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Chapter 9 - Validation
Ruby
Drew and I never did move in together.
When our son, Jace, was four months old, Drew cornered me at Spuds. By that time, he had Yiayia in his back pocket due to his inherent sweetness and loving attentiveness. He’d been pushing for Jace and me to move in with him, and I’d been putting him off for weeks. We hadn’t made love since before Jace’s birth, and I was more than okay with that.
We sat at my usual corner table and Yiayia retreated to the back to give us privacy.
He placed his palms face up on the table between us. I placed my hands in his and hesitantly met his steady gaze.
“It’s not going to be enough for you, is it?” He asked sadly.
“You don’t love me,” I answered.
He smiled softly and squeezed my fingers. “I feel great affection for you. We have fun. We’re good in the sack. We’re friends. We have a child. I think we could be good together.” He chuckled. “Even Yiayia finally likes me!”
I laughed and squeezed him back. He really was so very good-looking. He had the kindest eyes, the sweetest smile, and in bed he played me like a violin.
“And what happens when you find someone who makes your heart beat faster? Then what?” I asked softly.
He sat back in his chair but didn’t relinquish my fingers. He sighed. “That ship has sailed for me, Ruby.”
“There was someone once?”
He looked away. “A long time ago.” He turned back to me. “Just as I suspect there was someone else for you as well.”
I nodded. There was no point in hiding it.
He leaned forward again. “What we have is good. I think we can make it.”
I huffed. “Make what? Make do? Don’t you want more than that?”
His face lost all trace of its usual good-naturedness, and his eyes went hard. “Not anymore.”
“See,” I whispered, gently pulling my hands from his grasp. “I’d rather be nothing than be second best.”
We remained close. Things got weird for awhile when Drew started dating a few weeks after our chat in Spuds, but we worked past it. The sharp spike of jealousy elicited by seeing him with someone else surprised me. He noticed, but by the time he confronted me about it, I’d already buried it. I often wondered if he and I missed an opportunity to be genuinely happy, if love wouldn’t have come for us in time, if, in fact, it was already there, and we’d just failed to recognize it.
We saw Drew a couple of times a week, and he made it for Sunday dinner at Yiayia’s when he could. He didn’t have a high-paying job, so he didn’t help overly much with the bills, but I didn’t need financial help.
Amber hired a nanny shortly after Alex’s birth, and shared her with me, which greatly alleviated my financial situation and ensured our boys spent their days together. I tried to pay her, but Amber shut me down, reminding me that I financed her education by running Spuds when Pappou passed.
The nanny wasn’t the only thing the boys shared. Traditionally, Greeks name their firstborn sons after the husband’s father. Angus, not being Greek, had no objection to Amber wanting to name their son after our father.
In fact, we both wanted to name our babies, if they were boys, after our father, as well as our grandfather. We decided early on that we would use both names. Amber named her son Alexander Jace, and I named mine Jace Alexander, in honor of both our father and our grandfather, Jason and Alexandros. They were growing up like brothers rather than cousins, and Amber and I loved it that way.
Although I maintained my bubble of Bayview Village, Milltown, and Bridgewater, I struggled even more with going anywhere last minute, safe zone or not, due to the perceived danger of bringing Jace with me. Unfortunately, Jace excelled at requiring me to make last minute changes to my schedule.
Ear infections were the worst, always cropping up in the middle of the night.
The first time it happened was a shock. His frantic screams jolted me out of a deep sleep. I rolled out of bed, landed on my feet, and stumbled halfway across the room before my eyes were fully open.
Yiayia opened her bedroom door as I slipped through Jace’s doorway into his room. He thrashed in his crib, his little hand clawing at his ear.
“Hey, little man.” I soothed, lifting him up against my chest. He curled into me for a moment, then arched his little back, throwing himself away from me. I caught the back of his head with my palm. I’d never seen him like this. “What’s the matter, agapimeno mou?”
“He has ear infection, poulaki mou,” Yiayia said, patting his little back. “See how he grab his ear? Take him to the doctor.”
