedly, “You’re having a baby, love!” She turned to the other nurse in the room. “She’s over nine centimeters. Page the doc.”
The nurses worked briskly and efficiently, setting up equipment and wheeling in the bassinet, while I stood at Amber’s head, holding her hand as she tried to breathe through brutal contractions that broke one on top of the other.
